• wishyouwerehere said on Apr 08, 2009....

  I don't think you are a horrible person at all.  The innate desire to express our sexuality doesn't need to be a source of shame.  Hopefully, your new guy will be open enough for you to explore this as he becomes a little more confident in the relationship. 
   
  Even though he is a total jerk and intellectually, I know he is bad for me - I long for my ex- almost every day.   Before he awakened me, I kind of thought I could live pretty easily without sex - sort of take it or leave it.  I honestly didn't understand what all the fuss was about.  Now, I guess you can say I know what I am missing -and boy, do I miss it! 
   
  I hope everything works out for the best. 

• Brunettebmshell said on Apr 08, 2009....

  Thanks so much Wishy. I can't help but to feel a bit guilty though. It's like I'm cheating by having these thoughts and dreams.... which by the way, both go into great detail. It's just hard not being satisfied, and knowing that the person before them did satisfy... immensely.
   
  I just need to be patient I think? Just let him get comfortable and hopefully things will work themselves out. <*sigh*> Hopefully this happens sooner than later ; ) Appreciate you stopping by.
   
  BB

• Goose21 said on Apr 09, 2009....

  its great feeling horny all / most of the time... its a bit harder to get the sex  that you want.  hard rough demanding sex.
  
  Perhaps start with a little spanking.. let him spank you so that he knows yo udont mind... and dont complain if it s a little too hard.. that may make him feel a bit uneasy that he has hurt you.... what kind of things does he like ? maybe they can incorporated into any discussion .
  

• starchini said on Apr 09, 2009....

  lol...maybe if your this impatient, it might be time for "the talk"...Dont hurt his feelings though, just let him know your a nympho and want to be fucked.  He will prolly feel like the luckiest man on the face of the planet. 

• daddy's_slut said on Apr 09, 2009....

  Hi BB, I know where you're coming from! In my current relationship, we've done a lot of "exploring" sexually. It has helped immensely to have this forum to put my thoughts & fantasies down "on paper" & allow "Him" to read. It definitely opened doors for conversation & new sexual experiences, since many times it's easier to write something down than to say it at first. I doubt you want him to read ALL your posts here, but you could write one "for him" & print it for him to read. Maybe make the first one not real extreme, but write a fantasy you have that includes him obviously & things you'd like him to do. If he thinks you're fantasizing about him, it'll boost his ego a little & maybe give him the confidence to start playing rough like you want him to. Good luck!

• travelr712 said on Apr 09, 2009....

  no, you're not a horrible person. one of the things that people often overlook in a relationship is sexual compatibility. maybe you've got plenty of the other elements, openness, honesty, intimacy, shared interests, but that's a HUGE one that women especially seem to ignore in favor of a 'good provider' or whatever. now, guys can change, especially if the attraction's there. but i'd suggest that if he can't make that jump, other things in your relationship won't work for the long haul either, just like things with your ex didn't, even tho the sex was great, see what i mean?
   
  btw, if you decide to give up on this guy, i got nothin goin on right now... :-P

• Brunettebmshell said on Apr 09, 2009....

  Goose - haha, well he is a musician, loves music, is a sub teacher and sells insurance on the side.... not quite sure how to incorporate those things into sex talk.... I just feel like he is so conservative, like he doesn't know how to break the mold or boundaries of sex. I gotta find that inner nympho in him somewhere.... I just hope I can bring it out of him.
  
  star - I am being quite impatient aren't I? <sigh> I think a "talk" is in order here pretty soon. I would never emasculate or embarrass him in any way. Maybe if I start out with just asking subtle questions like what he likes done while we are making love, and hopefully he will then reciprocate and ask me questions in turn. I think if I just told him straight out that I like to be fucked.... A LOT..... then he might get even more intimidated. I don't know, I will try asking questions first, then will resort to just layin it out there ; ) Thanks star!
  
  ds - I tell him often through texts and emails while at work and not at work how much I want him, the fantasies I have and what I want to do to him when he gets home.... He plays along, but in a VERY PG manner. He is such a gentleman I believe he may think that he will offend me if he responds too directly... We will see, I need to figure this one out.
  
  trav - ugh, yes I see what you mean. But I'm not willing to give up. I think he's worth fighting for, and if it resorts to just buying a SHIT LOAD of toys and vibrators then that's what I'll do..... He is a really special guy. I think I just need to pick his brain a bit. And thanks for the offer by the way, haha.
  
  
  BB
  

• travelr712 said on Apr 09, 2009....

  ya know, sometimes the intimidation men feel isn't that they won't please a woman, it's more like, if they let their 'inner beast' out, they might not be able to control themselves, or they might do something that scares or really turns her off, and then they'll lose her. i think that conversation you layed out to star is a pretty good idea, it may get some of the boundaries more clearly in mind for both of you, and open things up for some really fun experimentation at the same time.

