My journey out of confusion over my ex seems like it is quicky fading away. The guy I talked about in my previous post is taking me completely by surprise. I have so much fun with him and I don't think I have laughed this much in a very long time. We washed dishes at my sister and brother-in-laws house (after some very delecious chilli that my brother-in-law made) and by the time we were done we were both dripping in water and dishwashing fluid. My mom use to tell me (during my frequent night of tears) that I would meet someone who valued what I valued and cared about me for me and not what they could get from me. I never actually thought she would be right. Moms are suppose to say that stuff to their "wounded teenaged girls" to make them feel better. Little did I know that someone was out there that seemed like the male version of myself.

     My best friend is completely against us being together. If she has it her way though I will be a spenster with a bunch of cats. She blames her dislike of this boy on his past with drugs and alcohol (which he did time in rehab for). I have always been the type of person to give someone credit where they don't deserve it. Usually I am let down, but sometimes I'm not. It's so much better to get to know someone yourself instead of basing everything on what people say and think. You can miss out on some wonderful people by simply listening. Thats not such a bad thing, at least I don't think. Sure his past is crawling with some pretty bad stuff but people change everyday. Besides, it's not like I am wanting a marriage proposal tomorrow or anything. (Give me a few years.)

     What do you do though when a friend wants you to choose between their friendship and the beginning of relationship with someone you can't stop thinking about? She gave me this decision with Steven. She hated him! (Of course, she was completely right about him and I will never hear the end of that!) And I choose Steven and we didn't talk for the whole year and a half Steven and I was together. We just now got to where we were. Should a best friend have the right to make you choose? What if you miss out on the best thing of your life because of them? I hate being told what to do! Its not something I am really use to. My mom trusted me a lot when I was in highschool (of course I mostly had my head stuck in a book and on weekends I was working.) She never gave me a curfew or anything like that. At work, I am not a manager or anything but I do have a ton of authority where I am very rarely told to do anything (of course I am very good at my job and do whatever I can so I don't have to be asked). So why is my best friend trying to tell me how to live my life and who to spend my time with? And what will I choose? I don't want to loose our friendship again.