As I am posting today my mind is a little bit disturbed with the web's name soul cast. I am actually experiencing some problems with regards to my function as a priest and my needs as a man. At time sI question myself if I could still be effective as a spiritual leader since I can no longer give one hundreed percent of myself in fulfilling the ideals of priesthood. There is a now a dichotomy of my priesthood priorities -- my personal life and commitment to the church. To cut it short, I am one of the young priests today who appeal for Vatican's reconsideration on its position regarding priest marriages. Actually I had no problems in deciding to become a priest despite the objection of my friends and relatives. For sometime I was happy being a priest ministering to the spiritual needs of the people (not only Catholics). But I fell in love with a young lady who accidentally crossed my way when I attended a secondary athletic meet of private schools in my place. She is a member of the cheering team of one of the participating school. She is tall, fair in complexion, and has a caucasian appearance. She became my close friend at the age of seventeen. When she turned 18, I suddenly felt something different. She awakened the man in me. She comes to my dreams so often. She joined the youth choir which I organized and the more we became close to each other.

She left our city and studied in another place. She is a sophomore communication arts student in a premier state university in our country. She had many admirers but she had onlyh "an eye to me." I love her very much. In fact I am contemplating to leave priesthood and marry her. The only problem, my family is against me leaving the priesthood. We seldom see each other as we are so many hundreed miles apart but we exchange messages through e-mail and text messaging. She just accepted me (as a boyfriend) last July. She told me that if ever we would get married in the future it will be on July the same day she accepted my love.

There as so many things bothering me. There is a handsome guy about her age who court her. The guy switched course to communication arts (from engineering) just to see my girlfriend so often. Because of that I am now contemplating to go on leave (or to leave priesthood forever)
and take my master's degree in philosophy, or simply study law so I could prepare for out future.

Our relationships is top secret. In the convent, they know she is just a close friend. I visit her too in her residence when she is around-- and her family does not even know we are on to each other. Funny she call me "father" while in front of other people. And call me on my nickname "PM"
when we are together. By the way she has still some difficulty of calling me as a boyfriend, at times she still address me during our conversation as father.

What kind of girlfriend is Faith (not her real name) to me? I will reveal all in this blog everything that goes on in our relationship. It is a Romeo and Juliet type of relationship. I know many condemn me as sinning, but honestly I haven't done anything immoral with her. It is purely affection and the cleanest of the heart and intention as of now.