My boss assigned me to write something about the Hayden Kho sex video scandals. Give me an in-depth article, she said. Give me something hard-hitting. And she gave me only a  day or so to write it! Now I am wading through the hundreds of links on the internet trying to make sense of the issue and I am beginning to have a massive migraine.

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In a nutshell, the whole thing can be stated this way:

Prominent beauty doctor (i.e., cosmetic surgeon) to the stars meets a handsome, promising young doctor half her age. She made him part of her thriving beauty business and wanted him to meet her daughter, who is his age, but he pays court to her and she ends up falling for him instead, despite her friends' misgivings. Their love affair becomes much publicized and young doctor becomes part of the celebrity circuit, even participating in a prominent celebrity music contest and doing some minor TV roles aside from being one of the models for the beauty clinic.

Young doctor always (saccharinely) professes his love and undying devotion for his older partner (who doesn't look all that old because she is quick to use her own beauty treatments on herself); both are quick to dismiss any rumors or speculations that they might be having trouble.

One day, surprise, surprise, the entertainment world is "shocked" by the announcement that they have parted ways. Rumor was because of a third party, a young, beautiful girl who just happens to be considered the country's hottest woman. Then, rumor was that older partner had instigated the breakup because, le gasp, she found sex videos of him and hot chick on his computer. Hot chick admits an affair, young doctor vehemently denies. Hot chick gets mad at him for being a jerk, young doctor instead attempts suicide, with a note still professing his love and devotion to older partner.

Just when the hullabaloo has died down and the May-December lovebirds have begun to be seen in public again, the vehemently denied videos turn up on the internet, and ZOMG! hot chick is not the only girl he was "dancing" with. So hot chick files a case, and the whole country jumps on him for his jerk-ish behavior.

Cut to present.

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I was shocked, indignant, and I admit, more than a little queasy over this news. Lately though, thinking over the matter, I think it's a case of my chickens coming home to roost when I least expect them.

Unless you are the exhibitionist type who doesn't mind whether the whole world sees you doing the lambada in your birthday suit, many women prefer to keep their intimate relations, well, private. It is one of a woman's worst nightmares to be caught in flagrante delicto or on record in a compromising situation, and the paternalistic morality of many societies only exacerbate the embarrassment and guilt they end up feeling. Hell, I'm not even comfortable being kissed in public view. I can't imagine what I would do if I ever ended up sleeping with someone and then found the evidence bannered all over the place the next day. Jump into the Pasig River and die of being eaten alive by janitor fish, maybe, after I killed the culprit with my bare hands.

That was a big part of my indignation. Whatever goes on in the bedroom should stay there (usual exceptions apply, chacun a son gout, so all you people with different views as to sexual liberation shouldn't jump on me). Young doctor had violated that gentleman's code "thou shalt not kiss and tell."

But then he is pretty immature. He keeps denying everything even when the evidence is slapping him in the face, and keeps foisting the blame onto other people. During the initial breakup, he as good as said that hot chick was a liar, that she was telling tales, that he had never been unfaithful to older partner, just before his corny suicide attempt. Now he is even attempting to blame the leaking of the videos on older partner, saying that she was the only one who had a copy.

Hot chick turns out to be considerably more mature than him, she says "I fell in love. I know it was wrong. And I turned out to fall in love with the wrong guy." Now she wants him to go to prison to teach him a lesson.

So where was I? Ah, chickens coming home to roost. My thoughts immediately flew to: What if HH2B did that to me? What if we got intimate and then the next thing I knew, all of his friends knew about it? Or what if he got intimate with someone else and then flaunted it to my face? That would be the part where I jump into the Pasig River and die of being eaten alive by janitor fish, maybe, after I killed him with my bare hands. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, of course, but considering some of his boorish behavior in times past, I wouldn't put it past him either.

That old age gap between us begins to grin wider when I think about it. I remember his past behavior, where he would alternately ignore me to death and then suddenly hug and kiss me as if his life depended on it. It was as if he was fighting something. If I were vainer, I'd say he was fighting his feelings for me because he thinks we don't belong together, yet when I am around him for a long period of time, he'd end up succumbing to the urge to hug me anyway.

Do men who are attracted to older women who are more successful than them feel like that? Do they eventually end up feeling intimidated by the woman, feeling as if their male egos have been beaten down, loathing themselves, and transferring that loathing to the woman until they end up both loving and hating her, both adoring and wanting to hurt her really bad?  Or am I just wrong and young doctor just had a really fucked-up mind, forgive the pun?

I don't want him to hate me. Neither do I want us to end up like young doctor and his older partner. :(