• Sir. said on Apr 23, 2009....

  i was spanked as a kid when i did wrong.
  i did'nt learn as fast as you, i got it alot. after a while i laughed when i got spanked so my grandfather used "comfort positions" they should be called "discomfort positions", stuff like standing, arms out on one foot for a predetermined amount of time or standing in horse stance for a predetermined amount of time.
  when i was a kid we also had"the hand of doom". thats where i would say or do something wrong and my grandfathers hand would magically appear and try to go through the back of my head. that learned me real quick.
  
  as for rewards, we had an allowance that was whittled away by bad behavior or when we didn't do our chores.
  
  that was actually more usefull than corpral punishment. i would get $0.25 and my brother, who behaved and did his chores got $10.00 a week.... yeah, goes to show how well i kept up with chores.
  

• JusticeForAll said on Apr 23, 2009....

  I only had to be spanked a few times when I was a kid. I got the point the after the second time. That's what's wrong with this generation. Parents do nothing to reinforce negative behavior. I see so many kids acting out and it totally pisses me off! If I would have talked to my parents or even LOOKED at them with an attitude, I would have gotten my ass busted. I just think the law needs to understand that's why there are so many criminals today. You take away the rights of the parents to discipline their kids, and they are afraid to to anything so they ignore it. And it doesn't get better. My 12 year old niece cusses and hits her mom and grandparents all the time and they do nothing. She got in my face one day and I smacked her so har on the back of the head she was stunned. She never did that again. It's a matter of respect. You should be able to spank your kids. It's not abusing them if you just give 'em a good whack once in a while.
   
  As for rewards, my parents either let us eat out or gave us a little bit of money for doing chores each week. If they were short on money, we all watched a movie at home or something really family oriented.

• mommyof2 said on Apr 24, 2009....

  Spanked? More like a beating from stepdaddy, the kind where walking even hurt after it, we called him mr. evil, my brother got it the worst, he was thrown across the room. I do agree that kids now do need something to fix their attitudes, but I fear teaching them to hit which is what has happened when I tried spanking with my girls, so we take things away and reward good behavior, still have some respect issues, they sometimes forget whose on the top of the pyramid so I do raise my voice at times.

• ALIENated said on Apr 24, 2009....

  
  I got a few spankings when I was very young, but I got a lot of paddlings
  at school. Usually one to three solid raps with a paddle of some sort. And, 
  yes, I still remember those. I usually remember to bring my gym clothes, or
  whatever, the next time. I really preferred the finality of a spanking. A 
  couple of good licks and all was forgiven, all was well. The crime was 
  punished. End of story.
  
  Nowadays, young people cry out for discipline and do not receive it. When
  a mistake is made it has to be properly punished for forgiveness to ensue.
  People who are not disciplined wind up in prison (let the state handle it).
  
  I thought this post was about kinky spankings, by your sex partner. Just
  remember: using a feather is kinky, using the whole chicken is sick and 
  twisted.
  
  

• Hegemone said on Apr 24, 2009....

  Well, I personally will probably not wind up spanking my children, they will have other punishments though.  There will NEVER be a belt involved either.  I've been spanked with a 2x4 across the tail bone, and my husband was beat with his father's belt ... I don't see spanking in our children's future, but you never know.  At any rate, I'd rather smack a hand, wash a mouth out with soap, use proper tones and take further follow up action than resort to physicality.  If you think about it, spankings just teach you that when somebody does something wrong you can hit them.  I don't think that all spankings are horrible and whatnot, but it's just a choice I'm making because of what I dealt with.  I don't ever want to find myself wondering if my child feels about me the way I did about my father, and then my mother for "letting" it happen.  Not going to even bring that possibility up from that angle anyway.

• MsStar39 said on Apr 24, 2009....

  I was spanked and that is the only way to get a child's attention,
  They only need one or two spanking to get the message across that mom
  means business when she says no.
  I am amazed at the behavior that parent's put up with now. I saw a little kid
  kicking his mom  and her only response was please don't kick mom like that,
  I wanted to kick her myself.
  I
  
  

• starchini said on Apr 24, 2009....

  First of all: Id like to say that everyone had excellent comments and provoked many thoughts and opinions for me to chew on...

