• Cyphonik said on Apr 04, 2009....

  Well if you really want my 2 cents not that I think it is going to matter much but it sounds like he is using you but leading you along while he is trying to work out something else with someone else.  he is using you for the back burner incase he gets rejected or turned away by whatever he is waiting for.  I don't think that he is super busy so much that he can't even talk to you online.  I think he is trying to push you away slowly and then reel you back in when you get to far away.  No offense but in my opionion the guy sounds like a pig and I would just do yourself the favor of just saying fine you don't have time for me, I don't have time for you and see if he comes crawling back if he don't then he was never interested in the first place like he says he is.  Just go on your marry way and tell him that when he makes time for you tell him he knows where to find you.  No woman should have to wait on a man.

  again just my 2 cents take it as you wish.  Yes i'm a Guy by the way.

• SeanRenaud said on Apr 04, 2009....

  Obviously there is more to this situation that you are not telling us.  So I'm basing my opinion solely off what you wrote here and not what I think may have happened.

  You're being a woman and inventing things to be upset about.  That's the bottom line.  He set a date, you said no, he rescheduled (sort of) and that didn't work for him.  I didn't see you suggest a time.  Nor did I see any reason to bring up the idea that he used you. 

• Cyphonik said on Apr 04, 2009....

  of course she didn't leave more details however, the long pauses you have to take in account also.  He can't be so busy that he don't write back within an hour or anything like that.  Sounds like to me he is pushing her away on purpose as I stated before.

• SeanRenaud said on Apr 04, 2009....

  You make a good point about keeping her on the backburner.  I don't deny that is a strong possibility.

  As far as the pauses go on the internet, it's the internet.  Between disconnects, youtube and Xbox I know I"ve personally ignored a message for an hour and a half because I simply didn't hear the ding alerting me and it wasn't my highest priority. 

  Stupid SC eating posts again.

  You make several real good points but I still don't see ninja saying how bout next Tuesday. 

• brit said on Apr 04, 2009....

  Ninja~ Since Ive been following your posts on this guy, I can take everything into account.
  I think there is something else going on with him, and I think he's playing games with you.
  Like Cypho said, he is using you. If he is into you, he should make time for you. Plus there isn't any good excuse for ignoring your messages like that.
  
  As Sean said, I suppose it would have been a good idea to suggest a few times that would work for you and see how he responds. If none of them would work for him, then give up on the guy.
  

• Sir. said on Apr 04, 2009....

  sounds like your in a bit of a pickle. sounds like Cypho and brit are right, work and school are rarely reasons not to talk if you can instant message or even text.
  like you said, second date did'nt go as he hoped so it seems like he is out browsing the available selection and keeping you on the side just in case.
  cut your losses and call it quits.
  that's just my opinion.
  
  on a completely unrelated note...
  nice name
  ninja- confused individual running around in pajamas with a sword looking for a fight.
  pirate- confused individual running around in pantaloons looking for booty.
  
  my brain works out things like that, amuses me to no end.
  

• Hegemone said on Apr 04, 2009....

  First, hello and nice to meet you.  Here's my honest opinion, he either was being honest with you and didn't have the time to put effort into a relationship (and thinks you're worth the effort) so he didn't want to start something he knew he could finish OR he didn't get what he wanted out of that second date, got frustrated and decided to move on to somebody who would go all the way.  I know that sounds like a crappy scenario (the second one anyway), but guys are that way sometimes.  Be careful of staring a relationship with you doing all the work.  That shows a lot of laziness on his part and believe me, that will not change in the relationship, if you start out that way he'll get comfortable with it and soon you'll be feeling upset because you do all the work in the relationship.  He might be one of those that you just need to let go, maybe be friends and move on.

• SeanRenaud said on Apr 04, 2009....

  With her doing all the work?  It doesn't sound like she's really doing ANY of the work.  It doesn't mean she shouldn't move on just saying.

• ninjapirate said on Apr 04, 2009....

  Wow, what a response, thank you everyone! 
   
  Cyph:  That's exactly what I was afraid of, that he's leading me around for whatever reason.  I have continued to date other people, because ya I agree I shouldn't wait around, but unfortunetly I like him and that's why this is so confusing.  A lot of people seem to agree that he's just keeping me around while he's after someone else like you said.  That never occurred to me, but I'll definetly keep an eye out for any clues to something like that, if that's the case, then I'll defiently be done with him. 
   
  Sean:  Well here is more of the whole story if you're interested, but it's long winded.  I do realize I'm being a girl about a lot of this and ya now that I've calmed down I see I should have asked for another day and a time, maybe I can still ask even.  The reason I feel used is that we messed around and that changed what I wanted from him pretty fast, but obviously not for him and he just doesn't seem to want to help me with that.  If that makes sense.  I am curious what you mean by I'm not doing any of the work?  What else can I do?
   
  Brit:  Yay!  I'm glad you saw this already.  Yeah I think you and Sean are right, I think I'll try to set up some time with him, and keep things in public and try to just have a normal date and see if I can get more clues as to what is going on.  Just sucks cause I told him I didn't want to play games and I'd appreciate if he'd be honest with me, and he said he was!  Grr! 
   
  Sir:  So you think it seems bad too.  Well I'm extra happy I kept my ground on not giving him what he wanted.  But thank you, perhaps I am doubley confused hehe, your name is pretty good too, simple, yet noble. 
   
  Heg:  Nice to meet you too.  Well I definetly won't do all the work, though that's hard to stick to when you like the person, but I'm working on standing up for myself.  I sure hope your first case is what it is or something simliar.            

• Sir. said on Apr 04, 2009....

  it's how my friends and Others address me so i saw the name fitting.
  i also go by Dirtbag because it is the exact opposite of what i am.
  

• SeanRenaud said on Apr 05, 2009....

  The others have made solid points about the fact that he may be keeping you around encase something else doesn't work out.  The standard advice says run from this. My advice is hold your ground and think it out at least for a moment.

  I understand that you want something different from what he wants  but that's nothing you can be offended at.  You could have set another date, other than that there really isn't much you could have done. Other than that you can basically cut him loose and see what happens.  I'm not saying you should follow him around like a puppy.  I am saying that in a world where women want and expect to be treated as equals they need to step up and take responsibility for their own happiness and that includes asking men out on dates some of the time.

• Cyphonik said on Apr 12, 2009....

  If you want my honest opinion of this situation now since you responded back?  Hold your ground and be firm,  Prepare yourself for the worse and when the time is right be blunt with him and ask him if he is playing with your heart or if you guys can really have something more.  I mean at least if he says no then you don't need to burden yourself with it anymore and you got your answer and if he says yes then at least you know that you can start somewhere.  If he is offended with you asking him where the relationship lies between you to then it was never ment to be.  Although maybe he feels the same way that you do and is just as confused and is trying to be cautious.  Good luck and we hope to hear updates.

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