there's a woman here in the philippines who jumped in front of a train.
it was a miracle because she didnt die and only suffered a few bruises.
very lucky...
when the police asked why she jumped she said she lost her job. she wasnt herself that day and just wants to die.
a lot of people are losing their jobs and it's sad that they think suicide would solve their problem. it's so sad that they would just give up.
anyway, my question is...
would you do the same if you lost your job?
i know this might be a sensitive post but i understand what the state of mind of someone who would consider suicide. i already experienced it and is thankful that i did not do it.
queenparanoia posted on Mar 26, 2009
| views: 618
Comments
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the_infernal_optimist said on Mar 26, 2009....
No. Not for job loss or any other tragedy that could strike me -- and at this point, I'm damn sure of that.
There have been times I wished I wasn't alive, but only three in my lifetime, after major personal losses/in untenable situations where it hurt too much to think about tomorrow. But I'd never take myself out.
It is really sad to hear of these people doing these things. :(
~Infernal
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moonriver said on Mar 26, 2009....
hell, no! not for any reason, no.
at no time -- not even in my worst worst worst moments -- have i contemplated taking my own life because of some utterly devastating sense of loss.
as my favorite che guevara motto says: "fight for every breath, and tell death to go to hell."
perhaps the only scenario where i would willingly die is when, to save a loved one's life, i need to act in a way that means sure death.
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queenparanoia said on Mar 26, 2009....
infernal: yeah. it is sad.
moonriver: i like that moon. thanks for sharing...
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wombat said on Mar 26, 2009....
We had an incident in our country where a man supposedly killed himself and his family after he and his wife both lost their jobs. I don't think anyone knew what to make of that news story--but I know it was more than "just a news story."We are in a sad state here with many who have lost their jobs, and I am one of them more or less. (I had a good job, but was let go last year from it) but I still believe in hope.I know about the other side of hope. I don't want to go there again. There has to be hope, or there is nothing.We should all remember that. When you decide there is no hope, then you have come to nothing.....and that just ain't gonna happen in this world. Not while we still own the world of promise and tomorrow.Guess I am not making much sense, but I still hope so... I keep trying despite myself and those news blogs. -
Lioness said on Mar 26, 2009....
No. I guess there are better reasons for me to end my life than mere losing a job.. That lady is obviously desperate and confused.
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queenparanoia said on Mar 26, 2009....
wombat: you make a lot fo sense wombie. there's always hope eventhough we think there isnt. i'm glad youre still holding on to that... ;-)
lioness: with our state of our country today can you blame her? grabe sa lrt pa.
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Lioness said on Mar 26, 2009....
I guess not. Ang hirap nga ng buhay queen. Kaso embarassing yun, imagine, na-media pa siya di ba.. **sigh** -
queenparanoia said on Mar 26, 2009....
lioness: oh yeah, and there was a video of her when she jumped! kakahiya nga! -
travelr712 said on Mar 26, 2009....
nope, still alive here -
rupert7 said on Mar 26, 2009....
A lot of people are loosing their jobs everywhere now,I think. Its not their fault and it has to cause major problems for them. Suicide is not the answer. That will just create heartache and bigger problems for the family surely. So NO! -
MsStar39 said on Mar 27, 2009....
No I would not kill myself, i would have faith that God would take care of me and help me to find another one. -
superbozo said on Mar 27, 2009....
I have had many low points in my life and not once has the idea of killing myself entered my head. I lost my job a couple of weeks ago. True I live in a country where loss of job does not nessercary mean loss of income as we have a welfare system. It's not enough but you can survive. I consider it a low point financially at the moment but nothing else as I've never had to had to claim welfare before. -
queenparanoia said on Mar 27, 2009....
trav: and i'll keep you alive!!!!
rupert: i'm glad you decide that!
msstar: that's a great way to get through this... ;-)
superbozo: the problem is that in our country we dont have welfare here. it's much more difficult to live in a third world country...
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PieterOpie said on Mar 27, 2009....
