• secretlife said on Apr 20, 2009....

  hey star?  don't look any more-
  i have 3 kids-  if it was that bad, women would stop at 1.
  take the epidural and all will be fine.
  and the day after you'll be telling everyone your labor story!

• starchini said on Apr 20, 2009....

  I keep thinking that exact same thing secret.  Why in the world would you have so many?! lol...  I think im done after one.  I really wanted to keep shooting for a girl, but dang, boys are cool.  Im good with one boy...I dont need a girl  : /  One is enough...Im not too young to get my tubes tied...

• bluegum said on Apr 20, 2009....

  Agree with sectet here ,too much and you think about one side of kids only .as we say you'll be jake star,o b t w did you know that cows eat the afterbirth after calveing if there out in the paddock ,aanndddd i read of some people cooking and eating the afterbirth after the birth, true i kid you not, interesting stuff.blue.

• Hegemone said on Apr 20, 2009....

  You know, I never even thought about there being child birth videos on YouTube, but hey, they have everything else, why not that.  I agree with the idea not to watch them anymore.  You'll just scare yourself and get more hyped up.  Girl, you will be fine, you're strong, you can withstand a lot, and this will be the same.  It'll go smoother than you even think it will, after ward you'll be thinking 'What was I worried about?'  Heh, and keep in mind I've never had children, so I am just trying to give you a positive pep talk ... I realize that I don't know what I'm talking about, lol.

• MsStar39 said on Apr 20, 2009....

  secret said it all, stop looking at that and remember that everyone is different, I have one friend that experienced no pain. You have a choice of getting the epidural.

• hotaka said on Apr 21, 2009....

  I kept wondering when my wife would start with the real pain. She would pant furiously and try to maintain her breathing rhythm while I did my best to do the massage techniques they taught us at the clinic. Next thing I knew she was going in for a C section because the baby's head was too big or the opening was too small. I was a wreck but she came through it and we have such a beautiful baby boy that we both agree we couldn't have ordered a better kid. Later I asked her about the labour pains and she said it was excruciating. She actually wished for the natural birth to feel that release as a conclusion. So if you can give birth naturally then maybe you can be thankful to do what women have been doing since the dawn of humankind. I wish you as little pain as possible and a very healthy birth and baby.

• phoeby said on Apr 21, 2009....

  definately don't watch birth vids. it can be terrifying and cause needless worry. my son's birth was fabulous (i had an epidural of couse!). But no horror stories or anything to report!

• superbozo said on Apr 21, 2009....

  Why torture yourself with what might be. I watched my daughter born in dumbstruck awe. My hand was crushed. At the moment of the head coming out mum had me in a head lock and my face was less than 10 inches away as my littles girls head and face appeared. Baby never cried once and mum just worried about why bub was not crying. Next day some expectant mothers were walking through to see the facilities. When asked if it hurt. She shrugged her shoulders and said "yeah at times....but look at her" as she pointed to our little girl. All the future mums nodded.

  You'll do fine and then the fun really begins :)

• phoeby said on Apr 21, 2009....

  hehe... yes zactly. it's not the birth that's the hard bit. it's the sleep dep for 6 months!!!! 

• superbozo said on Apr 21, 2009....

  Sleep dep....oh don't remind me. I'm tired just thinking of it.

• phoeby said on Apr 21, 2009....

  :) 
  
  
  sorta stays lodged in the memory cells 4EVER doesn't it. lol.  

• Twylarants said on Apr 21, 2009....

  It's just the fear of the unknown, Star.  Like Secret said, no one would have more than one if it were that bad.  Get the epidural, you won't miss anything except the pain, and the second the baby is born whatever discomfort you have, if any, is over.  I slept through most of my labors.  Yeah, it's uncomfortable, but I've suffered more going through root canals than childbirth.
  I mentioned going natural to my doctor with the first one, (it was the early seventies and I was a hippy...lol), and he thought I was crazy.  As a matter of fact, I think he actually said, "What are you..crazy?"
  You'll sacrifice enough for the little bugger after he's born.  Natural childbirth is asking way too much!
  

• anna.lucia said on Apr 21, 2009....

  I don't think you're supposed to be seeing it that way. Video gives you a perspective that you won't be seeing unless you're a girafe... I've been thinking about having a child and how scary it is - I imagine it the way you describe it here. It seems like the most horrible thing in the world to do! My husband says a pregnant woman is the most beautiful thing - I'd like to see him do it- whoos! He wants to have a child but when I think about going through the process I scream in my head - Hell to the NO! Sorry I'm not helping much...but thinking too much and dwelling on the childbirth like this does terrify. Try to think of something nice. You seem to be almost there and you WILL get through it. I've known women who had natural four times. You will get through it and once you recover will be fine. Next we'll read how relieved you are when it's all over!

