Oh my goodness I've stopped and started this blog a million times and now I've come to accept the fact that I'm just too tired to be eloquent.
Anyway, hey...here's an idea...OH! HERE'S A BETTER IDEA!! A long time ago I was going through a phase of self-help books and feminist empowerment...and I was like...hey, I should make a list of all the things I want out of a relationship, and if I have them on paper I'll be more likely to recognize a satisfying relationship when I'm in one. So I made a list. =D
So for each boyfriend I've gone through the list and decided if they fit the criteria well, and for each boyfriend I made excuses for why I love them anyway despite them not fitting the criteria well...yeah...typical.
And without further delay, here it is, heroically titled:
The List
I want:
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To feel loved and accepted for who I am, not who I could be.
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To feel encouraged to pursue a goal even when I'm terrified of the outcome.
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A partner who listens to what I have to say when I'm expressing my emotions and takes everything into consideration, making an effort to understand where I'm coming from.
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Someone who will not only listen but who responds with how they feel and with questions about the way I feel.
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Someone who will schedule time to spend with me when their agenda is busy.
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To be sexually attracted to this person.
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To be emotionally attracted to this person.
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To feel sexually and emotionally attractive to this person.
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To be comfortable expressing my emotions to him.
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To be sure that our relationship is a priority to him.
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Our plans for the future to match or be able to compromise comfortably.
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In social events, to not feel of lesser importance than my partner.
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A partner who is accepting of all races, cultures, opinions, and people in general.
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To not be the domestic super-housewife.
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To make as much money as my partner.
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For our money to be seen as our money rather than mine and his.
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My partner to be willing and eager to sit down prior to engagement to discuss expectations so we are both on the same page.
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A sexually satisfying and adventurous relationship.
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Someone who wants children.
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When working on parenting, to both have the same books and to make sure our plans are consistent so that the child is not confused.
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To be sure that my partner is happy with me.
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To not have to seek approval.
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Someone who is financially smart, and encourages the same behavior in me.
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To feel beautiful with my hair greasy and my teeth not brushed.
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To be inspired to be my best.
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To be take seriously.
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To be lighthearted.
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To feel as though my emotions don't have to make sense.
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Not to lose my independence.
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To be understood when I say, "I need your help."
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Not to be pressured into doing something I'm not comfortable with.
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To be of use to my partner.
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To be comfortable in my own skin.
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Faithfulness.
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To be able to laugh at the same jokes.
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To enjoy each other's music.
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To have similar interests.
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To be accepted by his family.
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To view myself not as being in a relationship, but as testing a prospective husband and/or testing my strength.
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To think about my life more than I think about the time I spend with him.
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To free myself from obsession with relationships.
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To not be afraid to break up when I have to.
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To be ready to leave once they hint that there's something wrong with me.
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To love him as much as he loves me.
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To not be scared of hurting him if I had to break up with him.
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Freedom.
I'd encourage you to make your own lists about what you want in any area of life, just to keep from selling yourself short. =) You deserve whatever you want, provided it doesn't hurt anyone.
