It was two years ago that I started blogging here at the beginning of May. And now it's been two years, this Memorial Day weekend since I met Natalie. Amazing huh? I know some of you have been reading me since day one and you know all about how we met. And other people probably have no idea about our story or who I am. So I guess I'll just give a little recap.
It was two years ago when I got hit in the face with a softball and ended up in Nat's emergency room. We hit it off instantly and pretty much ever since that day we've been together. We got engaged soon after, and we eloped that January. And now we're a month away from having our first child. How does that happen so fast?
The baby is due on June 24th, which is my 30th birthday. And part of me has never been so excited, and the other part of me is scared shitless. I'm told it's normal. But the closer it gets, the more ready I feel to just get it over with. I think this transition period is harder than anything else. All the waiting...It drives me crazy and makes my imagination take on a life of it's own. I've already imagined every horrible thing that could possibly happen. From the truly tragic, to the selfish thoughts of, "I don't know if I can handle not sleeping ever again!" I think I'm just ready to do this and not wonder anymore what it'll be like.
We started some childbirthing classes last week and it's supposed to prepare us for what to expect. But I think it just sort of freaked me out more because there's a lot of stuff involved in all this. We got to see the epidural needle and learned about when they'd administer that. And it seems horrible to me, but I guess it's less horrible than actually feeling everything. They focused a lot on alternatives to pain medicine and epidurals though, and I'm pretty sure Nat wants no part of that. She's seen people give birth before and she wants all the drugs they can give her so she won't feel anything.
But they had us watch these videos of childbirth to better prepare us for the blessed event. And it followed three couples, each of them with a different experience. One had a c-section (totally gross and I had to cover my eyes!) the other had a regular birth with an epidural and the last couple were these natural hippie types who didn't want any sort of medical help unless it was an emergency. Nat and I both agreed that the nature hippies were crazy.
The woman decided to do her labor totally naked, and her husband joined in. So we had to sit there and watch these two naked people (who were not very attractive) walking around panting and moaning. It was hilarious. I think I was supposed to be moved by the beauty of it, but I guess I'm sort of a dork because I just thought it was funny. Especially since whenever the woman would get a contraction, she'd start going, "oooh, uhhh, yeah! uh-huh...oooooh!" And I really thought I was watching a bad porno movie.
She looked like she was having an orgasm and Nat just giggled and whispered to me that she wished childbirth felt that good, but she wasn't gonna chance it. Or be naked. Or ask me to be naked. Thank god. I wasn't really into the idea of prancing around the hospital room naked, chanting calming meditations like the guy in the video. I joked to Nat that I thought this woman would give birth on the back of unicorn in a meadow somewhere if she could. She was that enchanted by the whole process. But we're just gonna stick to the middle option if possible. We're hoping for a natural birth with lots of medication. Which doesn't really make it 'natural' but we're hoping for no c-section at least.
I was pretty traumatized by seeing the actual birth happen though. Yuck. Seriously. That is nasty. And I can't believe that women do this without medication! Childbirth sort of turns this very wonderful female area into a war zone with things tearing and stretching and gushing stuff...ugh. Yeah, the birth itself is not beautiful. The afterwards part where you get to hold the baby and love it? That's beautiful. But the actual squishing out of the body part is not something I want to watch. So I'll be standing up by her head and not with a miners helmet between her legs. I'll let the doctors do their work and I'll see the baby when he's out. That's how Nat wanted it to be anyway because she wasn't too excited to have me watching. She was worried it would gross me out and make me pass out since I don't do well with medical things or hospitals in the first place.
But we also got to tour the birthing room where we'll have the baby. It's really nice! It's like a hotel room and not a hospital, and I think it'll put me at ease just as much as it will her. We're keeping our fingers crossed for a nice smooth uneventful relatively pain free delivery. Preferably on time and not too overdue. But I guess the baby will come whenever he's ready right? But it would be a nice birthday present...
So that's all that's been new with me lately. We're just getting ready for this big day, and every little false contraction (she has a lot of those) makes me start looking at my watch to time them. Because you just never know. We were told that the baby is about 5 1/2 pounds now, so pretty much any time between this week and two weeks after the due date, he could arrive. We're a little bit overzealous and overcautious because last night we really thought maybe she was already in labor. She was having pains while we were walking around the bookstore, and they wouldn't stop. So we started timing them and went home, and after about 2 hours, they never got closer together than 7 minutes and then they just went away. False alarm! I guess it was just too much walking around...but one of these days soon it'll be the real deal!
I'm excited. I can't wait to meet him...
evil_twin posted on May 25, 2009
| views: 379
Comments
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uniquely-ironic said on May 25, 2009....
