I am engaged to be wed 13 Feb 2010. I really really love her more than she will ever know and I will never ever let her go if I can help it.
Problem is I travel a lot. I go away from home for weeks at a time and this is where things go sour.
When I am away she will use every single excuse in the book not to be in contact with me and to make me contact her less. She will tell me she is tired and going to bed and that I shouldn't contact her until she contacts me the following morning. This while I can hear voices in the back ground on the phone. If I ask her what I am hearing she will start accusing me of not believing her and get mad and then eventually just put down the phone.
She always tries to find something to make me guilty. The other day she found very old movie tickets from the time before her. She totally freaked out and went ballistic. This was old stuff she found in a book somewhere and I had no idea of its existence. I threw away everything I had from the past to accommodate her. She wanted a fresh start so I gave it. She on the other hand did not. She still has every little thing from her past. Including bad things and sexual things. I would like her to also start fresh, but she refuses.
I am accused of cheating on a daily base, but I have never ever even slightly considdered cheating on her and I will never. Why does she accuse me the whole time? Why did she clear out my life and not her own? Why does she try to shove me away when I am not home? Why is she always mad at me?
I have felt like giving up the relationship before, but I know I will never. The kind of love I feel for her is not something that you can replace. I will certainly rather die than be without her.
I am out of answers and out of ideas on what to do.
Anunaki posted on Mar 14, 2009
| views: 103
Comments
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husbandhater said on Mar 14, 2009....
Oww. I loved your description you have melted my heart. Welcome to Sc.
Some people are selfdestructive. And we tend to sabotage our own happiness. Could her cheating on you be a real possibility? YES! OR it could also be that she is very insecure b/c of previous things that have gone on in previous relationships. See it's like this....Baggage. And depending on how bad she was hurt. It could be big to her. I haven't read the rest of you posts yet but I will when I get back from my day job before I go to sleep to be fresh for my night job.
I think you should suggest counciling for her. She obviously still has issues to work out and your marriage won't be what it could and should be if she continues like this. Perhaps you should suggest that you start togethet as a couple. You have a year before you are married and you sound as if you want to give her the world. I want that for you too if that's your true intentions.
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Anunaki said on Mar 14, 2009....
I do want to give her the world. If I could I would. I am financially very independent for my age and I give her more than she ever had. This then means I have to travel to get that financial security for us. The time I have when I am not working I devote 100% to her. She does not understand why I do this and sometimes get frustrated if I give her too much attention. She absolutely hates sex with me. Previously she was sexually very active and wanted it (not in my time). This again frustrates me as I want sex with her and only with her. I think you are right about getting her to a pro to help. I am currently not at home and will only be in about 2weeks or so, will speak to her and get her some help. -
husbandhater said on Mar 15, 2009....
She posts here too? I started reading a message someone left. She's not use to being treated like the Queen you regard her as. Let your heart lead the way. It will help you to give her the time she needs to heal from all of the other users,losers,and painful memories of flat out bastards she's dealt with. As a woman I'm telling you that this is part of the problem. If you ever watched T.D.Jake's no more sheets you'd kinda understand and get an idea. Anyhow best of luck dear I'm rooting for you both. -
Anunaki said on Mar 16, 2009....
She used to post on soulcast, but said she doesn't any more. I don't know. I'm very confused today. -
Idk... said on Apr 04, 2009....
Thats almost exactly whats happening to me, i feel your pain man. The girl im with. I love her with that irreplacable love you have with yours...I just wish you the best of luck that everything will be ok.
Comment on "How will I ever be sure?"
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