• TheNakedProfessor said on Apr 09, 2009....

  Ugh. You may have a dead battery on your hands. You can jump start it, but if it's weak the charge will only last temporarily.

  This dude sounds passionless. I've known women who were the same. Once after I made love to a woman (who was using me to cheat on her boring long-term boyfriend) she couldn't stop going on about my "passion." I was all over her and, as you say, alternatively rough and gentle, teasing and pleasing, licking and sticking.

  My philosophy is, do what would feel good to me. As applies to a female. Have you been aggressive with him? You might try it. Just pull down his pants and have your way with him.

  I had a GF with special needs, once. She had to wrap her legs around mine and pump to cum. She loved everything, but that's what it took to get her off. We had a good communicative relationship and were able to describe what we liked. Once I taught her the proper way to give me a hand job, using my fingers and hers to demonstrate, I never came up short again. She would alternate blowing me and handling me and she could bring about detonation whenever she wanted to. I especially enjoyed 69ing her. But I digress.

  Good sex don't come easy. And, ultimately, it only gets you through your 20s, no matter how good it is. After that, you have to get along or start paying for it. My latest post is all about your dilemma. Just fantasize for now and make the most of it.

   

• wolfafterurazz said on Apr 13, 2009....

  damn where do you live? are you close to Mobile alabama? No ur fine may I suggest talking with your boyfriend and telling him what you want......Tell him you want to be fuked down............show him how to fuk you down..........he's not a quick cummer is he?? If he is holler at ur X............Dang where are all you horny ladies at? I'd love to have a go ~wink~ bet ur ass would be Oh shit I'm not going to say it we all talk like that...............best for you to experience it.................well best of luck to you.........may I suggest a palstic friend (BOB) Battery Operated Boyfriend!!!! or look me up NO STRINGS ATTACHED.........ULTRAGASSUM..............let me make you squirt :-) WOLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

• PieterOpie said on Apr 14, 2009....

  Whether it has any basis in reality, that is, in biology or not, many men believe it is their thing to be the sexual aggressive one.  They may rave on about secret desires about being ravished by a sex-starved women and indeed some would love it; but those who do not share this fetish might prefer a more "traditional" approach in which they think they are being the active partner and the women is pathetically passive.  Remember I did not say that this is how the human animal is by nature.  I mean merely to suggest that upbringing and social bullshit can taint the attitude of people and affect the way they believe it should be in bed.  So much so that if things do not fit that expectation it can be devastatingly disarming and as in this case - perhaps - intimidating.
  
  Solution:  BB, pretend to be less interested in sex if you can contain yourself and let him take the lead.  Let him do the male thing and be all butch and macho.  LOL...  I feel like a real jerk for even daring to advise this.  I think all that macho crap is revolting, but like I said earlier, some people think that it is the way it goes.   Yes well....  I just wish people could grow up without being so thoroughly influenced by parents or society but alas.... we arrive with all kinds of ideas and misconceptions.  It can result in all kinds of fetishes and dysfunctions.
  
  Be grateful he doesn't want to crap on your boobs in order to get off.
  

• BlogTherapy said on Apr 14, 2009....

  it's not horrible to go back to your ex...after all like you said He knows what you like and want without you having to tell him.
  So why not tantalize your current b/f by cluing him in to just what you want and need.
  Who knows, he may take it as a challenge and want to dominate it.
  And we all know how much guys like a challenge!!
  

• BlogTherapy said on Apr 14, 2009....

  ***meant to write *** It's not horrible to WANT to go back to your ex or to think about him.
  
  TYPO!!! oops  : /
  
  In no way do I mean to tell you to retreat from your current relationship, b/c afterall you broke up with your ex for a reason and got together with your current b/f for a reason as well.
  
  Best of luck with you sit-itation :)
  and remember that sex isn't everything b/c eventually things go south and you need other things in common too
  

• Brunettebmshell said on Apr 15, 2009....

  trav - Well hell... I wish he would let his "inner beast" out. He wouldn't have to worry about turning me off or having to control himself. But yes, conversation is key... I just don't want it to be awkward ya know?
  
  Naked - He really isn't passionless. The last two romps have been WAY better than the ones before. Mind you, he is still recovering from major surgery and our (sexual) relationship is still very new. I think with time we will figure it out and understand what we both want and need in the sack. Thanks for taking the time to stop by! : )
  
  Wolf - Trust me... I am VERY good friends with my BOB. He has gotten me by in my times of need. And sorry, but I am strictly a one man woman. And even though I may fantasize, I will never stray.
  