I'm excited for you both. It's been a priviledge to watch this story unfold through your eyes, and your little guy will be the icing on the cake. -
Mr_Box said on May 25, 2009....
hey i found this 20/20 segment about orgasmic childbirth...lolso i guess it is a real experience for some lucky women...but not any women i've ever met!i'm glad your getting so excited though. it's gonna be fine. all of it. and i'm sure you'll have your awesome birth story to tell here soon enough. i'm ready to meet him too! -
queenparanoia said on May 25, 2009....
holy shit...
they were naked????????
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...
anyway i hope natalie will have a safe delivery and what a wonderful birthday present it would be!!! ;-)
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RollingC said on May 25, 2009....
Childbirth is one of the most significant experiences that humans can have I think.Rc -
Hegemone said on May 25, 2009....
How exciting that this special event is so near for you guys! I can't imagine what you all are going through as I've never had children, but it's interesting seeing your viewpoint ... maybe something to keep in mind when we get around to it. Personally I already know, lol, I want drugs, and I'm not doing any of that hippie crap. That just sounds entirely creepy, lol. Here's to a healthy and happy delivery for you two! -
the_infernal_optimist said on May 25, 2009....
Well, what a relief to know that you won't have to streak around the birthing room, huh? :-p
I can't believe it's coming up! I hope the little guy makes his appearance right on your birthday. :)
~Infernal
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MsStar39 said on May 26, 2009....
I don't blame her, take as much meds as possible to ease the pain, won't be long now. -
travelr712 said on May 26, 2009....
my god! those two years seem like a lifetime, don't they?the one thing i can tell you about childbirth kyleyou'll be born again too. -
Twylarants said on May 26, 2009....
You're too funny, Kyle. Naked and orgasmic? Damn, I did it all wrong, then! The best thing about childbirth in the old days was the 3 or 5 days of rest you got in the hospital while someone else brought you food and took care of the baby. Plus, your stitches stopped itching before you had to walk around in public...lol. Now they throw you out 45 minutes later!
Here's a tip from an old pro:
The new grandparents can make your life a whole lot easier in the early days if you let them. Some new parents might feel resentful if one or both Grandmas take over, but since I wasn't blessed to have that kind of help, I say let them do as much as they're willing to do even if their ideas don't jibe with yours. It'll make for a much easier transition from the two of you to the three of you. Take all the help you can get.
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evil_twin said on May 26, 2009....
uniquely--Thanks for sharing in our happy moment :-)
Jack--I watched that video and some of the clips were very similar to the video we already saw! That's too funny. I have never heard of such a thing before, but I'm guessing not that many women enjoy the experience quite that thoroughly :-P
queen--Yep, some people apparently like to be all naked during this process. Maybe I can see the woman being that way, but why would I have to be? :-P Weird!
Rc--I hope our experience is that good...
hegemone-- Thanks :-) And yeah, I don't think we're going with the hippie crap either. Drugs were invented to make this process easier so she's gonna use them!
Infernal--God if she wanted me to be naked during this I would die. Maybe if we were doing it at home, but the last thing I want to worry about are doctors and nurses staring at me! Fingers crossed for a birthday appearance...
MsStar--Yeah, I'm pretty sure she'll be utilizing everything they have available..
Trav--I can't really remember my life that clearly before she came along, so that's a good sign right? I'm excited for this next step...
Twyla-- I think a lot of people did it wrong since I've never heard anyone think childbirth was orgasmic either :-P I think we get to stay in the hospital 24 hours afterwards unless there were any complications. It does seem soon, huh? I'm pretty sure that we'll be getting lots of help from the grandparents and we're not opposed to letting them help! (at least I don't think so yet...depends on if they drive us crazy or not :-P )
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fragglesrock said on May 26, 2009....
i'm so excited for you! i think that once you are there you might not be as squeamish about it as you are predicting :)
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secretlife said on May 26, 2009....
i had 1 c-section, and they wanted to put a mirror down at my feet----a really really BIG mirror so that i could watch the 'action'-
i said, "no thanks"-
i couldn't even watch the movie of that.
they asked me for the vaginal deliveries if i wanted a mirror too.
i said, "no thanks"-
i did say YES to all pain meds offered. By the 2nd child i knew exactly how/when to request the epidural!
Good luck to both of you.
I know you're going to do just fine, have great stories to tell (everyone does!) and be in awe of this miracle about to happen to you.
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vacantmind said on May 26, 2009....
I can't wait to hear about the next journey of your lives.
Hippie births are scary. Natalie is a smart woman choosing the drugs. I have never witnessed or experienced an Orgasmic birth and I have had 5 kids! I kept the drugs close by for each of them and used them when necessary.
Good luck on the birth of your baby. It is an awesome experience. Not so much the birthing but, seeing your child for the first time.
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Lucytorial said on May 26, 2009....
