• starchini said on Apr 03, 2009....

  Alrighty!  Yay, this is my department of expertise.  First off, you like the guy hes "perfect" and just isnt that great in bed.  Contrary to popular belief lack of sexual chemistry is not the end of the world.  It indeed can be learned.  Everyone fucks differently and yea it takes some time for two people from two different styles to get on the same page.  I wouldnt dive straight into telling him you wanna be spanked and held down, especially if you already intimidate him.  But men respond well to "guidence"...they dont like being told what to do. They like to be shown what to do.  So next time your going at it and you want him to last longer and he looks like hes about to have an aneurism, pull back.  Have him slow down, dont let him blow yet.  Change positions.  Your in control.  Next time your on all fours and hes on autopilot mindlessly humping, smack your own ass...He will get the hint that you like to be spanked.  If he doesnt, ever so suavely take his hand and smack your ass with it.  Or guide his hand in your hair.  If hes not hitting the right spot, maybe thrusting too low ignoring your clit, grab his ass and pull him up.  I could go on and on with possible scenarios. 

  My main advice is to at first take the reigns and give him some guidence.  I once just told a man what to do, thinking hed appreciate it.  He didnt...He was doing something weird while on top and i just said "no, scoot up a bit and get off of your elbows"...He stopped dead in his tracks and was pissed.  "Fuck yourself if im not doing it right" and stormed off...hehe...so dont just tell him what to do. 

  And then if that still isnt quite getting you satisfied, mutual masturbation.  Play with your self in front of him.  Men pay attention to that.  Let him watch you go at it with yourself.  Tell him "ooo this is what i like" as you, oh i dont know, yank your hair or tug on your nipples while vibing your way to ecstacy.  Then let him play with you... : ) 

  And if he stil doesnt get it.  Then have a very casual talk about it some random night.  Lordy dont be all "We need to talk"...Just sometime at dinner, maybe giggle and shift around in your chair a bit and tell him how you were thinking about the last time you two had sex and he did whatever move perfectly, you loved it, but I wonder what it would be like if you did this also.  Be sure not to emasculate him if it comes down to the conversation.  Be sure to let him know hes good in bed, dont go overbored so he knows your lying, but be sure and make it clear you are satisfied, but maybe you just want to add to the repoitar (i have no idea how to spell that word)...Giggle all shyly like your nervous to even talk about it.  Give him the reins in the convo and make him feel like it was all his idea.  Men love that. 

  If you guys are really as alike as you say you are im sure he will be all about it .  I know what its like to be told your intimidating.  I get that all the time.  People are just turned into big piles of mush when im around.  Women are afraid of me, men are nervous around me.  And let me say, its very possible hes just intimidated.  Men can work themselves into a frenzy if they are worried they cant satisfy you.  It really is a double edged sword.  The more they want to do well the more they suck....

  I really hope i helped you out or gave ya some ideas : )  Let me know how it goes! 

• starchini said on Apr 03, 2009....

  I was just rereading my comment, apparently im a slow reader bc the option to edit was long gone...I also would like to add:  Be sure to set the mood yourself.  A lot of times women feed off of the mood the man is giving off.  Obviously your holding back bc he is.  I dont know who is normally the instigator between you two. But next time I would recommend you seducing him your way.  He wont stop you and he will feed off of the vibe your setting.  No man doesnt have wild fantasies, usually they are just too shy (or intimidated) to act on them.  Im sure hes had wild dominating fantasies about smacking ass and yanking hair and wrapping his hands around a womans throat while ram rodding...So if you set the scene, he will follow suit with great pleasure and relief that he didnt have to put himself out there.  He will think your that much more amazing for being so confident.  Plus it will take all that pressure hes feeling off of him.  He can just relax and lay back with a hard cock for you to do what you want with...And he will remember what you did when you were in control and he will do it himself for you the next time, gaurantee it. 

