Dear American International Group Executives,

 

I have been doing my best to follow the events of the recession as closely as I can.  I've been reading about it in my trusty San Francisco Chronicle, and watching the news reports on PBS.  I even saw Mr. Liddy try and explain himself before a hearing, and my roommate and I got so angry we hurled our slippers at the TV.  Yes, it's still working.  I'm sure the hearing must be on YouTube somewhere, but I'm wary about watching it again and breaking my laptop in frustration.  And while I am by no means an expert when it comes to the free market, I do have a few words of advice for you.

 

As you, I, and the rest of the developed world all know, the economy is in the toilet.

 

People need to tighten their purses, wallets and jaws in order to deal with all of the shit that's come down on us since your company came close to imploding.  And, like a gaggle of twitchy meth junkies, your executives (along with others) went desperately begging for alms from our government--in effect, our tax-dollar distributor--because AIG is "too big to fail."

 

I call bullshit.  If your business fails, it fails.  That's how free market works, assholes.  And if other companies suffer because of your fucking incompetance, you've only got yourselves to blame.

 

I will point out that AIG is hardly the only corporation with red ink on its hands, and there will be future letters to other greedy corporate bastards as the events unfold, but I need to make my point.

 

You fail, AIG.  And now, last I checked, you are effectively the property of the United States' government and, by extension, hard-working tax-payers.  We gave you this rescue money--$170 BILLION of it, so far--to help you with your debt settlements and infrastructure retooling.  So consider this part to be just a friendly reminder that your asses belong to US.

 

And, not only did your company still manage to lose $61.7 billion, your idea of "infrastructure retooling" is giving BONUSES to the people in the financial division who CAUSED this mess in the first place?  My taxes are going to the "credit default swap" fraudsters?

 

If I may quote Jon Stewart, "FUCK YOU!"

 

Here's a little anecdote to illustrate my point:  One of my co-workers--who's not only constantly late, but also makes some serious mistakes on a regular basis and fucks up the rest of our jobs as a result...  before we realized that America was in a recession, this arrogant pisspot had the temerity to ask my boss for a raise because, in his own words, "I've been working here three years, and this company owes me for all my hard work."

 

You know what he got?  LAUGHED AT.  In his face.  In front of everybody.  Since the economic down-turn, the pisspot's been VERY lucky he hasn't gotten his ass fired.  Yet.  But it's a safe bet that his neck's gonna be next on the proverbial chopping block, if it comes to that.  And it probably will.  Good fucking riddance.

 

This is a hard-working country, goddamn it, and if people don't do their jobs right, they should be fucking grateful to have an occupation at all, much less get an hourly paycheck just for half-assing.

 

But million-dollar bonuses for incompetant fuck-ups?  That is unacceptable on every ethical level there is.  Bonuses are for people who do stellar, consistent, exemplary work.  Incompetant fuck-ups are the very last people who should be claiming their "right" to anything even remotely resembling a bonus.

 

Worse yet?  According the AP news (via Yahoo!), "AIG has argued that retention bonuses are crucial to pulling the company out of its crisis. Without the bonuses, the company says, top employees who best understand AIG's business would leave."

 

AIG executives, I know damn well that you don't want to hear this, but you need to hear it, so I'm going to give it to you straight.  Your company, whether you like it or not, is now the toxic cesspool of Wall Street.  You permitted an environment where greedy pigs and corporate fuck-ups could flourish with play-money out of tax-payer pockets, and not face any repercussions for their incompetance.  Which, by the way, has pretty much all but toppled a good percentage of the American economy, to say nothing of the GLOBAL economy, which I'm quite sure is howling pissed at us again.

 

You asshats get a fucking generous government bailout package--several, in fact--and you're actually REWARDING those greedy pigs and fuck-ups who got us into this mess?  Because you're piss-your-pants scared that they'll all throw hissy fits and walk out on their precious jobs if you dare to take away their undeserved million-dollar bonuses?

 

Fine!  Take back the money and let them leave.  See who'll hire those corporate typhoid-marys now.

 

I fucking dare you.

 

Or you could let those fat sows keep their ill-gotten gains... until the IRS taxes the fuck out of them.  Because, one way or another, we're going to get that money back.

 

So are you going to do the right thing and make your so-called "top employees" squirm, or are you going to let those bottom-feeding fuck-ups walk all over you and run up your frivolous debts?

 

Because time's running out, and I hear-tell Switzerland's not going to be a tax-haven for fraudsters much longer.

 

Sincerely,

BlueHotRage