So, here we go. I am still injured yes, but I gave up on my crutches, they hurt and take too long to get anywhere! Anyways- he called. He has been texting and calling a few times; and I had though that I could do that. I could take his calls and texts and I would just deal, because I do still want him in my life. Yet, he did call tonight, and made a few comments. He said he has'nt been sleeping well because he got use to sleeping with someone. Well, I said that I had gotten use to sleeping with someone too, and in a bigger bed than my small dorm room twin bed. An, that was about it, he just seemed to drop those suttle hints. And that hurts, what am I suppose to say? Because what I want to say is..
 
"YOU LEFT ME! You didn't want me! You don't love me or want to love me! Therefor I don't feel bad that you sleep alone now! I have been crying myself to sleep for over a week now! I still can picture his face, and try to feel his touch when I sleep; yet all I can do is cry myself to sleep, because YOU don't want me!"

I hate this, and I am getting so aggravated. I want him- I want him to want me! And he doesn't I can't make him want me. I can't. And I shouldn't have too!

I want a boyfriend to want me. To want to see me, and call me, and take me out. I shouldn't have to ask my boyfriend for some alone time. I want the cutesy stuff like flowers and cards, to know that I am wanted! And liked!

I don't know if I will ever find that- an so until then I will continue to buy my own flowers that make me smile. At least that way I will smile, because I can always count on myself.

me