• SeanRenaud said on Aug 30, 2006....

  I have done a little bit of research into these matters but I don't think that what you are proposing is fair.
  
  I believe if the woman want's to keep the baby and the man does not, he should have the right (lets say in the first trimester to make it similar to abortion) to say that he doesn't want the child and he can get off scotfree, no harm no foul.
  
  There are two reasons for this, the first is the obvious double standard. We are holding the man to a higher standard than the woman. She can bail out if she desires but the man is trapped. The second reason is my being pragmatic. The only men that get screwed by this are good men. It can ruin a good man's life, like it would mine if I were in that position. However a deadbeat dad, absent father etc etc isn't paying anyway.
  
  So ultimately you'd merely take away one tool for women to trap men.
  
  2. Women does not want the baby, man does. If he declares his intent to take care of it he should atleast be given a chance to find a surrogate mother. It is her body, it is her choice. But its his child also and if he can find a way to bring it into the world without her then he should be given that chance.
  

• Basseman said on Aug 30, 2006....

  I agree with you.
  
  My concern was the second situation. I have my son he is 15 now, I don't see my life with out him. It was not plan pregnancy . When I think about it I have no clue what would've happen if his mother had decided to have an abortion.
  
  And kee in mind he lives with since he was 2.
  
  I have a friend of Mine who did Not get that chance....
  

• Delite said on Aug 30, 2006....

  1. She wants the baby, the man does not want to baby, if she gets pregnant thin it becomes both of there reasonable, yes some women trick men and they do end up pregnant, but the men should have taken reasonability in the first place and worn a condom, even if the women said that she is on birth control. I know condoms are only 99.97% of preventing a pregnancy but when you have sex that is the risk you are taking. I don’t think women should ever bail out. There job is to be a mother, that is there risk of having sex.
  2. Women does not want the baby, man does I agree with SeanRenaud find a surrogate mother.
  
  Bottom line if you are not ready for kids then don’t take the risk of having sex.
  

• Basseman said on Aug 30, 2006....

  2-
  
  woman does not want kids, man does. I am still talking about unplaned pregnancy . If a couple get pregnant and the woman does not want the kid but the man does.
  
  I am just saying that in both situation the woman has the upper hand.
  
  Some women take adventage of it and good men get screwed.....
  

• SeanRenaud said on Aug 30, 2006....

  This idea is medeval. We have the ability to protect ourselves against pregnancy both before and after the course. It is a proven fact that people living in countries where sex is a normal part of our lives. It isn't even open to inteligent debate that we are happier, healthier and live longer due in part to our sex lives.
  
  Children raised in low income families, particularly to parents who had their lives interupted nearly invariably lead bad lives. Or they get dumped in trashcans.
  
  Even if you want to work with the idea that people shouldn't do something until X, or that X is wrong. We live in reality and need to legislate accordingly.
  

• hotnsexygirl said on Aug 30, 2006....

  I don't beleive a women should ever be forced to conceive a child. especially, if she accidentally becomes pregnant. It's a tough thing if one night causes a pregnancy that one wants and the other doesnt. I don't agree with what delite said on a womens job is being a mother. It's an amazing gift, but there are some people not fit to be parents or just choose not to and shouldnt be forced to be on either side because whatever form of birth control becomes ineffective. it's funny how the first thing people worry about is pregancy, but yet they don't worry about STD's. anyway, if a women chooses to have a kid even from a one night stand as an example. She shouldn't force a man to be in it's life or pay child support that part just wouldn't be right, but I don't agree with her to ever be forced to have a baby against her will.
  

• ben_2_go said on Aug 31, 2006....

  I'm gonna piss someone off with this one.I belive a woman has the right to do with her body as a man does with his.She should have the option to abort.I do however,feel she should let the father know her intentions.I have in the past paid child support,everyman that helps produce a child should.I currently have my 2 sons living with me,and I have no wife or girlfriend.No!I'm not gay either.Just trying to teach my children how to prioritize their lives.Family 1st-friends 2nd-fun along the way
  

• secretlife said on Aug 31, 2006....

  There's no "get off scott free" in this situation.
  Sorry.
  It's very very simple.
  Be responsible.
  Having sex isn't like playing monopoly where there's a 'get out of jail free card'
  
  Woman get impregnated.
  Men impregnate.
  
  Rule 1
  If you don't want babies, then you proactively protect against them or you lose the right to ANY say in the matter because you were just plain stupid.
  
  When it's yourbody then you get the right to decide.
  And only you.
  
  If this seems unfair to you, then I suggest you take responsibility for your sexual behavior. Again, as the impregnators, you definately have control over this.
  The same logic holds true for the case where she doesn't want the child and you do.
  
  Sorry, but if you aren't in a relationship where children are being discussed, then you get no say.
  

