Okay so I need some help... I am physically sick from all this shit and I still have no idea what the hell to do!
Here is the deal:
I found out yesterday that my husband, who most of you know I love dearly, has spoken to a couple of other women online... He didn't do anything all that serious but for me it is major and he knew that it would be.. I've been hurt alot in the past and I've been down the road of having a cheating spouse.. My hubby didn't get that far, he didn't cheat, but it looked to be headed there...
I don't handle lying any better than I handle cheating... He says that the first girl was nothing and the one that I think was leading to something he said he never talked to yet I have proof that he did... He still says that he didnt or that if he did he doesnt remember it...
I was married before, my ex was my first love and he was very very special to me... He also broke my heart... He cheated on me from the very beginning and would always come up with these stupid lies that didnt even make sense, and because I loved him I would believe him... I went through that for 6 years, I ended up hating myself for still loving him and I finally called it quits...
My entire life has been filled with crappy men who mistreat and misuse women.. My father is that way... My brother has become like him... My ex was that way... Other meaningless boyfriends that way.... I thought I had it right this time.... I guess I was wrong again.....
As most of you know who have been reading my posts, we have 5 beautiful kids together... My husband is a good father and he has been a good husband but he has broken whats inside me and I dont know what to do... Part of me wants to try to see if this can be fixed but part of me wants to just walk away from him.... I cant even look at him because every time I do I see what he said to her.... He even called her what he has always called me....
I'm so lost and hurt... I have no idea where to go from here....
