I spent all my time focusing on hating you for the time we did not spend together. I never looked at how much you did for me and the time you did spend with me. I was so inappareciative and now seeing how permanant forevr is .. those months away seem so short and I would give anything in this whole world to be able to go back to the scenario i HATED a few months ago.

  You are my life and now I have nothing. This is not suppposed to be us cause we are different. I can not be mad at you cause I am the reason you are unsure about your feelings or the fact that they changed. You promised me forever and broke it but I promised you happiness and I did not deliver. I know you gave me a million chances and I wish I could have back just one to be the best woman you have ever met and go along with you on this journey. Without you everything is bleak and bland and terrible. I want to see you smile. I miss your freckles and your voice and your laugh and even arguing. I miss stability and late night talks and knowin that I had someone who would give the world for me.Why did I not see this when it mattered? I just wish that .. now that I actually see things your way and changed my perspective it was not too late. You say it is but I can not blieve you cause I still feeel as if we belong together. I do not want to know you do not feeel the same. I do not want to think of another woman with you, your mine. I am supposed to be yours forever. This is more then hurt. Eating, sleeping, being hurts me. I do not want any of this without you. Why did you give up on us. I thought we said no matter what we would make this work.You said it would be ok. It is not o k .. you are o kay and i am not. I will never be ok.