Years ago I lost a job through redundancy and I was quite devastated at first but I never ever thought of killing myself.
Now if I got a job and had to go back to work I would definitely kill myself.
I'd rather die than have to endure all that crap again. I always was a difficult employee but I would be impossible to put up with these days. They can keep their job and shove it.... Too many jobs are economic slavery in my opinion. And I loved my work. If I had hated it I'd have starved long ago.
No job or boss is worth dying for. Even a headache is too much as far as I'm concerned.
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queenparanoia said on Mar 27, 2009....
pieter; thanks for sharing piet... ;-) -
uniquely-ironic said on Mar 27, 2009....
No, I wouldn't. I can understand the stress and anxiety of losing your job, but in the end I'd find a way to survive. -
auroralost said on Mar 27, 2009....
If I were to go to work today and lose my job................I would head out grab a drink with some friends and breathe a sigh of relief. I know that may sound crappy to those looking for a job, but I hate mine. I started job hunting this week in fact. There are some things where I can understand why someone would take that step. I try not to judge to harshly when someone does. We do not live their life or in their head. Things that are just a struggle for me may be unbearable for someone else. -
BEWELL said on Mar 27, 2009....
I would party!! I hate my jobs so much! I will not quit as I do need the money but if they fired me I would make more on unemployment then at work, due to a 3 months when I worked two jobs and have a very high income. NY State takes your best 3 months in the last year to determen your unemployment check. I would make twice as much as I do working at this retail job! -
beyondtheveil said on Mar 27, 2009....
I wouldn't for losing a job. There are situations where I would, but not for a job.
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queenparanoia said on Mar 27, 2009....
uniquely: well i guess some easily lost hope.
auroralost: well that's life... i'm jobless by the way...
bewell: well that's good for you!
beyond: well i hope you wont encounter those situations...
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Hegemone said on Mar 27, 2009....
Well I don't think I'd commit suicide if I lost my job. I might become a raging bitch for a little while, I might even dip into some depression, but more than likely I'd just be mad and make anybody who crossed my path very sorry that they had. I couldn't imagine killing myself over a lost job, but then I also believe that if you choose to commit suicide over that, you had some underlying issues that had nothing to do with the job ... the job loss just sparked it all into motion. -
queenparanoia said on Mar 27, 2009....
hegemone: well i guess so. they said the lady has some issues so maybe she has some mental health problems... i was suprise she survive though... -
PieterOpie said on Mar 27, 2009....
I heard that about 85% of Americans hate their job. That is an amazing statistic. It is so extreme that I wonder if it's right or whether I have remembered it incorrectly. That would be a very disgruntled workforce.
To be honest I cannot remember anyone saying that they actually like their job.
I do remember that the figure was unbelievably high, so perhaps it is right. It was on the Oprah show.... she knows EVERYTHING..... so I dare not question it.
It is unwise to screw with the forces of nature. (tremble.....)
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fragglesrock said on Mar 27, 2009....
i would be devastated for sure. suicide would not be my first thought and i hope it wouldn't come to a point of depression where it was a thought. but i think the fact is that noone can say what they would or wouldn't do until they walk a mile in that situation -
BewareTheQuiet0nes said on Mar 27, 2009....
No. I know that my family and friends would be in my face reminding me that things always have a way of working out eventually. They'd probably also remind me that the last (and only)job I was laid off from was a HUGE blessing afterall- if I hadn't been let go, I wouldn't have met my guy or had the nerve to switch careers. So I'd be far worse off if I hadn't gone through all of that and been forced to pick myself up again...and there's also my daughter to consider. I wouldn't leave her like that. -
CreativeWoman said on Mar 27, 2009....
Never.
CW
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queenparanoia said on Mar 27, 2009....
piet: well a job is a job. we need it in order to survive...
fraggle: i guess she couldnt take that's why she just decided to just end her life... sad isnt?
beware: well i'm happy that you didnt consider suicide... ;-)
cw: good...
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satanx said on Mar 27, 2009....
