So, Sunday, March 29th, was my two year wedding anniversary. I'm a simple kind of gal, so I really didn't plan anything.
I couldn't get to sleep the night before. I had an awful headache. Once I finally got rid of that around 4AM, I fell asleep. At about half past 5, one of my dogs, Skitz, started shaking her head. Her ears bother her a lot. I stumbled out of bed to the restroom to grab some Q-tips and mineral oil and I played Doctor Mom. I cleaned her ears, put a few drops of mineral oil in them and gave them a good rub. She smiled (yes, my animals actually smile) and gave me some doggy breath, and finally stopped shaking her head.
At about 6AM, I finally managed to doze off again. Again, aroung a quarter 'til 7, my husband is writhing in pain. He rushes out of bed and disappears for 15 minutes or so. "Here we go again..." Half awake, I managed to make it into the living room where he sat on the couch with his head in his hands.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
It's his stomach again. He gets sharp pains in his lower abdomen all the time. He says it feels like someone is stabbing him, and then it feels like he is going to explode. I keep insisting that he get it checked out, however he is too stubborn to.
I gave him a glass of water and an herbal supplement, we watched the sun rise, and we finally went back to bed.
Last I looked at the clock it was almost 8AM. I managed to sleep until 2PM. I woke up, looked and my husband sleeping so soundly in the bed, and smiled. We've been through a lot in 2 years. More than most couples go through in 30.
I made my way to the kitchen and made some "brunch". Ha...Too late for breakfast, almost too late for lunch, but too early for dinner...What would you call it?
I brought it to him in bed.
We had a simple day. We drove to the Reservoir and fed the ducks and geese some leftover pretzels. After a month of weather between the 50's and 70's of all days, this day was 30 degrees. It was too cold to go for a walk by the water, so we decided to sit in the car and look at it. :-) We shared a few words, a few hugs and kisses and some smiles, and decided to head home. I made dinner. He did the dishes.
Although it was a good day overall, I was still quite sad. I couldn't help but think about our son, Dylan. I gave birth to a beautiful little boy on January 4th of this year. I was only 27 weeks along. He passed before he could even take his first breath in this world. My predicted due date was March 29th. Our anniversary. I couldn't help but think, what may have been. I miss him.
This year has been a trying one so far. I can't help but ask myself sometimes if things will look up anytime soon. Last year was a crazy one. I attended 3 funerals in the first 4 months...two of them being 2 weeks apart. One of them was my Great grandfather, who was like a father to me. The sadness on my Great Grandmother's face doesn't seem to go away. They had been married for almost 60 year when he passed. I hope I am fortunate enough to have that much time with my love.
My sister-in-law lost her husband, Bobby. He left behind two small children, one adult son, and 3 step-children. He was only 38.
My husband's aunt passed two weeks after Bobby. She was laughing with her family, and when they decided to move her to another room, she passed away on her way up to the room.
Late last year, I was laid off from my job. We were in the process of obtaining a loan for the home we were renting when I was laid off. I couldn't afford the rent anymore, so we had to leave. We had nowhere to go. From September to December of 2008, we hopped from place to place, trying not to over-stay our welcome. I slept in the car a few nights. Being 6 months pregnant and freezing cold was not my idea of fun.
My husband, Jesse, managed to find a job in the beginning of November, and by December 15th, we had enough money saved to move in another place. In January, Dylan was born and passed and shortly after, Jesse was laid off from his job. I have been babysitting part time to try to keep food in the house, and we have both been looking for full-time employment. There is nothing in this city. The unemployment rate is over 30% in my city alone. Every day you hear about another huge employer laying off thousands of employees. I'm a college educated woman, and I still cannot find anything!
Needless to say, as rough as the start of this year has been, I hope it gets better. I would love to be able to get back to work. At least part time if nothing else. I'm just frustrated with everything right now. We can barely make ends meet. I'm sure things will look up soon, but I hope it's REALLY soon!
