youre confused
you think youre one of many
you dont understand


you know what,.....i dont understand either,......i dont
but i know how i feel, i know that i love you, i know that for almost two years now i've put part of my life on hold for you, even if i dont want to admit that
have i dated
have i been with other men
have i cared about them

youre damn right i have, but i've also pushed them as far as i can away from me anytime i feel like they would try and take youre place,.......i've refused settleing down with someone because in the back of my head, and the front of my heart, i keep tellin myself that i'm doin the right thing waitin on you to do whatever it is you are gonna do

you want to know where you stand
youre standing in your house, with your family, more miles away from me than i care to acctually calculate

you get jellous because i spend time with other boys (who i havent in the past two weeks by the way) while i sit here knowing that every night you lay down next to your wife

YOUR WIFE

you make me feel like i'm doin something wrong, like somehow i'm betraying you,.....

YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I DONT LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE ME

i'm not married
i'm sittin right here
i'm bidein my time while the world keep spinnin, and i keep gettin older,.....i'm practically fighting for my own life, by my self, when i need someone to lean on more than anything else

and you want to ask me where you stand

you stand exactly where you want to stand,.....

i love you kyle, i really really do,.....with everything i've got
i love you as much as you allow me too
i love you enough that i've never asked you to do anything, i've never asked you to choose anything, i never push you or pull you,.......i never argue with you,....i'm patience with you, but then you want to act like i'm just playing you? lets be real,....whos playin who?

you have your cake and eat it too,.......i'm the one with the short end of the stick here,.....y'all might not always get along, but when you need each other, y'all are right there
when you need ME i'm right here
when i need YOU,......i better look at the clock, figure out what day it is,......and THEN MAYBE i might text you,.....and i hold my breath until i hear back from you, and not her

you complain that i'm not sexual with you anymore, that i dont flirt with you like i used to
i'm fightin for my life kyle,....i know i dont talk about it, but i am,...even if you dont see it that way
i dont feel pretty
i dont feel sexy
i feel broken and busted up
i'm scared
i cry alot
most days its hard for me to get out of bed
i feel like my life is slippin away from me
i feel completely alone
i dont talk much about this with you, or at all with anyone,.....mostly because i feel like what little time we do have together shouldnt be spent talkin about me and my shit,.....you have enough goin on,...enough to worry about, and i do the best i can to reassure you that everything is goin to be ok,...that youre ok,......that i love you

where you stand

you paniced
you bailed on me
you made me feel like an idot that day i called you about my brother,.....i had to sit in tears, in my car, while your wife yelled at me, and then made me feel like and idiot,......AFTER you did

i know youre sorry,.....i know you can only offer up so many appologies
i've moved passed all that,....i understand why you did what you did,....and i'm still completely in love with you

BUT

maybe what you really need to ask yourself is where i stand
i'm right here

i'm standin right here
after all the crap
on hold
patience
not askin anythin of you,.....but to stop doubting me