I was job searching online for my mother today when I came across an ad for disabled people. It mentions job training that's free. It mentions other good things too. I know that I am waiting for a response from Social Security, but......I'm bored here sitting on my ass all day. If I can psychologically hurdle over the fear of people reading my mind and poking fun at me while I'm on the job, then I'd be fine. Supposedly no one is reading my mind anyway. I don't know whether I believe that considering it sure has seemed very real to me. Another thing that would be good about this is the difference between me handling my own money and someone else handling it. I have to weigh out the pros and cons. I have to also make sure that my temper is in check before I start working again. I can't do that until I am stabilized on medicine that I have to wait a month for. We'll see what happens. I would like to feel independant again. I know that people have been against that fact or they wouldn't have been harassing me this whole time causing me to look fucking paranoid. I'm just glad that it isn't everyone messing with me. Maybe I will be able to function a little better when I'm on the new mood stabilizer. Maybe I won't throw it up. It sure would be nice if I could work again. I would feel useful again instead of worthless.
Comments
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pusscat said on May 20, 2009....
You definitely deserve being able to access that training. You have never hidden behind your illness and screamed, hey I'm disabled, give me a break but at the end of the day it has been dibilitating for you. You have fought and struggled your way through (proud of you for that hun). The fact that you are so aware of your temper can only be a good thing. i've been learning a few things latey about keeping my anger and emotions in check. Not always easy but i just keep thinking about my last post and the comments and it reminds me to really think about how I want to react to something. It's really working so far too :-))
I hope the mood stabilizer works for you too but, if it does make you feel sick, you get back there and get them to try another one cos there will be one that is right for you. One thing i will say is that you are far from worthless. You are as valuable as any mountain of gold or diamonds in fact more. You are unique, irreplaceable. You are you.
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darkerthanlight said on May 20, 2009....
That was sweet pusscat. Thank you. -
pusscat said on May 20, 2009....
You're always welcome :-) -
satanx said on May 22, 2009....
GOOD 'LUCK' TO YOU.
[[ 666 ]]
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darkerthanlight said on May 24, 2009....
Thank you Satanx. Right back at ya.
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