  Quick Story:...Ill try and make it quick...Phil, my fiance, i was getting a little bored with his sex and won night in the car on the way home he told me to do something.  I dont quite remember i think he told me "turn the heat up"...I did it and looked at him cioly and said "anything else master?"...sarcastically and sexually...I was so nervous what he would do.  I didnt know if hed think i was a freak or if he would play along...to my utter shock and surpise he said "Yea, kiss me"...this went on and by the time we got home id turned this sweet man into some sort of wild s&m dominator.  He told me to say Bannana when i wanted him to really stop.  He had me pinned down to the bed furiously fucking me holding my head down with his hand.  And *huge shocker* he asked me to tell him "no no oh god no it hurts"...LOL..I did..and wow!!!  I had never met this side of Phil.  And it all started cuz i called him master once when he didnt say please.  ...We dont have sex like that often, but its fun once in a while to get crazy and all i gotta do is call him master when i want it that way... : ) 

   

• Brunettebmshell said on Apr 03, 2009....

  Ohhhhh Star! You have helped GREATLY! Thank goodness for you my dear. You have given me plenty of great ideas. Gosh, thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that. I love the "Anything else master" scenario... I will absolutely try that. AND I will be seducing him and taking the reins now more often. 
  
  
  And you were right... thinking about it, I have been holding back. Probably because I have never been with someone who, in my mind, I think is "perfect". Every guy I've ever dated I've picked out flaws immediately and found something wrong with. I guess he intimidates me as well... interesting. Well, no more! I'm going big from now on. Hopefully I don't scare him off.... but we'll just have to see ; ) Thanks so much again!!!
  
  
  BB

• ALLUPINYOU said on Apr 03, 2009....

  wow star should have her own talk show i just wanted to add that if he has put u up too high in his mind then his subconcious is trying to compete with that during sex hell maybe all day just let him know you are in it for the long haul and that will also aleviate some of the horizontal pressures both of you seem to have . best of luck :)

• scipio said on Apr 04, 2009....

  Starchini, That was one enlightening  lesson in sex.  I am sure you are the "Star" of this subject.
   

• starchini said on Apr 06, 2009....

  YAY so glad i could help : )  Be sure and let us know how it goes.  I really doubt you will scare him off.  Sounds to me like you both are just head over heels in love with eachother and scared to death of fucking it up.  Just relax, be yourself, and fuck him the way you want to : ) 

  Thanks scip!  I dont know about "star" of the subject.  But im definitly a student : ) 

   

• Brunettebmshell said on Apr 06, 2009....

  ALLUPINYOU - Nice name ; ) Yes, star definitely should have her own sex talk show. I'd subscribe!
  I think we should just NOT think about expectations while having sex and just be in the moment. I'm not holding back any longer. I see him tomorrow and I'm ready to go all out. I'll let you know how it goes : ) hehe.
  
  Scipio - I agree.
  
  Star - I will absolutely keep you updated : )  You're fabulous! Thanks for the pep talk!
  
  BB
  

• scipio said on Apr 07, 2009....

  Looking foreward to read the update.

  this is one subject I don't mind being taught over and over again... LOL

• starchini said on Apr 07, 2009....

  oh pleeze...no, your fabulous!  : P

• Brunettebmshell said on Apr 07, 2009....

  Update already!
  
  My bf was out of town for work this weekend so unfortunately there was no sexy time. BUT, I did get him in the to mood to come home by sending him a very steamy photo of me in lacy underwear... and nothing else. And after he got the photo, I went into detail of what I wanted from him when he came home.... he seemed to enjoy that a lot ; )
  
  Well I wasn't planning on seeing him last night since I had about a million things to do after work, but while I was at the store he kept sending me really sweet texts. So I thought I would be spontaneous and grabbed a crap load of tea light candles, went home, placed them all around my room and told him he should come over. When he got to my place, there were scented candles lit all over and music playing. He looked very surprised and I immediately pulled him down on the bed and kissed him like I was never going to see him again. I got on top of him and initiated making love, which of course he was all about. Needless to say, we stayed up until 2am this morning... We still have to be somewhat careful since he JUST had surgery only 2 weeks ago due to his car accident, but it still was an extremely nice ending to a stressful day.
  
  I can't wait till he is 100%, because then it's really on!  : )
  
  
  BB
  

• scipio said on Apr 08, 2009....

  Take it easy and hope all goes well........  when it's 100% - hopefully,   it will be perfect.

  And after that - hope you hit 100 %  everytime.........

   

   

• Goose21 said on Apr 09, 2009....

  How about watching a video together in a seductive setting, and just letting him relax while you both watch the film.. it might open some discussion, you could also play with him while the film is on .
  
  x
  

• starchini said on Apr 09, 2009....

  YAY!!!  Sounds like success to me!  : ) 

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