• anna.lucia said on Apr 21, 2009....

  I don't think you're supposed to be seeing it that way. Video gives you a perspective that you won't be seeing unless you're a girafe... I've been thinking about having a child and how scary it is - I imagine it the way you describe it here. It seems like the most horrible thing in the world to do! My husband says a pregnant woman is the most beautiful thing - I'd like to see him do it- whoos! He wants to have a child but when I think about going through the process I scream in my head - Hell to the NO! Sorry I'm not helping much...but thinking too much and dwelling on the childbirth like this does terrify. Try to think of something nice. You seem to be almost there and you WILL get through it. I've known women who had natural four times. You will get through it and once you recover will be fine. Next we'll read how relieved you are when it's all over!

• anna.lucia said on Apr 21, 2009....

  I don't think you're supposed to be seeing it that way. Video gives you a perspective that you won't be seeing unless you're a girafe... I've been thinking about having a child and how scary it is - I imagine it the way you describe it here. It seems like the most horrible thing in the world to do! My husband says a pregnant woman is the most beautiful thing - I'd like to see him do it- whoos! He wants to have a child but when I think about going through the process I scream in my head - Hell to the NO! Sorry I'm not helping much...but thinking too much and dwelling on the childbirth like this does terrify. Try to think of something nice. You seem to be almost there and you WILL get through it. I've known women who had natural four times. You will get through it and once you recover will be fine. Next we'll read how relieved you are when it's all over!

• Twylarants said on Apr 21, 2009....

  Lol, Annalucia.  If men gave birth the human race would become extinct.

• pickersplock said on Apr 21, 2009....

  Speaking as one who has had both the epidural and natural childbirth.........well there's good and bad to both.
  First and foremost there is the pain, and anyone who's comparing it to an orgasm obviously is having some pretty weirdo sex, if you ask me!
   
  The truth is, and this is gross, but it's like the biggest BM you've ever had.
  If you've ever had a stomach virus, that's what cramps feel like.
   
  Now after feeling pain like you've never felt before, you will beg for them to stick a large needle in your spine.............on the other hand you could just go with it, if you can stand it because you feel like the Queen of the universe after.
  I'm not kidding, I was up and around and making myself snacks.
   
  I should tell you that I had natural childbirth with my second because I felt like a million bucks until hard labor started and then it was too late to get the epi in.
   
  That being said, try not to watch those videos anymore! :)

• fragglesrock said on Apr 21, 2009....

  eh, i should send you a copy of my birth video with my oldest, it was a breeze, i made it look easy, but i spose you wouldn't particularly relish seeing my hooha :)

• anna.lucia said on Apr 21, 2009....

  star, sorry about the multiple posts....didn't mean to!

• vacantmind said on Apr 21, 2009....

  It doesn't matter how much it hurts something in our brains tells us within hours of childbirth that it wasn't that bad. You forget the pain rather quickly...which is why we get sucked into having more than one child.
  There is enough options in pain management that you can have a relatively pain-less delivery.
  

• starchini said on Apr 21, 2009....

  Blue, yea I have even read that some women in third world countries eat the afterbirth without even cooking it.  Pretty flipping disgusting if ya ask me.  Ewwww...I guess im glad im not required to do that : )

  Yup hege, you can find virtually anything on youtube.  I hope your right : )  Good pep talk, it helped : )  Im tough, im tough, im tough, hege said so, im tough, im tough. 

  MsStar, i dont know what scares me the most, the epidural, or the pain.  I want as little pain meds as possible because i want to be of clear and sound mind when i first hold my baby.  I partly think that the pain will make me appreciate this life ive created that much more, i fear no pain would make the experience meaningless, so in a way, i want the pain...but not too much : P

  That exactly right hotaka, i feel like the pain would be the accumulation of it all and when it was over i could feel that sweet erlease of "ive done it, i have a baby now, the worst is over"...I would like to have a natural childbirth, the pain meds if i decide to have any will be minimal. But im still scared. Thanks so much for the good wishes!  Bless you and your beautiful baby and family : )

  Phoeby, do you remember it all?  Ive heard many women say that it all was very "blurry" bc of the epidural.  That they were all stoned the first time they met their baby...

