One of the things I had fun with this weekend was doing a little bit of shit stirring. I know, I should probably leave things alone, I have enough trouble, but I can't help myself. My countrified high school friend (and I do mean friend) is a black man.
So what?
Well, that's what I think too, but it's amazing how many people will stop to take a look at us when we're out in public. Even living in a largely liberal and progressive state I guess we don't fit the profile of the average couple in their minds. Some overtly, others blatantly. We made several trips out to pick up this or that throughout that day, and each time I was acutely aware of being watched. It was almost as if they wanted to see how this visual oddity worked.
Mark is a very muscular dark skinned man with a massive amounts of dreadlocks and quite frankly he looks scary if you're the type to get scared. I'm about as pale white as you can get without being translucent with what I consider to be a conservative refined dress and grooming style. (no long ornate nails, radical hairstyles, flashy makeup) I'm more likely to be mistaken for a librarian than scare anyone. So it's almost like seeing a human yin yang when we are hanging out together.
It's a lot of fun and I know he's in on "the joke". We'll play it up if we catch someone who looks shocked or confused. Hold hands, arm around waist or a hug just to see their eyes go wide. LOL
What they don't know and I do is that Mark is a very evolved man. Born of hardship and setbacks, he has worked hard to make a better man of himself than the world expects. He doesn't play by their rules, but he does consider whether his own rules are harmful to others. Spiritually he surpasses me, but is patient with my resistance to commit myself to a higher power. He's patient and supportive of his massive family (13 sibs), yet sets the boundries. Always there to help those who need his help.
Which is how we met at our bording high school 25+ years ago. He could see that I was floundering socially and emotionally and stepped in to be my friend. We talked about all that on saturday. I shared with him that my exposure to ANY minorities had been really limited until about my junior year of high school. I simply lived in a very homogenous society. I could easily have gone in the direction that many of my childhood friends went and been suspicious or afraid of people who looked and behaved differently than me. Instead, I chose to be excited that there are so many new and unexplored cultures out there for me to experience.
Another friend sent me a story about a man who found a bag of clay balls in a cave. The man walked along the beach, tossing the clay balls far into the ocean. As the bag got lighter one the clay balls broke, revealing a semi precious stone. He broke open the remaining balls and they all contained precious and semiprecious stones. Suddenly he remembered all of the balls he has tossed into the sea, thinking of them as useless objects, and he was sad at such a great loss.
I hope when people look at me that they look past the clay and see the precious stone inside of me. I hope that I will always try to see past the clay to see if there is a precious stone inside of people I meet. I know that I have met some very special stones who's plain clay exteriors did not deter me here at SC.
