From an egroup...Really great advice for those who like to make their relationships work. Some entries have comments from moi (the parenthetical ones). Be inspired.

*******************************************************************

ANNIVERSARIES
Always celebrate! Whether it's the 1st or the 50th, each year together is a triumph. (How Iwish men have the ability to remember dates. Well some do, many or majority simply don't. )

APPRECIATION
Let each other know how much you appreciate each other. You may already know but hearing it from each other is always better. (don't get tired of saying "I LOVE YOU" everyday...your partner might die later or within the day or...just say it - from the heart...if you really love your partner, you won't get tired of saying this even if you've fought that day)

BEST FRIENDS
Be best friends preferably before being boyfriend-girlfriend. Take time to know each other so the relationship will be a deep one. Tell each other about your crushes, dreams and problems.
Make sure he/she is your best friend before getting engaged. The strong bond of friendship will help you both survive tough times. (this is so true...but my best friend(s)...never mind i'll just keep it to myself)

BOND
Make it a point to spend time together often but leave room for each other. Also spend time alone w/ each other, so that at the end of the day you could both share your experiences. This way, you stay interesting with your partner.

CHANGING EACH OTHER
Don't marry an as...le, j.... or a bi.... (an unsuitable person) You'll never change each other. (Absolutely true. And when a person tells you s/he is an asshole - believe. s/he knows her/himself more - then decide whether or not you'd still love that person)

COMPLIMENTS
Always compliment each other. This will prevent feelings of resentment & thinking that one is being taken for granted. (So true. make your partner feel good about her/himself and vice-versa...this inspires you to be better)

DATE
Keep doings things that you both enjoy, do them together. Make time & continue to date to keep the romance - look good, smell good to maintain physical attraction (and even though your partner farts or have zits, you'd still want to spend time with her/him because you love her/him)

DIFFERENCES
Celebrate differences. Never force your ideologies down each other's throat. Give up trying to turn your partner into you. Accept differences, appreciate them. (Ask yourself if you'd be willing to lovingly embrace the totality of your partner's personality and not just the qualities you like.)

FIGHTS
Fight w/the aim to resolve the issue. Don't outdo each other. The longer you extend the fight. The more chances that you'll say something hurtful that you don't really mean. As mad as you were w/ your partner, he/she is still the person who laughs at your jokes & thinks you're hot.
Hear each other out, don't dig up old issues. Choose your battles. Make sure the fight will be worth it & that something will change in the relationship as a result of the fight. (I'd rather express my anger than hide it...because repressed feelings have a way of wanting to be freed from being imprisoned by your heart. Release anger but not in a bloody manner. Don't sacrifice your personal freedom and peace just because you got upset by what your partner did.)

FLAWS
Know that the perfect person does not exist. Know that just as there are things that you love about him/her, there will be things that will make you go crazy. We are only human with our own flaws. (Amen)

FUN
Have fun together! This means keeping the fun & spontaneity that was there in the early days.
Allow yourselves to get silly - shower together, pee w/the door open etc. Being able to make each other laugh & see the lighter, crazier, absurd side is the best way to get through all the differences in personalities, adjustments in lifestyle & opposing viewpoints. (Try the things you never thought you'd like to do. Dance even if you don't know how. Eat foods that you think you don't like but because your partner likes it, you give them a try. Sing like tarzan, etc. etc.)

GOALS
Make sure you have similar goals. It would be difficult to keep your bond intact if your views are complete opposite.

GRUDGES
Quit tabulating grudges. Let it off. Discuss it, then trash it, don't recycle it. (When you express anger, this gets addressed - you don't have to have these)

KEEPING IT HOT
Keep it hot by traveling to different places together. A new setting will do wonders. Always have skin contact - be it holding hands, a massage or just plain leg rubbing. (Understandably enough as most men are always horny. LOL)

HONESTY (is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue...It's mostly what I need from you...[lol - hear that?])
Don't lie or hide things. The problem will only get bigger. (Don't underestimate a woman's instinct. She has a way of finding out...she has her own mind. When her partner is not hiding anything - he doesn't have to be defensive. Dishonesty damages trust, which is a very integral part in any relationship.)