This is a very sad story. Suicide is not the solution to anything. One can still understand how this woman feels. This sort of thing is going on world wide. Seek help from family and friends.
No matter how bad you have it someone has it worse.
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starchini said on Mar 27, 2009....
I believe hell on earth is a joy ride compared to what hell in hell would be. Its very sad when people think that suicide is the best and only option. Id like to believe that I would never commit suicide, I myself have contemplated it a time or two, I think everyone has atleast thought about it. I believe suicide is a first class ticket to hell, so I would never commit it, not ever. However if I didnt believe that, I prolly would. I mean, without the possibility of instant damnation, why not? -
Psych-ed said on Mar 27, 2009....
Queen I was just having this conversation with a friend of mine yesterday. A woman that she used to work with committed suicide about a week ago, she was laid off last year hadn't been able to find a job and I guess was just so depressed that she didn't want to live anymore. It's very sad she had a 13 year old son. But I personally don't think that I could kill myself, I would have to believe that things would get better. I also wouldn't want to put the people that loved and cared about me through that. Maybe I'm being a bit self-centered, but I wouldn't want them to have to live without me. -
mixednuts said on Mar 27, 2009....
I would only take my own life to save the life of a child or a person I love. -
pusscat said on Mar 27, 2009....
I think the loss of her job was most likely the 'straw that broke the camel's back'. I know that you do understand that state of mind queenie and i can see why you are asking the question.
One thing I realised when I was off work for a long time, once when I shattered my ankle and once when I was made redundant is how much routine, seeing people day in and day out and chatting with them and being with them, was important in my life. I became very depressed at home without all that interchange with folk on different levels. Recently, as many of you will know, I became very depressed when CJ went in for his first spinal operation. I can honestly say that going to work, having routine and daily contact with poeple, my work keeping me very focussed and busy was my saviour. The mind will do strange things to itself when it is not occupied. If I had not been in employment, I could have gone down my own severe depression route that has led to the awful suicidal thoughts invading me. i totally see where that poor, poor lady was at the time that she lost her job. . . already carrying the last straw. . .
mixednuts - that is so touching what you just said. You often say such very deep things that really move me :)
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Lucytorial said on Mar 27, 2009....
I have never and will never think suicide is an option unless like moon it is to save the life of someone I love.Suicide degrades all those who are left to live with you selfish legacy. Cop out. I know thats strong and I'm sure other have felt low and blue enough but I can catagorically state I see suicide as pure selfishness. -
cntlvmenuf said on Mar 27, 2009....
I'm with Lucy on this one. I think that suicide is selfish because the ones left behind are left with a burden of trying to figure out all the "what ifs."
But on the other hand, I can sort of sympathize with people who feel that death is their only way out. Sometimes life can feel so unforgiving....and who's to tell she hasn't already asked for help from her immediate family only to be turned down? I think there is more to the story than just loosing her job. You know there is also the walking dead, people who have lost their will to live and become a shell of sorts.
I think the only way most of us can survive is not by becoming victims of our own minds. -
BewareTheQuiet0nes said on Mar 27, 2009....
A guy who used to work with me shot himself on Christmas eve. He had been given "early retirement"-federal employees are encouraged to do this right now to save our employers $$. - he was barely 50 and really an easy hit to work with but when he wasn't working anymore he lost it. There were stories floating around work about people seeing him around and acting weird. He just lost it. His family had him committed to a hospital and he was home for Christmas only one day when he shot himself. If a person is determined to end his life, sometimes there's only so much you can do to stop them. I don't know where he got the gun. -
BewareTheQuiet0nes said on Mar 27, 2009....
An easy GUY to work with, that is...damned predictive text... -
Yaboyndot said on Mar 27, 2009....
No and not just because I dont particularly like my job either.. the pay is good and benefits are great but the enviroment sucks.. I guess its just I have experienced and have known people who have experienced far worst things adn there is always some sort of resolution... job loss especially in our economy is far too common a thing to sacrafice your life for -
Finaldaze said on Mar 27, 2009....
No I would not kill myself simply over losing a job. I have however, considered, pondered, planned suicide...
