Am I naive? The past two jobs I have held, I have been betrayed by a coworker saying untrue, yet very bad things about me to my boss. Luckily, I have not taken it personally, because in both instances, the person was also slamming other people. Today, my one coworker went to the bosses and told them she should get a better raise than everyone else because she was so superior and she told them all sorts of untrue things about the other employees! (I know this because my boyfriend is the director and the bosses tell him everything.) I am so upset. We are all supposedly good friends at work, and she slammed all of us! I know why she did it..she wanted to make herself look better. But now my dillema..how do I deal with her tomorrow? I feel hurt and very betrayed.
BTW, if I have misspellings in this post, for some reason half my post is cut off, so I can't proofread it properly..I apologize!
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Lovethebeach posted on Aug 31, 2006
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Comments
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silverwhisper said on Sep 01, 2006....
confront her, i say. say, "i heard the stuff you've been saying. i don't know why you said it, but i know and so do a few others. your best option is to go to the bosses and tell them you were wrong."
take the high road, don't threaten: if you can convert an enemy into an ally, that's the greatest victory of all, right?
ed
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Lovethebeach said on Sep 01, 2006....
Hi Ed, That's a great idea. Should I tell the other girls that she was saying things about them, too?
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FaithfulDisciple said on Sep 01, 2006....
Yes what Ed says is right confront her. Sometimes letting them know that you're angry and disapprove of whatever hurtful consequences her stupid actions causes is the best way of telling her, I won't tolerate or allow this behavior.
This is better than just shutting yourself up and sulking miserably without putting up a fight to restore your tarnished hard worked reputation. Good luck!
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silverwhisper said on Sep 01, 2006....
LTB: that's entirely your decision. personally, i wouldn't: that can lead to mass retaliations for what might have been a bad moment for her. i don't know the whole story but w/out any details, i would prefer to assume the least possible malice.
ed
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Expendable said on Sep 01, 2006....
Confront her. Repeat what she said about you.
I don't know if you can ever trust her again though. It's usually a mistake. But you'll need to work with her professionally.
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scalywag said on Sep 01, 2006....
Just be careful on what issues you confront her. I wouldn't base anything on information that came from your boyfriend....that could be trouble for both you and him.
Good luck!
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Lovethebeach said on Sep 01, 2006....
For now, I have chickened out and not confronted her. I will, lamely, let my boyfriend deal with her. I am a total wimp!
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Lovethebeach said on Sep 01, 2006....
Expendable...you're right..I can't trust her again. I hate it when I am let down by people I think I can trust!
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secretlife said on Sep 01, 2006....
I'm not sure why some people think that by putting others down, they can elevate themselves in anyones eyes.
Any manager worth his/her salt would:
1) not take anything she had to say seriously
2) have a few side words with her about working as a team which means you don't badmouth your co-workers to make yourself look good.
scaly is right - use caution from now on; don't trust her.
I agree with sw on not saying anything to the other girls. It could get really ugly.
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Lovethebeach said on Sep 01, 2006....
My boyfriend tells me that the bosses did not believe her and even stood up to her and defended the rest of us. Now, they are trying to figure out how to reprimand her. I need to note, this woman has been written up before for insubordination. She really is unprofessional, although I never in my wildest dreams figured her for the type to betray a friend.
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anonymous said on Sep 12, 2006....
Not to be judgemental, but when your BF is a director, that may create some insecurity for your coworkers...also I don't know the rules in your company, but in many, a retaliation against your coworker may create a sexual harassment situation for your BF (if he is in both your direct chain of command). Of course she may simply be a vengeful person, but if your boss tells your BF everything, & you are getting that info, you are in getting some advantage over your coworkers through your relationship. I would suggest keeping the relationship low-key & not shove it on others.