  Hege, the first thing that struck a chord in me was that you say spanking sends the message that its ok to hit people.  I think if its done irrisponsibly it might send that message.  However if a parent makes it clear that its not ok to hit, problem solved.  I think its important to teach kids-*hmm...how do i say this without it being misunderstood*-the "do as I say, not as I do" philosophy.  Kids are impressionable and its important for them to know that not everything should be imitated. I mean, whatever form of discipline is chosen you run the risk of the kid thinking its ok to do that to other people. If you ram soap down throats instead of spanking, is that really a better message to send instead of its ok to hit?  See what i mean?  So no matter the type chosen it a'course has to be clear that its not ok to do to other people...I was beat with the belt, never a 2x4 thats a bit extreme!  Jeez...I think there is a big fat line between abuse and discipline.  Some parents take it over bored...Some kids have no effects from discipline.  Phil didnt respond to spankings at all, he thought the same way ALIENated did, once the spanking was over, all was forgiven.  So phil would just think "hmm, is this worth a spanking? HELL YA IT IS" and go do whatever naughty thing he wanted.  Im gonna be up shits creek if i get a kid that thinks like that.  : P  And if other parents have kids that dont respond to discipline, they just increase the amount, they go from newspapers, to hands, to belts, to 2x4's, to real hard core abuse...So i spose its a touchy subject and parents just hafta use good judgement.  Thanks hege : )

  Alien, i agree that a good spanking is usually the most effective punishment.  All wasnt forgiven after i was spanked.  Maybe thats why it only took two spankings in my life time for me to not ever be naughty again.  After the spanking i was sent to my room and i was made to feel horribly guilty cuz my mom would usually cry and go on and on about how disapointed she was in me.  I was hoping the title would drw in a crowd : )

  Mommy of two_ I wonder how come when i was spanked i knew that it wasnt ok for me to do and that only mommies and daddies could spank bc they know when its ok and when it not ok.  The "do as i say not as i do" thing.  So sense youve opted to take things away instead of spanking does your little girl now think its ok to take things?  Im not trying to argue, but i cant help but notice the exact philosphy of spankings reinforcing violence and taking things reinforcing stealing being identical in nature.  Yup mom, sounds like youve got the discipline thing down well.  : ) Good ol'fashioned authoritative tones go a long ways : )  My dad could scare me straight with just a look. 

  Justice for all: I am in complete agreement with you.  My aunt had problem kids and when she threatened to spank they threatened to call the police on her.  After some more drama they were sent to live with my parents and they tried the same thing with my mom.  "ill spank you" "no you wont, if you do ill call the cops and you will be in jail for abusing me" my moms response "i dare you" as she got her belt out...They didnt.  : ) 

  Sir, lol, your just like Phil,  we have been trying to decide how we will discipline our kids and he thinks spanking is useless.  He says he laughed when he was spanked and it did no good.  Maybe ill incorporate the "discomfort positions" : P I musta been wrapped around my paretns fingers, cuz i wouldnt have dreamt about not doing my chores.  If they told me to do something, i did it, no questions asked. 

  Thank you everyone, youve all given me a lot to think about.  I think in general im just gonna start with the lightest forms of punishment, time outs, sitting in a corner, grounding, stuff like that and if those things dont work, the punishments will get harsher.  Hopefully I wont have to spank.  Not bc i think it wrong, i think its very useful...I just dont wanna hit my kids unless i have to : P...I hope they realize im boss and it wont have to come to that. 

• starchini said on Apr 24, 2009....

  MsStar lol, I think your right, time and time againg spankings have proven to be effective.  I too am in awe at what kids get away with.  I saw a very similar thing happen at walmart.  The kid was screaming and yelling wanting a candy bar and shaking the cart and throwing things.  The mom just ignored him and picked him up and said "no".  And he continued to wriggle and kick her and she ignored his behavior and just shook her head and looked at the line and spologized and walked off...My mouth dropped.  On the other hand some parents are completly clueless as to what is appropriate punishment and what is just fucking crazy abusive.  Another time at walmart (good place to people watch) I saw a kid walking behind his mom and he accidentally snagged her heel with his shoe.  He stopped in his tracks and the mom turned around and pushed him down to the ground (hard) and screamed "stay back!" the little kid sat on the floor stunned and got up crying walking a good 15 feet behind mom...That made me sad...

