So the other night when M and I showed up at the after party I was a little surprised to find someone there who I was feeling marginally uncomfortable with. She and I had I thought been friends when I was married to my exhusband. We knew them in college, got married the same year, had kids the same age and the whole nine yards. When I went to divorce my ex they even started out at least neutral.
Then things changed. I tried to get a restraining order against my ex during the divorce. He'd show up at my house at weird unscheduled times, call and leave long rambling messages and I'm sure he even got into my place when I wasn't home. I was complaining to J about it one day before the court day to make the order permanent. Well, she showed up to court the next day and shortly after gave me an ass chewing I'll not soon forget. Apparently my ex got to her and she was convinced that I was an immoral whore who deserved what I got.
So when I saw her at the party I made sure to keep my distance. Last thing I wanted was another ass chewing. But she came up to me and asked if we could step into the house and talk. FUCK!!!! I didn't want to, but to refuse might have caused a scene and I'm not in the habit of running from trouble.
I let her start since I wasn't sure what it was all about. It turns out that my ex's antics on facebook and in real life the past few years had given her some pause for thought. It seems that it occurred to her that he might not be an easy person to deal with, and certainly was now behaving in a very immature and sometimes lurid way. I give her credit for having the guts to come to me and apologize for having passed judgement on me and ask forgiveness.
We talked about what had happened since and at one point I was near tears telling her that I miss seeing my kids every day. She now knows why that whole situation evolved and she made a point of saying that she's sure the kids love me to death despite not seeing them every day. I'm not saying we're going to be best buds, but at least now my side of the story has come out and my apparent "immorality" seems to have been downgraded to "human error".
I know this is petty, but I feel a little gloatish about having lived so that I could prove to her that what I did may not have been perfect, but that it sure wasn't done maliciously. Maybe that in it's self is wrong, but it does feel good.