• SeanRenaud said on Aug 31, 2006....

  Secretlife, can you give a single reason why I shouldn't be given a chance to find a surrogate?
  

• secretlife said on Aug 31, 2006....

  Because then the woman has to undergo a procedure to have the embreyo implanted in someone else. This is a procedure done to the woman's body and not to your own body.
  
  I don't think you have any rights in that matter.
  
  Sorry, I still stay you could decide to do anything you want with your own body, but not with someone else's.
  
  If you want a child, then you should find a surrogate on your own and get an egg donor. Then it's two adults making a choice.
  

• SeanRenaud said on Aug 31, 2006....

  I'll agree based on the fact that I don't know how how the procedure differs from abortion. If it is the same procedure roughly then I can't support you. The man should get that tiny bit of control, that if he can find a woman willing to be a surrogate he should be able to have a chance at saving his child.
  

• Basseman said on Sep 01, 2006....

  Guys,
  
  I have a son, he is now 15 years old. I took care of my resonpsibilities when I was face with this situation. I would make th esame decisions if I had to do it all over again. That is not the issue.
  
  I do believe men should take care of the child once born. I believe it is the right thing to do. Now the issue is because of the way the system works guys gets the short hand of the stick.
  
  Secretlite you are right, if a man gets a woman pregnant he should step upt to the plate. As you said there is no get out of jail free card. But now the women gets accidently pregnant and does not want the baby, she has a get out a jail free card.....
  
  Now tell me is that fare........... You may say yes.........
  
  Because of that if we go back to a few years ago, there has been alot of situations in the news where men take control of the situation themselves, they either kill the woman, or force an abortion etc....
  Thats the worng way to handle it, but when people believe they are cornered and they have no way out they will do the unthinkable.
  And I know my girl friend will say" Oh yeah then he spends the rest of life in Jail" but you know what that will happen after the child and the mother are dead............
  
  You have ball palyers making that decision all the time..........
  
  I think some day this issue will have to be addressed...........
  

• secretlife said on Sep 01, 2006....

  I don't consider an abortion to be a 'get out of jail free' situation.
  
  A get out of jail free situation is the guy who gets to walk away while she has to deal with having that it-
  
  And if he doesn't want to walk away, then he can go and sit in the waiting room of the clinic while she undergoes the surgical procedure on her body.
  

• Basseman said on Sep 02, 2006....

  That will be my last input in the subject, unfortunately the point I was trying pass along was not understood.
  
  I have to admit this was my first time blogging and I enjoyed it, I hope we can have more discussion in the future about any subject...
  
  Have a good Labor Day weekend.
  

• secretlife said on Sep 02, 2006....

  you too; stay dry
  

• TRACYN2DEEP said on Apr 21, 2007....

  I KNOW THIS LADY WHO HAD A PRETTY GOOD HUSTLE GOING,IN ST LOUIS. SHE WOULD PRETEND TO BE PREGNANT AND NEED ABORTION MONEY FROM THE MEN ,SO IF YOU LOOK AT ABOUT 250 DOLLARS TIMES 30 SUCKERS A MONTH LIKE ME THATS A PRETTY GOOD JOB

• anonymous said on Apr 15, 2008....

  Hell, no man should pay for a child he didn't want. A woman can ask a man to wear a condom. The Pill is easy to get Just think about it. It is a lot easier to wait till marriage or till one makes enough money on one's own to have a kid than to get desperate after having a kid that a man doesn't want and then demand money. Society always discusses deadbeat Dads. Turn the table on its head for once. What about deadbeat Moms? Why do so many women choose to get pregnant out of wedlock? Accidental pregnancies are usually not accidental. Unless the woman was assaulted, coerced or had some medical condition such as infertility and was unlikely to get pregnant it isn't accidental. Misuse of birth control is carelessness and is not accidental. It is relatively easy to use the Pill properly--it comes with instructions. I know. I am on it. Men should only have to pay child support for kids they want. If they marry the woman, then they might have to but joint custody is better than sole custody in most situations. If the man doesn't want to see the kid, then he shouldn't pay. This would prevent women from getting pregnant to trap a man into financially supporting them and marrying them through fatherhood or just unwanted parenting. Then when they leave and refuse to see the kid or pay for it, they can't be held accountable through vindictiveness to get money. Ask men. Thi s is often what they think. Unwanted children are unwanted children. They are not being brought onto this Earth because both parents want them. That does matter unless you think it is acceptable for a hooker to flag down a truck and get laid by the driver, then have a kid and raise it out of that situation. Seems to me anything is permissible these days. At least do not drag down the men and children into this mess. If the kids aren't wanted, it would be better to get an abortion, hand them over to relatives to raise them or put them up for adoption.

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