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It seems as if it’s difficult to find a sex partner you can trust that has the same interest in sex as you do.  You may be attracted to that person, you may love to fuck that person, but sometimes it seems as if the person you’re with isn’t into the same sex interests that you’re into.  It’s like the equilibrium has changed, the pendulum constantly swaying, while you’re wanting to try different things, and your partner isn’t.

Being stuck in a rut when it comes to sex is such a frustrating thing.  Often, when you’re in a romantic relationship, sometimes you just don’t want to do the same missionary/blowjob/pussy eating/in bed thing that you’ve always done.  Sometimes you want to try a new sex game, or be tied up in bed, or want to fuck in a different “venue”, or want to bring in a third party, etc…and someone isn’t willing or wanting to spoil the fun.  And then, you feel like an ass because you’re always the one making up new ideas, and you’re stringing along your partner because your partner is just too lazy or too scared or just isn’t imaginative enough to do something new in the sack, and you end up doing the same old boring thing.

Don’t get me wrong – sex is an awesome experience.  I wouldn’t turn down a good fuck at all (mind you, key word here is “good”, LOL).  But sometimes, the same type of sex over and over and over again can get kind of…well...STALE.  You definitely want to try something new once that happens, right?

I run into that problem quite often, and I believe there are a lot of you that do too.  I understand that there will be things that you aren’t willing to do, and there will be some disagreements, and that’s fine.  What frustrates me is the fact that some people aren’t willing to try something new.

What is it about experimentation in sex that scares people away?  Is it the fact that they don’t want to be labeled as a “sex freak”, an abnormal type of person in society?  That we all have to share the same types of sexual frustrations, fuck the same way, through all the rigid avenues of the whitest of vanilla sex?  That just seems like a boring way to live life, in my honest opinion.

The mind is such a sexual organ, and if we don’t use that, we are wasting our sexual lives away.  Even if all you want to do is vanilla sex, you could think of surprising your partner with a trail of sexy notes in all of his pockets, or leaving a cum-soaked lacy thong under his pillow, or play some kind of sexual foreplay…or better yet, experiment with a whip and a paddle, decked in leather…

There is nothing wrong with stretching your imagination and experimenting in sex.  Be willing to open your minds and expand your sexual limitations, and learn something new about sex, and about yourself.  Listen to your partners, maybe you may find out about something new that you’ll want to add to your sex favorites!!


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Comments

  • kinkykouple said on Mar 18, 2009....
    I totally agree with you here! We all need to be willing to experiment in a relationship. Its what keeps things fresh and new.. I truly think that if more were willing to experiment sexually the divorce rate in this country would drop significantly.
     
    I think alot of the reason people don't try new things sexually though is basically just like you said. I think that we are programmed by society and in some cases by our families to believe that sex is dirty or immoral in some way. There are instances where this is true but it isnt true for the majority.
     
    When you are married or in a relationship sex is never dirty or immoral. As long as you are both in agreement about what you are doing and what you want and need then it is perfectly okay to try anything you want.
     
    I'm one of the lucky ones I guess as I married a man  who is my sexual equal. He is always willing to try new things and he regularly comes up with the things we try.
     
    I have also been in the other type of relationship where either there is no trying new things or sex is all one sided, it really sucks when a relationship is like that!
     
  • sexconfessions69 said on Mar 18, 2009....
    Hi kinkykouple!
     
    Just read your blogs, wow they are hot...I definitely envy you two, it seems as if you two are a match made in heaven...LOL  :-)
     
    I completely agree with you, there would be less divorce if there were more open-minded people...sex is one of the things that makes this world go round...
     
    I can name the men I've slept with who were too stringent in their ways...I think all of them were to some point (even the one into BDSM, b/c all they could do was BDSM, they weren't willing to try anything that was vanilla)...
     
    Hopefully I'll end up as lucky as you are!
  • Swingman said on Mar 22, 2009....
    So I get by reading this blog that you are female and your guy doesn't want to experiment and try new things?  What?   This guy needs something like a cross between an intervention and a cuff upside the head.  :)
  • sexconfessions69 said on Mar 22, 2009....
    Swingman - I am currently single, but I'm talking about guys that I've been with in the past were somewhat rigid about experimentation - where I would be the one coming up with new ideas, and they rarely made attempts to try something new...I just want to find a guy that is willing to meet me half way with finding new ways of exploring sex, rather than me coming up with most of the ideas...
  • kinkykouple said on Mar 23, 2009....
    sexconfessions69- Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed my posts :) actually I am about to post a new one :)
    I'm sure you will find a man out there who is your sexual equal it just takes  a bit of looking at times lol...
    Its funny how it used to be the other way around and us women were viewed as the prudes! Now its the men who have stepped into that role and worse yet alot of them are intemidated by a woman who knows her own body and sexual needs...
    For the hubby and I sex is a very important part of a strong marriage and we are both willing to work hard to ensure that sex is always new and exciting..
     
    I learned in my first marriage that if you couldnt be completely honest with your mate sexually then it was a sign of other issues... I made sure that when I remarried I was very upfront about what I expected and what I wanted out of our sex life and our life in general.... There are no secrets between us... I even tell him the fantasies I have that I know we would never do because they go outside of his comfort zone.. He may not want to physically do them but he will discuss them and at times they turn him on and lead us to do other things that we hadn't thought of before.
     
    Sexual honesty comes from trust and I fully believe that without these two things a marriage can't survive...

    Wait for it hun, it will come and when it does you will find yourself happier than you would have ever believed possible :)

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