I grew up in Tucker, Georgia, but I've lived in the Bronx for the past 3 years (my university is in the Bronx). I know, I know the Bronx -- ooh scary! Well, not all of the Bronx is that bad, honestly. I go to Fordham University, and of course, live in the Fordham area of the Bronx. Yeah, there is crime, and you shouldn't be out at 3 am alone, but where is that not true?
I played frisbee today because, well, I love frisbee. On the way home (I live off-campus in a non-university apartment), my roommate/best friend and I passed this woman out on the street who was SCREAMING at this little girl who looked about 8 years old. I'm not talking 'Mommy had a bad day' screaming, but rather 'i'm going to beat the shit out of you' screaming. It was terrifying. If she was yelling at an adult I still would have been worried, let alone a little girl.
So, my roommate and I stopped. We were about 20 feet away from them, just watching. Then the woman grabbed the little girl, and we stepped a few feet forward. The woman screamed obscenities at us, and asked "why the fuck we were getting in her business" we told her we just wanted to know if she needed any help, and if everything was okay. She told us to "get the fuck away, and keep walking." We backed off, and my roommate started to walk away, but I couldn't leave. How could you leave? This woman was raging at a little child.
Eventually the girl's mother came, but the enraged woman still didn't stop. When they noticed that we were still standing there, the enraged woman came after me telling me she was going to "punch [me] in the fucking face." She said she was going to call the cops. I said "please do!" And then she decided to go back to threatening me. She was so close to me she was actually touching me as she screamed in my face. The enraged woman's two children came out, and one was almost crying saying "please don't call the cops" and the other said that "only pussies call cops" while she pulled her mother away from me.
I called the cops because I thought I was going to get the shit beaten out of me. I'm 5'5, but I've played sports all my life. I've never fought anyone, but I wouldn't hesitate to defend myself. I did not, however, want to get my face punched. She was still screaming at me while I tried to talk to the 911 dispatcher. She could hardly hear what I was saying.
Shortly after, they all dispersed. The enraged woman went with her own kids, and the girl she was yelling at eventually went with her own mother.
The whole time this was happening, there were two men in work uniforms staning about 20 feet away. They didn't do anything. My roommate says 2 Fordham guys walked by as well, and no one stopped.
How have we stopped caring? When did it become okay to treat children like trash? When did we stop being a presence of justice when we know things are not right? When did we stop caring for one another?
It's scary.
I'll say it again, but this time I beg you: Act justly, walk humbly, love tenderly. please.
maggie02mae posted on Sep 04, 2006
| views: 433
Comments
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momsrock said on Sep 04, 2006....
A tv network actually did a show on something similar last year. They wanted to see how many people would stop to help. I was shocked at how many people didn't want to get involved. It's very scary to think something can happen in the middle of so many people and no one will help.
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Mamie said on Sep 04, 2006....
i am so glad you had the guts to do what you did, and i am so glad that you weren't hurt in the confrontation. I was filling up the gas tank a few months ago and so was standing beside my car just waiting.
The screaming mom was at another island apparently filling up her car. But she was yelling at her little one in a car seat in the back. Screaming at her and ranting and raving, it was ridiculous. I heard her saying that the little girl "had her nerve" asking for something to eat"...it made me want to punch her lughts out! All I said was "excuse me"...it embarrassed her and she drove away. I prayed for the little girl.
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paidinblood said on Sep 04, 2006....
That took guts maggie02mae! Props to you!
The last point was a very good one, I have to admit.
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Marie-Jane said on Sep 05, 2006....
These situations are sad. A man was stabbed in the heart (he died) in Montreal a couple weeks ago for stopping a quarel between a man and his wife. So it's hard to say that I wish there was a balance. If my husband (he won't) were to beat me up on the street it means nobody will stop to help!
A couple months ago I was with my children at the corner store, after closing the door behind me there was yelling, like big time, and I was worried for the guy since it's right beside my house and I've been living there for 6 years now! But I'm with my children and I don't know how to defend myself, I'm sorry but I just cannot go inside to verify. I thought about myself and my children when I didn't go in.
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maggie02mae said on Sep 05, 2006....
We don't have to be heroes -- just concerned. A phone call to the police will keep you safe, and hopefully help the other person out as well. Even telling a strong-looking man what's going on.
I definitely don't think that we should necessarily put ourselves in danger...just give a little more effort, ya know? We're smart people - we can always figure out a way to help.
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Frlncwrtr said on Sep 07, 2006....
maggie02mae:
Your courage and your actions are commendable!
