My eldest son makes me sad and angry. Three weeks ago I bonded him out of jail after he was put in for hitting his shrew of a wife. It wasn't a condoning gesture, but a practical one: he can continue to support his household until the trial date. At the time I helped him, I told him and his wife both they needed to stay apart until the trial because they're just not doing right and I don't want to be on the hook for the total bail, nor do I want anything worse to happen. Son blubbered and cried and declared he agreed. Three days later, he's got her back at home. I understand love, but I do not approve. A couple of months apart would let them both come to grips with themselves. Yet I'm not angry or judging against their reunion. People do what they will, after all. What makes me angry is the non-communication with me. Calls are not answered, even to say "Mom I'm not speaking with you." Text messages go unheeded. I'm certain I've been demonized, placed in a position of blame and there isn't even the courtesy to be honest with me about what they're feeling and thinking, after all I've sacrificed to help them time and again. That's it. No more. They can all fend for themselves.
Comments
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rupert7 said on Mar 15, 2009....
Kids can give a lot of grief...this I know. My youngest son spent 4 years in jail and another 4 on parole. He lives 2000 miles from me and I hardly hear from him these days. Last contact was a couple of months ago when he rang to tell me that I am going to be a granddad in July. He did not give me his phone No. and he has not called back since! Tell me about kids.....sigh -
KathQuiet said on Mar 16, 2009....
Oh that's harsh. My son finally did call back. Once he got my message about my life crumbling (see Second Worst Day of My Life), he relented. Not that he is going to knock himself silly trying to pay back some of the aid I've given. S'alright. It's only money? -
KathQuiet said on Mar 16, 2009....
Oh...rupert. Congratulations on grandfatherhood impending. Maybe the son will soften when he finally understands you through experiencing fatherhood himself. -
rupert7 said on Mar 17, 2009....
I saw both of my sons in Adelaide South Australia about 4 years ago and we got on fine. My wife Jenny and I even spent some time with my ex wife,we all had dinner together and we met the kids of her second marriage.( I met her second husband some years ago,they are divorced so he was not there) My ex was quite friendly and we had a nice evening, also spent time with her for a few hours befor we flew home but no contact since. ( my step son has 2 kids so I have 2 grandkids already,but not blood. *smile* -
stopmediabias said on Mar 17, 2009....
Reminds of a comedian I saw who said if a woman is in a store beating a kid, non-parents looking on will say: "look at what that terrible woman is doing." and parents looking on will say: "Hm, I wonder what that terrible kid did to that poor woman."My son seems to look for trouble where-ever he goes since he turn 10 years old. He just recently moved out at age 19 and visits when we are not around and eats our left-overs. "sigh" All you can do is go with the flow as best you can. Hang in there. :) -
rupert7 said on Mar 18, 2009....
stomp - I have two nieces,that i raised from little kids, they are both in their 20's and even though they make more money than I ever did,they both still come here and eat me out of house and home!.....don't expect it to stop any time soon! lol
KathQ - sorry, I could not resist!
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