a harsh life lesson learned....while playing dodgeball
friday night the kids and i participated in a parents vs kids dodgeball tournament.
i know, i know, fraggles? dodgeball?
trust me, i didn't go willingly, it took a whole lot of sad eyes and pleading from my boys to get me to participate...
i'm not a particularly active person and the thought of me dodging balls that were being hurtled at me did not sound like the relaxing weekend kick off i had in mind.
i eventually relented and in my mind i thought...
"this won't be so bad..." "i bet i'll be all matrix with my cat-like reflexes"
pffft.
when i picked up the boys on friday from school one of the teachers looked at me in my cordoury pants and brown sandals and said "you ARE going to change clothes before the game aren't you?"
huh? my brown sandals are comfy.
"trust me," she said "you're going to need to wear tennis shoes for this" then she giggled.
"for cripes sake, this isn't a REAL game, it's just a buncha kids" i grumbled as i tied up my sneakers.
fast forward to game time....
as we prepared for the first game all the parents were lined up against one wall facing all the kids lined up against the other. i looked at all the sweet little faces, little boys missing their two front teeth, little girls with piggy tails and cute little freckles....i was feeling really bad, i didn't want any of them to get hurt....
pfffft.
ROUND 1...
the second the starting whistle blew the previously mentioned little angels transformed in front of my eyes into blood thirsty savages, battle cries exploding out of their little lungs as they rushed toward us, the helpless, old, out of shape, parents...
1,2,3,4,5....they picked us off one by one, the game was over before it even began.
kids - 1 parents - 0
after the initial beating we tried to fight back.
it was brutal.
i shudder when i think about the things i witnessed, i won't go into ALL the gory details but just think sweaty,balding, fat, parents falling down, dodge balls ricocheting off fat beer-bellies and mom butts...i will stop now, no need for you to endure the hideous nightmares too.
i had a definite disadvantage as i have TWO kids in the gamre and they were BOTH gunning for me (along with all their friends that figured out i was the weak link)
i took the coward route and hid behind all the big dads...but that only got me so far...
when all the big dads were picked off and i had noone left to hide behind i found myself out in the open, a sitting duck, with no ball...
my 8 year old eyed me warily across the enemy line and a flicker of mercy flashed across his face as he saw how defenseless i was.
that child did something that i never thought he would do and i'm sure he'll regret for the rest of his life...
with a look of pity he checked over his shoulders to make sure his teammates weren't watching and threw me a ball...gave ammo to the enemy...i guess blood is thicker than dodge ball
why will he regret it?
cuz i picked that ball up and nailed his ass
he and i both learned something that day...
he learned that mom is ruthless
and i learned that i no longer have cat-like reflexes