Today is my daughter's 17th birthday. She has opted to live with her dad. She's been there for more than a year. She said I wasn't a bad mom, she just wanted a chance to have a relationship with him and for a fresh start. He's several states away from me, so she has effectively started all over. I think her departure is when things really started to crumble for me.
It's not obvious to outsiders I don't think... I have a good job with a good company... I am quite involved in our local community. I am generally an upbeat person. I was once told that I was a lot like a morning radio host - always upbeat, with-it, connected to current events...
Not anymore... I have lost interest in all things that once mattered to me. I was going to school part time - paid for by my company - no interest. I was walking regularly as a fitness release and eating right... I lost more than 30 pounds. I gained more than 15 pounds now in less than one year.
I am no longer interested in reading - I used to read every night. Every genre - anything. Not anymore.
I have lost contact with my friends - it's work and home. And once home, there's really nothing. No interests... no hobbies... no sports. Nothing.
Today is the day, on my daughter's birthday, that I was going to commit suicide. I have it planned, but I'm not yet prepared. My husband and step sons are gone for the weekend. Everything was lining up nicely.
Even if I was somehow not entirely successful, if left on my own - half dead, all weekend, I would surely be gone by Sunday when they got home.
I could do it now, I guess, but I want to leave things in order for my family. Isn't that funny? Telling, I suppose. I want to bag up all of my things that should just be tossed. I want to bag up all things that should go to charity. I want to leave instructions for what I want my husband to do with my jewelry. I don't want it to go to my daughter.
I want him to sell it for the best possible price. (We're not talking a lot of high dollar stuff, here, but there are some nice pieces...) I then want him to send the money to one of my sisters. I then want her to coordinate a sort of "habitat for humanity" kind of day for my other sister. I want them to buy all the necessary supplies, but all of my brothers-in-law to work together providing free labor on house projects for my sweet sister. She is so great, deserves so much, and has so little.
I need to document where things stand on a variety of my current community service projects so they don't falter.
I even want to mow the lawn so my family doesn't have to worry about that for a little while.
I think my husband will struggle a bit. He's very sweet and I think he truly loves me. My step children? No. They will be fine.
My daughter? She will be fine. We have lost touch. It's so very sad.
My sisters? There will be sadness and shock, but they will be fine.
My co-workers - fellow community service friends? They will all be very shocked. Sad? Probably not - we weren't all that close.
I'm going to take a break. I have never, ever blogged before. This is it, huh? How ironic.
Night.
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RollingC said on Mar 27, 2009....
I've been affected by suicide in the family and I know first hand how it feels to have a loved one just give up totally. I wouldn't opt for that way out. I can't say never but I can say I don't know what would make me decide to commit suicide.
To be hurt that way once makes me realize that I wouldn't want to make anybody go through that.
Rc
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queenparanoia said on Mar 27, 2009....
satanx: well i dont really know what happened to the woman but according to the news they gave her some psychological treatment...
starchini: thanks for sharing in what you believe in star.
psych-ed: i think it's more selfish if you kill yourself. i mean just look at the woman. don't you think it's selfish that she killed her self when she has a child? suicide is selfish. deciding to live is not...
mixednuts: :-)
pusscat: one of the reason i got depressed last week was because i have no job. and yes the mind do strange stuff when it is not occupied... well i'll send positive vibes for cj. i hope he's operation is a success...
lucy: i agree. suicide is selfish.
beware: wow. if you really put your mind into it then you'll really do it. it's just sad that he decide to kill himslef... very sad indeed.
yaboyndot: well good to know that you wont kill youre self... ;-)
finaldaze; there is a reason why you blog it here. i dont know what youre thinking right now and i understand why you need to do this. but i hope you hold on to life because there is more to life than what we see... so please stay alive...
rollingc: i can see youre very selfless rollingc... ;-)
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PieterOpie said on Mar 27, 2009....
