I recently stumbled upon a web site on the alternative lifestyle. In it was a forum where surfers aired views on anything and everything from love, sex and relationships, to sports, fitness and looking beautiful. Much of it was superficial and frivolous, with the invariable bitchings and rantings about life.  But amidst all the trifling threads, was a spiritual corner, and within, a “Catholic thread”!  Unusual, I thought, for this was hardly a place to discuss religion.

Curious, I ventured in, and what I uncovered did not surprise me. There were the usual rantings against the Pope, the church, its teachings, yadda, yadda, yadda... all because these did not sit well with the lifestyle these ranters wished to practise.  

Looking through some of these postings, I recalled my own experience and feelings of frustration with the church when I was in my late teens and 20s (yeah.. those rebellious years). I had then stopped practising my faith (thought i deserved to be angry..), wandered aimlessly for over a decade (not knowing what i really wanted spiritually because my soul was a barren desert...), got wooed back by an unexplained calling (yes, God works in wondrous and mysterious ways...), returned like the prodigal son and experienced an immense feeling of warmth and love one Good Friday 8 yrs ago when I set foot in church again after 10 long years wandering the wilderness aimlessly. I have never looked back since.

I’ve always believed that my faith is a personal relationship with God. The Catholic church (and indeed any church for that matter..) is not perfect. Any institution of earthly existence will never be perfect, simply because nothing and no one can be perfect but God.

Imperfect though the church may be, my faith has brought me much peace and love. I do not profess to be an angel or sinless. I admit i have temptations and sinful tendencies, just like anybody else. But God acknowledges us for what we are, imperfections and all. The important thing is that we want to make that effort to better ourselves and those around us.  God will do the rest.

Not everyone out there will agree with me. Some may think that religion blinds and brain-washes. But i've gone through my own hell and high water and battled my own demons to know my own conscience.

Since the beginning of time, man has always sought to find meaning to life, turning to worship all kinds of objects from rocks, trees, mountains, to the sea, the sun, the sky.... Why is that?

Everyone seeks his own path to personal peace and happiness. It is a personal journey each and every one of us attempts.  In making that journey, have faith in your conscience and know that there is a divine being out there, whatever faith or religion you may embrace. There is more to our existence and our happiness than the transient pleasures that every turn in life presents us.

Each one of us is blessed.. but we must first allow ourselves to be.