  Pieter - It's funny, because the other night I didn't try anything sexual at all. I didn't even hint at it... and when I went to walk down the hall to ask if it would be ok to turn down the A/C, he came over to me, pushed me up against the wall and told me that was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard and began to make out with me. 'bout near ripped my clothes off standing in the hallway.... haha. I told him I would ask to turn down the A/C politely more often if that was going to be his response ; ) I'll try holding back and being more patient. I'll let him the the "manly-man"... blech! And very good point about the crapping on the shoes, hahaha!
  
   Blog - Haha, I appreciate the clarification. Thank you for the luck and your advice. And I am fully aware of why my ex and I are not together.... and it is definitely not a question of ever wanting to get back together with him. I think I just liked the feeling of comfortability and being able to let go and be as sexual as I wanted without holding back. (*sigh*) I'm sure my bf and I will get there. Just takes practice? haha. Thanks for your response!
  

• travelr712 said on Apr 15, 2009....

  ya bb, awkward would be bad. sometimes, when i'm being too 'gentle' with a woman, she finds something that triggers me to be a little more active, if you will. perhaps you can find his trigger?

• PieterOpie said on Apr 15, 2009....

  Well clearly I won the competition and would like my cash prize now.  What was it again?  $1000 spending money and tickets to my favourite porn flick.....??
  
  Anymore sex problems - no worries.  Pieter has the answers.  Just PM or start a thread and alert me.   ($100 per hour)
  

• Brunettebmshell said on Apr 15, 2009....

  
  Trav - Now it's a game.... I WILL find that damned "trigger" hehe
  
  Pieter - Wait a minute my friend, I said this happened a FEW days ago. You only replied 1 day ago... therefore, you SO do not win. Nice try though. And $100 per hour??? SHEESH! You're expensive! Are there coupons anywhere I can cut out?
  
  
  

• wolfafterurazz said on Apr 15, 2009....

  I wasn't going to invite any friends........I'm a one woman man too..........JOKING.....I've been married 33 yrs faithfully.........when you get to used to one woman there are not replacements..............Kisses WOLF I do like ur name.............I wanna see you

• PieterOpie said on Apr 15, 2009....

  Oh.... is that a problem?  A minor detail surely.    Oh well, better luck next time.
  
  Yes, coupons are available in my monthly magazine "So You've Gone Mad and Can't Get Laid."  and sunscription is only $585 per year.  It come with six coloured condoms with funny faces on them - they really cheer you up!!!
  
  Sorry about that hourly rate.... It was supposed to read $150 p/hr.
  

• Goose21 said on Apr 20, 2009....

  has there been any progress ?? ?
  What action plan have you decided to take ?
  
  
  

• Brunettebmshell said on Apr 21, 2009....

  
  Hi there Goose. Well, I decided to be a bit more patient. I haven't been hinting at having sex or being as aggressive as I have been in the past. I think he likes thinking he is in charge ; ) So, the other morning we woke up.. and I could tell he was feeling a bit frisky. We began kissing and touching and things were heating up a bit, but I hopped out of bed and told him I had to start getting ready. (I had my little cousin's bday party to get ready for and help set up). Well that night... he was fantastic! He was much more aggressive and I think the built up tension from earlier that day really helped. We're making progress folks! Woo hooo!!! : )
  
  
  BB
  

• travelr712 said on Apr 21, 2009....

  well, looks like you found one of his triggers :-)

• Goose21 said on Apr 21, 2009....

  some things are worth waiting for... though some men rise when the cock
  crows and it would be a shame to waste it .. x
  
  Well done... glad there is some progress.. and well done him..
  gO TIGERRRRRRRRrrrr  roarrrrrrrrrr
  

• Brunettebmshell said on Apr 21, 2009....

  Trav - Yesssss success! Haha. I'm excited to find some of his other triggers! ; )
  
  
  Hahaha, thanks very much Goose! I feel more like a cheetah though.... grrrrrrrrrr! (rolls her tongue while grr-ing) lol.
  
  Appreciate the encouragement guys. We'll see what kind of fun we will have tonight after dinner and some drinks!  *wink wink*
  
  ; P
  
  BB
  

• travelr712 said on Apr 21, 2009....

  try sucking an ice cube, then sucking him and see what comes up ;-)

• Brunettebmshell said on Apr 21, 2009....

  Bahhaha, I could only imagine ; ) I've tried that with ice cream... I must admit, lots of fun. But things get a little dirty, if ya know what I mean..
  
  
  

• travelr712 said on Apr 21, 2009....

  well that's why you use ice, then all you get is wet... ;-)

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