I've kind of been debating whether or not to share a video clip that I was finally able to get from my exboyfriend this week. To me, it's an important part of my development of self confidence and awareness. But if you haven't ever done any training be it martial arts, wrestling or other defensive arts it looks a bit (or lot) scary. Having this clip and being able to watch it again reaffirms two things for me.
I have inside of me the ability to defend myself, even when it appears I am helpless. Many of us fear (rightly so) being rendered unconscious by an attacker. We assume we will be unable to protect or attempt to protect ourselves. For some of us that's true, but we don't know until it happens to us. I was afforded the opportunity to find out which of the two I am in the safety of my dojo with my trusted friends around me. I am a fighter, even when I'm not "awake".
The second thing I learned that night was that I am much more aware of what is going on around me, even asleep, than I had thought possible. The second clip, after the choke out, is me describing what I was feeling even as I was unconscious and/or in an altered state. I heard people and I felt their presence. This makes me feel confident that my "gut" feelings are valid and should be acted on.
When you watch them, please be aware that there was a licensed doctor on site. The techniques used to revive me are hundreds of years old, but have a firm basis in modern medical science. I was not harmed at all. In fact I am still very close to many of the people you see in these clips and trust them with my life. This was a once a year exersize designed to let the students experience what happened to victims that they humanely rendered unconscious rather than inflict possible permanent damage or death to end a confrontation.
Oh, and just FYI I will delete any comments about how fat I was three years ago. LOL