Does anyone think a big company cares one bit if a fired employee kills themselves? No, an ex-worker is no longer their concern. Humans are treated like commodities. We are slaves in the economic system. We are paid just enough to survive and the excess is spent on buying goods from our employers. Our taxes go to supporting the machine that protects that economic system and the workers are only considered if there is enough trouble to force them to change. However unions have been slowly made weaker and weaker and the capitalists have clawed back the old times. Globalisation has allowed them to shift things around so that we cannot find the currently exploited workforce while they undermine things at home. Now that things have crashed, the workers are a nuisance, they are expendable. You are unwanted trouble....
The emotional ones who trusted the system are the victims who cannot cope with this complete rejection and seek death as a release. It is criminal!!!
This is the system we all supported with our politics. It is time to see capitalism for what it is. Pure exploitation. Only you can help to change it.
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Psych-ed said on Mar 27, 2009....
Queen that's what I meant, suicide is sefish. Sorry I guess it came across the other way around. -
Psych-ed said on Mar 27, 2009....
Queen that's what I meant, suicide is sefish. Sorry I guess it came across the other way around. -
queenparanoia said on Mar 27, 2009....
psych-ed: dont worry. no harm done... ;-) -
Psych-ed said on Mar 27, 2009....
Queen that's what I meant, suicide is sefish. Sorry I guess it came across the other way around. -
queenparanoia said on Mar 27, 2009....
pych-ed: like i said no harm done... ;-) -
Psych-ed said on Mar 27, 2009....
The computers acting weird it keeps posting, just delete them. Sorry! -
queenparanoia said on Mar 27, 2009....
don't worry it's okay... ;-) -
PieterOpie said on Mar 27, 2009....
Suicide may be selfish, but..........
Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see...
that suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it's too late, and...
The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say.
The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
and to another give my seat
for that's the only painless feat.
The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...
A brave man once requested me
to answer questions that are key
is it to be or not to be
and I replied 'oh why ask me?'
'Cause suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
...and you can do the same thing if you please.
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Finaldaze said on Mar 28, 2009....
PieterOpie, I really like the poem. I hope you don't mind, I have added it to my journal. I didn't claim to write it, but acknowledged I found it online. I have maintained a journal for more than seven or eight years. It's more than 3,000 pages. It's all in MS Word, multiple volumes, housed on a flash drive - password protected. I'll leave my password for my husband. -
PieterOpie said on Mar 28, 2009....
The poem is actually the Theme from "M.A.S.H."
(Suicide is Painless.)
But I will take the credit if I can get away with it. Do I get a royalty cheque? Huh???
Please...........
oh come on...... you're rich......
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Finaldaze said on Mar 28, 2009....
Good to see you still have your sense of humor! -
pusscat said on Mar 28, 2009....
Finaldaze - I would like to see you stay. . .
I have been in the 'planning stages' before. I have also been in the 'driven out to a lonely spot with tablets' stage too. I bottled it and blogged about it. Someone read my blog and reached out to me to help. He understood where I had just been, what I had nearly done. He is now the wonderful man in my life :-) Yes - he found me right here on Soulcast. Was it fate? Was it destiny? I believe there is a reason for everything. If I had not gone through what I had we would never have found each other. He is my life now.
When people are not with us in person, they are still in our hearts. You say your sister will be 'fine'. Your husband will be 'fine'. Grief hurts, yes, but we do learn to live with it. Guilt is less forgiving I'm afraid. Guilt is what the people left behind feel. All the questions they have that can never be answered. . ."how come we didn't realise?". "What could we have done to stop her?". I should have noticed something was wrong". "I wish I could tell her how much I love her but I can't now". These will go on in their hearts and minds till the day they die. they will never have any peace. Please do not leave this legacy with those you love and care about Finaldaze.
Depression is a bitch - I know, I live with it every day of my life and always will. No one should ever have to live it alone though. TELL those you love how you feel. Let them support you. I would hate to think my sister couldn't tell me how she was feeling and ask me for help. See a specialist - whether a GP or Psychologist or Psychotherapist and get that help that you so deserve. You have given a lot to your community and family and friends, now let them give back to you hun. PLEASE.