KNOW EACH OTHER
Learn each other's interests. It really keeps the conversation flowing! (Ask questions! And be willing to answer them)

HUG
A hug can be far better more intimate than a kiss. (Absoulutely!!!)

IDENTITY
Don't lose your personality - that's why he/she fell in love w/you. Have separate interest & activities to keep your individual, & to be able to contribute more to the relationship.

INDEPENDENCE
Having your own income means you're the boss in your life.

IN-LAWS
Make rooms for the in-laws.

INTENTIONS
Wish each other well. Don't wish each other worst (But if s/he's an asshole??? Well...okay, get mad...then forgive yourself...And hopefully him afterwards)

ISSUES
Speak up about the awkward stuff now,like money & sex. The earlier, the better. (Discuss the things that bother you about the relationship. Lay your cards right. Make the coast clear. Just be honest with your beliefs and feelings.)

LISTEN
Listen, listen, listen. Hear each other out especially during arguments. (So true. Don't dismiss. Silence is often an admission of something, especially if you choose not to answer questions that have been bugging your mate.)

LOOK GOOD
Mind your appearance! Stay fit & healthy for each other. (Quit smoking and drinking alcohol. Don't do drugs. Don't abuse your health.)

LOVE
It all boils down to your love, chemistry & respect for each other. (Need i say more????)

MEMORIES
Remind each other of the old days. Do something that you used to do for each other before.
It may even be corny but it made you two together. Experience new things together- from dining into a new restaurant to experiencing street food together to exploring to new places (to performing or exploring various sexual positions - LOL) . It's the little surprises that make great memories.

MIND READING
No matter how long you've been together, do not think that you can read each other's mind. (It'd be also nice, too, if you and your partner know what's on your mind - because you don't have to explain further - he gets it! You're on the same wavelength. LOL)

NEEDS
Be good to yourself,then be good to your partner. That's what love is all about. Think about your partner. Will it make him/her happy? (This is true. If you really love your mate, you'll always be concerned of her/his happiness.) Will she/he enjoy it? Consider each other's feelings.
Be very attentive & sensitive to each other's needs, physically & emotionally, that way your partner learns to do the same for you. Never take your partner for granted. (AMEN)

PRIORITIES
If one says it's important, then it is! Prioritize each other among other things!

SPACE
Give each other space. Have dates with your girlfriends, have your boy's night out. If you can't trust each other with this, then don't get married.

SORRY (and Forgiveness)
Say sorry when you're wrong. (Admit your mistakes...And forgive yourself...and your partner as well...this TAKES TIME. It's a PROCESS. Refrain from facilitating it. I know. I really know.)

SURPRISES
No matter how long you've known each other, be open to surprises, both good or bad. (This keeps the relationship exciting.)

TEAMWORK
Think for two & always work as a team. Consult each other before making a decision because everything will always affect both of you. Strengthen couple power. In many ways, we have to decide based on what is best for the relationship in favor of our individual selves.

SUPPORT
Support each other's dream. Be willing to follow your passions, support your partner in his/her decisions & create new ones together. Two heads are better than one. (Make your partner feel that you are concerned about what's going on in his/her life. Be there when s/he is feeling down. Be happy when s/he is. Just be there.)

TALK
Tell each other's stories. Life goes by so fast & its easy to see how easily couple can grow apart.
Whenever something funny, scary, exciting or juicy happened to you or to someone you know, tell each other about it & have your partner do the same. Keep each other in the loop of life, even by email if you have to. (Utilize all possible means of communication to send sweet and caring messages to your mate - be it through SMS, snail mail, email - as suggested, a surprise phonecall...just talk...Keep the fire burning by letting your partner know how much you need her...Silence can also be "talk" you know...Your mere presence is enough. By the way, there are different contexts for silence. It can be good or bad...depending on the situation. Okay? )

Communication is the main ingredient in successful long relationships. Share your feelings without judgment or criticism. Active listening, then working up to a discussion for problem solving. It takes continuous effort & learning.