Have you ever had an affair? While I am not proud about it, I have had several. One was when I was in college with a professor of a guy I was friends with. We had a lot of fun, until I realized this guy had a wife and kids waiting for him in Florida. I ended it because I felt it wasn't fair to them.
Now, for the really sordid part. I had several affairs while married. I justified it by saying he was having a longstanding affair with a coworker of his. I also found out later that what I had done was very typical in a domestic violence situation. My affairs were all men I had met online. Two were very brief..one or two dates, while one lasted about six months. I did not feel guilty about what I did because he broke the marriage vows about 5 years before I did. However, looking back, I wish I hadn't done it. I wish I would have just left and kept my values intact.
What about you?
Lovethebeach posted on Sep 02, 2006
| views: 415
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Sep 02, 2006....
an affair? no, i'm actually somewhat relieved to say no.
ed
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secretlife said on Sep 02, 2006....
they seem to be my 'thing'
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Jenna said on Sep 03, 2006....
Unfortunately..I am finding affairs are the best way to meet my needs and protect myself at the same time. I find myself in another....when I promised myself, I never would again.
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CreativeWoman said on Sep 03, 2006....
I have met someone special that I am seriously considering having an affiar with. People that know me "in real life" would never believe I've reached this point.
CW
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sea_shell said on Sep 03, 2006....
Hi its d 1st time i'm admiting & its kiling me 2 do so - YES, i did hav an afair ... Behind my beloved's back ... I cheatd on d most Wondrfl Man,i dnt knw y i'm stil Alive...it ws 4 2days,i fell 4 d temptation...nothn can justify my shameful act.
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Jenna said on Sep 03, 2006....
LtB...Are you still married?
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secretlife said on Sep 03, 2006....
Jenna it's good to see you. How was your first week back to school?
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secretlife said on Sep 03, 2006....
Jenna it's good to see you. How was your first week back to school?
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Jenna said on Sep 03, 2006....
SL...it was wonderful, thanks for asking. When I woke this morning and saw you, me and CW responding to this post. ...I had to laugh. Well ladies, the gang is all here....looks like LTB can join us!
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Lovethebeach said on Sep 03, 2006....
No, I finally divorced him in 2001. It was the best decision I ever made, although I wish I had done it years earlier. I withstood way too many years of his abuse! I wasted too many years being unhappy.
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Jenna said on Sep 03, 2006....
Are you happy now?
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Lovethebeach said on Sep 03, 2006....
Aside from being dead broke, yes. In our divorce agreement, I got a very unfair settlement...mostly because I couldn't afford a good attorney.
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itsmyturn said on Sep 03, 2006....
Yes, I have. And let me tell you it was one of the better things that have happend in my life the last year. It was the catalyst for getting me out of a marriage and home that were no longer working after 12 years. I had been unhappy for the last 6 of those, but I was determined to deal with it because I didnt want my daughter to have a "broken home". However, almost a year later, I am happy with my life and at peace with myself. I come home and there is no one to fight with, be mad at or despise looking at.
The person I had the affair with was a co-worker. And prior to us getting together, I never considered him in that way. In fact I was trying to set him up with a couple of my friends! Life has a funny way of guiding you, if you miss the signs the first few times, life will come back and slap you on your ass with one that you cant miss!
I wasnt feeling the least bit guilty about having an affair and it was a month and a half later that I moved out of the family house and got my own place. And I want to be clear, I didnt leave for this man, I left because it just wasnt working for me anymore.
So when all is said and done, I guess sometimes an affair is life trying to tell you something.
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Lovethebeach said on Sep 03, 2006....
One thing I have to say about my affairs is they helped me get the strength to leave. They built my self esteem back up. I only dated doctors, and they told me I was smart and beautiful. They made me realize that I didn't have to stay in an abusive relationship...there was a better life waiting for me.
Kudos to you for leaving. I am sure it was for the best!
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momsrock said on Sep 03, 2006....
I have. I met him at the lowest point in my life. My son was deathly ill. And this man came in, taught me how to laugh again, how to love again, the strength to make it through and then disappeared in a matter of weeks. It was the most amazing experience of my life. (Aside from the overwhelming guilt and getting sick every time I looked at my husband.)
I saw him Friday, for the first time in over a year. We didn't speak, we didn't need to. A passing glance, a wink and a smile and we went our seperate ways, again...
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Lovethebeach said on Sep 03, 2006....
Is your son better now? I hope so!
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Jenna said on Sep 03, 2006....
I cannot believe how many of us are out here.
LTB...I cannot belive your strength...God bless!
ImT...we probably could talk for days....
MR.... is your baby ok?
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CreativeWoman said on Sep 03, 2006....
I have had men who wanted to have an affair with me tell me that it could be just what I need to save my marriage. I never bought that line. I may be devious to a certain degree, but that was a little over the top for me. I turned them down.
But, like I said, there is a man in my life right now that just might become my lover. I laid my situation out on the line for him. He still is interested. So we'll see where it goes.
CW
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momsrock said on Sep 04, 2006....
He is much better now. It just put an incredible strain on my marriage. I guess that is why I ran to the first person to offer comfort!
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scalywag said on Sep 05, 2006....
I have never had an affair. I've been tempted several times....I just couldn't do it though.
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