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Finaldaze said on Mar 28, 2009....
My intent is not guilt. I just don’t want to be here anymore. Why should they feel any obligation to keep me around or save me? Why can’t I just do what I want? Why can’t I just go away?
In the same way that I don’t want those around me to feel obligated to save me or guilty that they couldn’t, I don’t want to feel obligated to stay for them.
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Psych-ed said on Mar 28, 2009....
Final have you talked to anyone about how you've been feeling? Also, do you know for sure that the people who love you will be ok? Like your daughter,has she said that she be fine and able and able to live without you.She's still young and probably doesn't know it yet but she really needs you.When I was a teenager and in my early 20's I didn't really want my mom around, I thought I could take care of myself, I was an adult! But for the past few years especially since I got married I find myself wanting to talk to her, ask her questions about just being a woman.My mom and I don't have a good relationship at all but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish we could just sit down and have a civil conversation. I wish I could talk to her about my marriage and about having children. I look around at my friends and the relationships they have with their mothers and I feel so much pain and anger. It makes me feel that I have no one in this world. Yes my husband loves me and a few of my friends too, maybe even my dad when there's no woman in his life. But I still feel empty like only the love from a mother could fill that void. I've never really cared before but once I got married everything changed and I didn't want to but I felt I needed a relationship with my mom, and I think at some point in her life your daughter will too. No one could ever replace you! -
Finaldaze said on Mar 28, 2009....
Psych-ed,
No, I have not really talked with anyone. I have met with a therapist twice in the past few weeks. No success – good doctors and bad doctors. This one spent more time talking about other cases and his family than talking about me.
I know I’m not well. I know I’m not who I used to be. I do want that person back, but there just isn’t any energy or commitment to do anything about it. I went to the doctor hoping he would pull all of this out of me. That didn’t happen and I didn’t offer up any additional detail. I didn’t withhold information, he just didn’t ask.
And, no I don’t know for certain everyone will be ok, but I strongly suspect that will be the case. My daughter lives with her dad now, several states away. She has basically cut off contact with me except when I push my way in with email and phone calls.
Both of my parents are gone. My father died when I was seven. My mother died when I was pregnant with my daughter.
I appreciate your words, but I really, really believe all will be just fine once I’m gone. There will be an initial, obligatory grieving process, but not much more I suspect.
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Psych-ed said on Mar 28, 2009....
Well Final I know how hard it can be to find a "good" therapist but they are out there. Have you thought about group therapy? It might help to talk to and hear from people who may be feeling the same way that you do. As for your daughter I think she's just trying to express her independence. I think that the mother-daughter relationship is one of the most complicated, but I think your daughter needs you more than either one of you could know right now. -
speaking_up said on Apr 10, 2009....
Only people who have never felt so low as to kill themselves would say it is painless. Suicide is the most painful experience one could ever encounter. Recovering from a suicide makes things worse.It wasn't her time. If it is not your time, you cannot die. Ask me. -
HopelessAlone said on Aug 21, 2009....
It's a scary thought and it's not that people give up hope but that hope gives up on them. If one is homeless and temp agencies only want to pay $9-10 and hour and want you to driver 30-45 mins in heavy traffic and the car is used and don't forget taxes,a place to live, fuel prices,food(not that I care about that) but paying property taxes on a vehicle and one has no family around and making sure one keeps insurance on a vehicle and keeping prices on cell phone low. It's like these places waste your time and tell you they have a job but then when you get there, no job, wasted gas that you really couldn't afford to waste and it's been hot/muggy and no a/c in one's used vehicle and one feels like no one,especially family cares. You can bet the people are "rich" aren't worrying about this. So I feel pretty bad today and not having a job for over 8 months and I don't have a significant other to be emotionally supportive and I feel so alone. I'm depressed and I just want a decent paying job... I want to live but it's like "they" or hope doesn't want people to live. Its the religious thing not that Im that religious but I feel alone and like no one really cares. Does anyone out there care?!
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