  Superbozo, i guess im just a glutton for punishment.  lol, yes im worried my Phil wont survive labor : P  Thats awesome that your wife was such a trooper : )

  Twyla, ive never had a root canal...I hear dental work sucks, but ive never done anything but a cleaning.  Im cavity free!  :) The idea of natural childbirth is very cool in theory, but yes the pain frightens me and bc im so undecided, (im a hippie too!) my doc agreed that we will play it by ear and have the pain meds on stand by : ) 

  lol, thats ok anna, i prefer honesty to smoke up my ass : P  It does seem like the stupidest thing to purposely do to yourself...but i spose its all worth and i guess everyone is right, if it was that bad, people would never have a second.  Thanks for the support : )

  Pickers, I swear to God some women have had orgasms during natural childbirth.  Go to youtube and in the search box put "orgasmic birth" and there are tons of documented videos of women in a euphoric trance during childbirth and actually claim they came to climax.  Pickers, big poops hurt like hell, i hate'em.  So youve had both and you would recommend the epidural then? 

  Fraggies, i bet youve got a beautiful hooha, before ya had kids : P j/k.

  Vacant ive been told that pain has the shortest link with memory.  People rarely remember pain.  Phil and i have completly missed the boat with these "pain management options", im not sure why.  All the classes ive looked into where hours and hours away, the hospital im delivering at has a childbirth class only once every so many months.  Ive finally enrolled in one on May 2nd, i just hope im still pregnant at that time.  : /

• phoeby said on Apr 21, 2009....

  hi starchini,
  
  
  nahh, epidurals don't make you dopey. they make you cold though (shivery). pethedine i think makes you dopey. i was fully alert.
  
  
  i remember every part of it. um...there was an hour or two where it felt like nothing was happening and then it all started happening. 
  
  
  i dont think i could've done it without an epidural. the pain is intense. and my pain threshold thingy blew a foo-foo valve. but you do hear of women putting up with it. ijust don't know why they would though. iykwim? why do it uncomfortably and horrendously when you can have a fabulous experience? (personal opinion though).
  
  
  love phoeby

• starchini said on Apr 22, 2009....

  
  A lot of women argue that the natural way is the fabulous experience way...I think this is why im having trouble decidin on how to do it, there are just so many different opinions on how to do it.  Half say "get the epi, its great, why go through the pain?", the other half says "do it natural, itll be the most empowering amazing experience of your lifetime"...hmm...Thats interesting that you say you were fully alert, did you have the "walking epidural".  I guess that is the "diluted version" of the actual epi.  It give pain control but allows you to participate.  I was actually in the delivery room of a friend when she was having her baby.  It was an accident, i guess the hospital she was at had an open door policy.  I got a call she was in labor and went to her room expecting to see a baby and she hadnt had it yet. But I walked right in and no one said a word.  She had a full on epidural.  She barely knew who i was, was joking around and laughing hysterically, she was incredibly loopy and in no ones opinion would have been considered "all there".  So maybe it human eraction to epidurals is a case by case basis.  That makes it even harder for me to decide...

• pickersplock said on Apr 22, 2009....

  Well, I wouldn't recommend either actually.
  You have to go with your gut.
   
  If you know you can't stand pain, get the epi.
   
  I didn't ask for it until it was too late the second time.
   
  But, if you can stand the pain and your labor isn't 28 hours like my first, don't get it because you'll feel a whole lot better afterwards.
   
   

• vacantmind said on Apr 22, 2009....

  I took a wait and see approach. I found that no matter how much planning you did, it usually went a different direction than you intended. Just be open-minded. I started with a natural delivery (no meds) but after 21 hours and still not dilated I went for the epidural. The epi won't make you drowsy. There are some narcotics that they give that will. You should definitely know your options but, don't rule anything out.

• phoeby said on Apr 23, 2009....

  hey chick, no as far as im aware all epidurals are anesthetics that block the lower half of your body. they don't interfere with consciousness or wakefulness. they block the nerves and whatevers from about your boobs downwards. you can't feel your legs and you can't walk around because you don't feel the lower half of your body. but you can talk, think, look around do all the normal things.
  
  
  the reason your pal could've been out to it was bec she may have already had some other form of drug prior to the epi being inserted. that hadn't worn off yet. Or she might have just felt a bit dopey because of stress or expectation etc.
  
  
  maybe if you google it, you can find out more. but a natural birth wouldn't be for the feint hearted.  i would assume that someone opting for that would already be able to meditate deeply and um........... be sort of able to almost trance or be in a semi-conscious state very very easily under normal situations. so that when the pain hits, you can apply those principals to what you are experiencing. if you are just the average person doing your thing, and have no experience with mind work or meditation or getting into altered states, how on earth will you be able to do it when you have more pain than you've probably ever experienced in this lifetime, that could last for hours and hours? it's utterly exhausting im told (when people opt for natural birth and it drags on for hours... it can put the baby and the mother at risk also in certain circumstances and those people sometimes end up having an emergency C-section when the long drawn out experience could have been avoided)
  
  
  just some thoughts.
  
  
  love phoeby
  
  
  
  

• starchini said on Apr 23, 2009....