• fragglesrock said on Apr 24, 2009....

  hey star! sorry i'm late on this one...i was spanked a few times as a kid but usually all that had to happen was my dad would give me "the look" that's all it took to shape my ass up.  and the funny part is that he never did the spanking.  my mom, oh lord, she'd snatch us up by our ears for misbehaving in the grocery store, we'd whine and complain and then giggle at her which would piss her off even more! once she got so angry with us for talking about farts at the dinner table (dad was at work) she picked up the bottle of mustard and threw it across the room and it splattered on the wall.  she had crazy ass pms and we'd hide from her 3 out of 4 weeks of the month.  not because she beat us, she was just down right psycho.  she was a cryer and yeller mostly.  i was ALWAYS getting grounded though :)  hmmm...i know i'm not much help here, just laughing at my childhood for a moment.

  now with my kids...i wasn't abusive with the spankings i doled out but there were times that a swift wap to the ass was the only thing i could think to do in the moment.  i spanked both my kids.  my oldest is a gentle giant, never resorts to hitting.  my youngest is a short fuse and has no qualms with beating the bloody tar out of someone who messes with him.  so you tell me? they were both punished the same way..did i do something wrong?  probably, but as parents, we always do SOMETHING wrong here and there.  i'm sure you'll do what's right for the situation

• alabamagirl said on Apr 24, 2009....

  I was spanked very few times when I was young.  In all honesty, I deserved more!  I do think there is a difference between spankings and beatings.  I would never want to beat my child, but when other options haven't worked in the past, as a last resort I have spanked.  And I must say the behavior was not repeated.

• crybabylu said on Apr 24, 2009....

  I was spanked and grounded.  I did better with grounding.  When something is taken from you that you like or like to do.  It always worked with me.  Spanking didn't.

• darkerthanlight said on Apr 24, 2009....

  I got spanked alot.  I remember having the mole on my ass ripped off from the belt buckle when I was in third grade.  Yeah, I got hit alot.  I guess I was a bad kid.

• starchini said on Apr 24, 2009....

  Fraggles, i responded to your comment hours ago and came back when i saw others commented and my comment to you didnt show up!!!  Grrr...im impatient when it comes to rewriting...so..let me just tell you that i shared two of my walmart experiences and said uve done a great job with your kids and that i agree with you and a few other things too : P  ...

  I agree alabama, there is a dif between spanking and beating. one being, beating sounds much worse and indicates a blunt object i think, i picture a caveman with a bat sorta deal.  And i picture a mom bending her kid over and giving a swift slap to the bum as a spanking. 

  crybabe, i didnt respond well to grounding, mostly bc my parents had trouble sticking to it, they would forget and a week being grounded was more like an hour...  : P  id be at a friends house for hours when my mom would call "wait a minute!  I just remembered your grounded, get back over here!"

  Darker than light, lol, i guess spankings just didnt work with you, what do you think would have prevented your naughty behavior?  I cant imagine how painful it would be to have a mole ripped off...maybe not that aweful, cuz your were naughty again and again : P 

   

   

   

• curezilla said on Apr 26, 2009....

  I was a good kid and was never spanked!

  Have you heard about the SWINE FLU PANDEMIC!?

  The true story is on my site. This is bad stuff for everyone!

• starchini said on Apr 27, 2009....

  curezilla...what then did your parents do other than spanking to keep you in line? 

• PDeverit said on Sep 17, 2009....

  Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE: Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit. Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit. I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do. There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals: Plain Talk About Spanking by Jordan Riak, The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children by Tom Johnson, NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D. Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. "Because the buttocks are so close to the genitals, and so multiply linked with sexual nerve centers, slapping them can trigger powerful and involuntary sensations of sexual pleasure. This can happen even in very young children, and even in spite of great, clearly upsetting pain." - Excerpt, The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children, by Tom Johnson. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc that can easily be found by doing a little research on "spanking". Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea: American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Center For Effective Discipline, PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals, Churches' Network For Non-Violence, Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps, Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children, United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. In 26 countries, child buttock-battering is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

• starchini said on Sep 18, 2009....

  P..........That is the single most rediculous thing ive ever heard.  Spanking a kid being considered sexual abuse....My gawd that is a big leap from logical. 

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