Before I respond to your questions, I’ll say that as I read your post a few questions came to me.
What did the child’s mother do when she arrived and the woman kept screaming at the young girl? Did she do anything to help the girl?
When the cops came, was the woman arrested?
Did the cops talk to you at all?
Over the years, I have found that most people (such as the two men in work uniforms and the 2 Fordham guys that walked by) will not voluntarily become involved in situations such as this one. But, with a little coaxing from the police, the good ones usually will cooperate.
“We stopped caring” because of the justice system, especially the laws pertaining to violence, domestic violence, and child rearing, have changed. The lawmakers have made it very difficult for most parents to discipline their children, which causes the children to grow up having lesser values than we had when I was a kid. At the same time they have allowed the criminals too many rights.
Because many of the children of today are not, the “nice little children” of yesteryear, people don’t treat them the same as they used to.
Furthermore, too many judges today, are “slapping people’s hands” for breaking the law. This, in turn makes them have less fear of the justice system, and they commit crimes against people and property much more quickly than they would have in years gone by. The new “Three Strikes laws,” do not help unless the judges enforce them.
As a result, people who are more prone to commit crime have become so fearless of the law that they have become much more violent. Hence, they treat children (as well as other adults) like trash. They have little or no regard for human life.
We stopped “being a presence of justice when we know things are not right,” gradually over the years. That is also how we stopped “caring for one another.”
I know that it is scary, so I advise you, in the future should you find yourself in a situation, such as this one, to keep a safer distance. I would still call 911, but I would make sure that I was safe also.
You stood there, with this woman in your face, putting yourself in an even more dangerous situation. Many people today carry weapons and are very likely to use them. You could have been killed! You must protect yourself, before anyone else! You cannot help anyone else if something happens to you in the process.
I do however admire your bravery and your concern for others! Where would the world be without the few like you?
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maggie02mae said on Sep 08, 2006....
The cops never came. I waited an hour, and they never showed up. By then everyone else was long gone, and I had things to do, so I went back home.
an interesting update, i walked down Hoffman the other day, and those 2 guys in uniforms were there. This time I looked to see what their shirts said. Can you guess? SECURITY. HA!
The girl's mother didn't do anything. She just stood there like a doormat.
The thing is, it was 4:00 in the afternoon, 1/2 a block from a VERY busy street. There were no less than 30 people within yelling distance, and my friend was with me.
Maybe it wasn't the safest thing to do, but shit. Is it better to see the kid on the news the next day? We are adult human beings. We have a moral obligation to protect those who cannot protect themselves. I hope I am always able to do it. If we don't live our lives being the kind of people we want to encounter in the world, nothing will ever change.
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Frlncwrtr said on Sep 09, 2006....
Wow! They never came, that is disgusting. I don’t blame you for going back home.
Security! That is something that does not surprise me.
The doormat should have her child taken away. She does not deserve to be a mother!
I understand more clearly now why you felt safe in your actions. Yes it is better to do what you did, than to see the kid on the news the next day. You are right about the moral obligation, but I was only trying to get you to see that you do not need to be seen on the news with the kid the next day.
It is true that the change has to begin somewhere, but we need to be safe as we attempt to make that change.
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StrangeOne said on Sep 26, 2006....
Maggie, welcome to the Bronx! Hah. I have lived in or near the Bronx for a long time. I understand the concern of you and others replying here, but take my word for it as a life-long resident: these incidents are unfortunately normal here, and for your own future safety, DON'T get involved. I know it sounds jaded and heartless, but you alone cannot fix a widespread social disease like this.
This is, unfortunately, extremely typical of lower class urban mothers here in good 'ol NYC. I have seen this kind of thing happen on streets, on subways, in stores countless times. In fact, I have even seen very small (3 or 4 yrs) sobbing children beaten on crowded subways. As awful as that is, people know not to get involved A. because it's pointless, and B. because they may get hurt. The security guys standing there are probably used to seeing this. They were probably shaking their heads in disbelief that you were trying to get yourself involved. The cops probably did not bother showing up because yelling at a kid is not a crime; perhaps if she was actually hitting the child they might have showed up.
Maggie, your intentions are pure, but alas will not solve this socio-spiritual ailment that has likely been metastasizing over several generations. This problem runs far deeper than anyone simply trying to stop incident could solve.
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lidstrom82 said on Jul 25, 2007....
You did all your could, maggie, and I applaud you for doing what no one else would bother to do.