So I was at work today, and someone ordered a king size 16 ounce rump, topped with cheese and chilli con carne.
That is a LOT of meat.
The usual units of meat in the catering trade is rum is 4, 8 or sometimes, in tacky places 10oz, and sirloin rarely gets sold above 8oz. They're rarely topped either, chefs like their bar-marking to show, God knows I do.
It got me thinking about our big mixed grill, an 8oz rump, full chicken breast, 8oz gammon, three sausages and chips.
Shows you a lot about Britain and masculinity. Nobody can ENJOY eating that much meat, I have after seriously punishing my body when I need protein (before I started eating pulses).
So why do they do it?
I'll tell you why, white South Africans traditionally eat a lot of meat. In Britain the US, its a macho thing, caveman-esque and butch to eat loads of meat.
Eating meat like that you risk obesity, heart disease, and with processed pork, you risk cancer. And you're not foolin' anyone, its like those guys you see with huge pick ups and 4 by 4s sat at the wheel - they're overcompensating for their own insecurity by eating loads of meat, having guns and generally trying to act like cowboys.
Paaaaaathetic.
I play with dogs, I cuddle cats, eat a semi-veggi diet (I'm not a vegitarian but I really can't eat that much meat, I feel slow), wear Hugo Boss, care about my apperence, hell I even condition my hair and moisturise after shaving.
And you know what? I've got a 50inch chest, 40 inch waist, and I weigh 280lbs and ride a motorbike. I'm secure in my sexuality, I can hug gay men, or even once my mate and I went drinking dressed up in miniskirts, for a joke.
I am masculin enough to be slightly feminate when the mood takes me, and I'm not worried I'll turn gay or people will think I am.
So put down the .22, and that 8lb cheeseburger, swap the 'yank-tank' (that's what we call hummers and such in blighty) for a hatch or saloon, lose the T shirt with 'real man' written on it and get a linin shirt and be straight.