Tee he he the way you explain the yuk of the actual birth. When my sis went into labour she was screaming like a banshee, they had her on a bed to examine her and her waters broke fair across the room hitting one of the nurses in the face ! BWAA HA HA HAYou'll be fine, Nat I am sure will go through with flying colours. Thats some baby btw, over 5 pounds?Good luck ET and remain calm, hands and legs inside the vehicle at all times. ♥ *-} -
CreativeWoman said on May 26, 2009....
I'm so happy for the both of you evil twin. :-) Your beautiful baby will be here soon and I'll bet your world will feel perfect with him in it.
CW
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evil_twin said on May 26, 2009....
fraggles-- Thank you :-) I hope you're right about not being squeamish!
secret--Yeah they mentioned the mirror thing to us too but Nat said no way! She doesn't want to see what's happening either :-P And thank you. I can't wait to have more stories to tell!
vacant--Thank you :-) I'm glad she wants the pain medicine too because I don't really want to see her in so much pain. That would be hard for me too! I'm really excited to finally meet my son, now he just has to hurry up and get here!
Lucy--OMG, that story! I hope if Nat's water is gonna break it won't be in my face at least :-P Yeah they said he's around 5 1/2 pounds but he'll probably only gain another 1-2 pounds at this point. So that'll put him at about 7 pounds which is average. I'm trying to stay calm but it's hard!
CW--Thank you :-) I'm betting my world will finally feel perfect when he's here. I can't wait.
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Wish_Upon_A_Star said on May 26, 2009....
Good Luck e_t i bet you can't wait and i really bet she can't. I'm due june 7th but highly doubt i will make it much longer, theres a betting pool going around about which day and not a one of them thinks it will be close to my due date. Oh well good luck!
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evil_twin said on May 26, 2009....
wish--Thank you :-) And wow, you really are ready just about any day huh? Congratulations and good luck to you too! -
gingersoul said on May 26, 2009....
Kyle......hippie birth of my boots!......what a nutsie couple.....LOL.......
I did consider giving birth in the water though...it seemed so cool..... but since I was followed by a Navy doctor you can easily imagining that nothing like that would have ever been possible..
So i decided i wanted a c-section and epidurals as it were raining......lol....
I couldn't care less of experiencing the magic first bond between me and baby baby through pain and tears.....nah...not for me...;-p..
I scheduled my thing, i went to the hospital, they broke my water and the rest is history.....yes, something went dramatically wrong in the process but i don't want to scare you..so leave it there..
Everything ended up perfectly.......and so it will for Nat...
Can't wait to see your beautiful baby's pictures...bet he too will look like Dane Cook.....lol..
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evil_twin said on May 26, 2009....
ginger--You were able to choose whether or not to have a c-section? I've heard of people doing that, but our doctor doesn't do that unless it's medically necessary. But it would be very nice to at least have a definite day so you know when it's happening! And I'm sorry that something went went, but thankfully it turned out okay. But yeah, don't tell me what happened because I'll just freak out more! I can't wait to have pictures to show off either, and I'll let you be the judge whether or not he looks like Dane Cook :-P -
ReaLargo said on May 28, 2009....
Ive never read you before but i really like the sligh humour that you use.Keep it up and good luck with youre son. -
Battycat said on Jun 17, 2009....
OMG - Congratulations, I'm so pleased for you both.You made me laugh out loud describing the hippie couple :-DAll the best for the big day. -
husbandhater said on Jun 28, 2009....
Hey Evil Kyle I'm looking for my birth announcement from you an dnat since your birthday past. Is she overdue dude? You can't keep us in suspense of lil Evil and Nat. Please just a tid bit to complete the love story. -
evil_twin said on Jun 28, 2009....
HH--Sorry I haven't posted anything up yet. I did leave a short unofficial announcement inside the birthday post Destiny put up for me. But just real quick, the baby was born on June 23rd at 11:39am. He weighed 7lbs 3oz and was 18 inches long. It was an emergency c-section and there were a few problems, but everyone is doing well now :-) -
gingersoul said on Jun 28, 2009....
KYLE!!!!!...Congratulations!!! Give a big hug to Nat for me...{hugs}
You can't sneak in like this..go and write your more than waited post about your baby plus pictures, please.......:-D
I am very happy everything ended up well.
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moonriver said on Jun 28, 2009....
i'm so glad everything went well, kyle.hey, a lunchtime arrival like me!(mama always reminded me that among the 4 sibs, i was the only one born in the daytime, and almost 12 noon too, like your baby)congrats to nats and to you... :-) -
secretlife said on Jun 28, 2009....
Congratulations to both of you.
I'm so happy everyone is doing well.
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UnicornForm said on Jul 15, 2009....
i almost passed out just reading this post...i shall never have a youngin, you got something there i dont... -
UnicornForm said on Jul 15, 2009....
i almost passed out just reading this post...i shall never have a youngin, you got something there i dont...
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