  Phoeby:

  That very well coulda been my friends case...However, im gonna go ahead and disagree with natural child birth being more dangerous, I think its more painful, but no more dangerous...  Assuming the woman is in the hospital: My doc told me he didnt want me to be  under a full blown epidural because this is my first time.  And your absolutly right about not being able to feel anything at all below the belt, thats what makes it more risky.  Apparently, being numb down there makes it next to impossible for the mother to know when to push, not only to know when to push but to know how to push.  With no sensation at all shes either gonna blow her ass out pushing like crazy non-stop, or shes not gonna push at all, or not at the right time etc...But there are people there to help with that part. 

  While on the other hand, a completly natural childbirth also could back fire, the mom could be in too much pain and refuse to push or something like that...But in general im told that for first time mommies its best to atleast have some feeling, so that you know what your doing and when...I doubt ill go natural, ill have some form of pain management, but im not gonna go all the way either. 

  The idea of not being able to feel anything down their and having absolutly no control of my body almost scares me more than the thought of extreme pain...Plus, moms go natural all the time, not by choice, but its usually a time factor "oh God the baby is coming NOW", im sure many of those moms have no mental tricks in their pockets and just go through it.  I dont know Phoebes the more we talk about it, and the more i think of all the women i know that didnt have any pain meds, the more i think "hell, if they can do it, I can too"...but that doesnt mean I wanna...

  I want a happy combo of it all.  I wanna be able to walk around and breathe and go to the bathroom on my own and i want to feel my body, but I dont wanna be in extreme pain, i dont want anyone holding my legs up.  I dont want to be on my back.  I want a relaxed environment where i can listen to what my body naturally wants to do, and do it. 

  Ya know what?  The cramps and contractions dont scare me at all, its the pussy ripping open and stretching that scares me...If they could just give me a shot of local anesthetic around my pussy, hmm, i think that'll be fine...

  : >  can they do that phoebes?

  Pickers:

  That opinion reinforces what my doc recommends.  He recommended that we insert the epi needle and have it ready and on stand by, and we play it by ear and we can administer it in smaller doses as needed for pain control...He said the way it would work is that when i first get there he will give me a small epi dose that will help with the pain during the contractions and that when it comes time for me to push it will just be wearing off a bit so that im able to feel my body again and push when i need to.  He says its vital for first timers to not be completely numb.  He says most of the time c-sections are avoidable and happen bc the mother isnt participating correctly, its not her fault, she just doesnt feel anything and doesnt know what to do...He says its important to be able to feel what are bodies are telling us to do instead of ignoring it.  He has the lowest c-section rate in my area, and is one of the best baby deliverers in the state, so  i trust him : ) 

  Vacant:

  I hear you vacant and I agree completly.  Im gonna be ready for anything.  : )   

   

• phoeby said on Apr 23, 2009....

  yeah, what you said makes a lot of sense. and if you're concerned about not feeling anything down there... then an epi wouldn't be the go! i was so so lucky. i had the best gyno in the world who stood there and told me when to push and how much to push. i intuitively knew also not to push too hard but when i didn't push enough, he'd say... "just a bit more, almost there" sort of thing.
  
  
  hahaha re: the pussy local! worth a shot Lol!
  

  
  

  but yeah horses for courses and whatever works for both mum and baby is a great thing... hey good luck, when are you due? how exciting to be going through all these beautiful experiences.

  
  

  love phoeby

• starchini said on Apr 23, 2009....

  Your a natural then phoebes, to intuitively know how to push...im worried i wont be like that...im hoping my Doc is as awesome as I think he is : P  My due date is May 16th, but i think im gonna go early...just a feeling...

• phoeby said on Apr 23, 2009....

  16th May??!! wow that's only a few weeks. awww you'll be fabulous, it'll all just naturally unfold betcha.... you sound very intune also.
  
  
  it's beautiful how it all works, isn't it?  

  xoxox

• dfjkg said on Jun 01, 2009....

  This web site has some lovely births, some of which aren't as scary. Some are actually quite calm. Check it out: Http://pregnancyvideos.googlepages.com

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