Just a normal day at work...

 

I walked in and greeted my patient as normal.  My medical note said "Patient's wife is in hospital, very reluctant for our care."  I have been seeing this guy once a week for about 3 weeks and he always remembers me because I sport neon green nail polish.

 

I will call him Joe. 

 

Joe looked a bit glum today.  I brought up the nice weather but Joe, stroke victim and recent widower, was not very excited.  He told me that he was glad I was there that day because he remembered how I had helped him on the computer last time. 

 

To this 86-year-old man, my computer skills rank me as a prodigy.

 

"You know I lost my wife."  He had stated.

 

"I was recently told.  I'm sorry for your loss."

 

"Thank you."  He sat silent and seemed to brood for some time.

 

The next five minutes he explained to me how much he missed his wife taking care of him and how lonely he was.  He said he didn't know what to do.  He told me how he had been exploring some sites on the internet and how he had finally started to hope.  He asked me to look at them.

 

There were several windows open, a series of match.coms geared towards the elderly.

 

And then he asked me to help him fill out a profile.

 

He stated several things to me:

1) He would not be honest with anyone about his stroke until he had talked to them for awhile

2) He was going to ask the potential "mate" if they would like to move into his basement to get to know him

3) He was looking to find someone as soon as possible and was not very picky

4) He did not know how to date as he had not done so in 66 years

 

In addition to this, Joe has several children living in the same town as him.  I can't begin to imagine their reaction upon hearing their father who had been happily married for 66 years is seeking a new companion within 2 weeks of her death.

 

I politely excused myself stating I had run out of time and that I would see him next week.  He thanked me for talking with him.  I hadn't discouraged him from his pursuit.  I did not see it as my place as a caregiver to take a moral stand against him, the lonely old man.

 

I guess I'm looking for advice on the situation..what would you have done?  What do you think is right?