Ok......Let me 1st say that when I am wrong about something, then I'll admit to it.
After an exhausting amount of research into man's effect on the Earth, I have discovered some facts that cannot be disputed.
Here is my theory as to why sea levels are rising and it is indeed the fault of humans!
As you will soon understand, the rising sea levels are a direct result of man's intervention.
Fluid Displacement is a term used to measure how much water is moved by an object when immersed in it.
The displacement of ships is what is causing the current problem with the rising sea levels and I can prove it.
If a ship weighs 36,000 tons it will displace 36,000 tons of water, meaning the sea level will rise by exactly that amount.
If you look at the chart in the link above on rising sea levels you will notice the steep incline of the line representing the rising sea levels since the year 1880. Unfortunately there are no studies that I have found that have a similar chart of the total tonnage of ships that have been placed in the water since that year, but I am certain that the number of ships produced would create a similar graph.
So you see, mans selfish need to sail the seas has caused this alarming rise in ocean water!
Let's summarize the scientific facts. I invite any skeptics to disprove the following statements:
1. displacement occurs when an object is immersed in a fluid. T or F
2. The word displacement refers to the mass of the water that the ship displaces while floating. T or F
3. There are far more ships on the water today than in 1880. T or F
4. Humans build ships. T or F
5. Humans place ships in the water. T or F
6. When a ship is placed in the water the water level rises. T or F (redundant I know)
7. 1 through 6 proves man has caused the sea levels to rise. T or F
Now that I have concrete evidence that man has caused the sea levels to rise, I feel I have the credibility and responsibility to do something about it.
I must be allowed to further my studies and I would like a grant from the Obama administration to do this study.
Here are some of the things I will need in order to do the study and their approximate costs.
A research vessel to sail around the globe and gather information about how many ships are on the Earths waters and their specific displacement. $10,000,000.00 est.
A crew to accompany me on my scientific venture to save the planet. 26 x $100,000.00 per year = 2,600,000.00
Supplies to last at least 3 years. $1,000,000.00 est.
total cost: If you add in a paltry 1,000,000,000.00 for my wage the total cost is a mere 1.013 billion dollars....a small fraction of the bailout money and money well spent to save the planet don't you think?
If you really want to save the planet then sign your name electronically below......if you are really nice....then maybe you can come with.....we will set sail out of Ft. Lauderdale immediately after receiving the grant money and start our research in the Florida Keys. From there we will hit the Bahamas then the virgin islands.......hmmmm.....this may take more than 3 years.
D6fer posted on Mar 07, 2009
| views: 400
Comments
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mobil said on Mar 07, 2009....
I like your vessel D6, and I like your crew even more. I'd be willing to come along and keep that crew well oiled with sunscreen. (have you figure in the cost of sunscreen) I mean we don't want that crew to burn up.I really think you are on to something here 6, move over Al Gore. I don't know why no one else has figured this out, but I don't think 3 years is not long enough to investigate. -
beyondtheveil said on Mar 07, 2009....
This is truly brilliant. I have to admit I've never thought of this before. I'd very much like to accompany you on the research vessel to prove ships hulls raise the level of the sea in dangerous proportions.
We'll have to not allow us and the crew to go swimming though.
I don't want us to displace water and chance drowning kids playing on the beach in Florida.
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D6fer said on Mar 07, 2009....
mobil.....yes....I never thought about the "needs" of the crew....i will need much help with that.....I hope that the $100,000.00 salary will be enough for you....but then again upper management would command a higher salary.....we can negotiate that.
beyond......I will petition the Obama administration to remove an Aircraft carrier from service to "offset" the displacement of the entire project to accommodate the crews "scientific" research.....I feel that we will need to do many experiments with human boyancy in various states of undress and we will have some tools on board to acheive that, specifically hot tubs and swimming pools.
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gingersoul said on Mar 07, 2009....
D6.......LOL...you called me and i am here....
I will be more than happy to use my psychic power in any experiment you would like to conduct with me.....on me.......through me.......LOL...
I am also a very good cook......years of sea adventures have made of me an accredited marine cook for any ship. You got yourself a yacht chef, man.
Oh, and i am an expert in whale translations, moon tides fluctuations, and mermaid hair combing...think you might need these skills too?
Forgot...i am a killer chilled Apple Martini sipper-bikini sporting on any deck....lol...
Btw.....who told you to post my picture? I am the second from the rigth...when i was that blonde....tsk tsk....you should have asked.... -
D6fer said on Mar 07, 2009....
gingie!....you're hired baby! maybe you can help with translating when we arrive in Italy? There is much to study there! Maybe you could suggest some ports of call there? Like mobil, we may have to negotiate your salary since you are willing to take on so many responsibilities......."benefits" are negotiable too! ;p -
gingersoul said on Mar 07, 2009....
Are you kidding? For the sake of science and global environment i am willing to embark for FREE...
I mean....you, Mobil and BeyBey as fellow crew members.......that gorgeous yacht.....the Mediterranean sea and the Italian ports.....and you want to pay me?
Benefits too?
Did i fall from the parallel universe i was in? The one where i was sweeping the floor and folding laundry?....
You bet i remain in this one, honey........thank you very much....lol....
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stopmediabias said on Mar 07, 2009....
You are seriously on to something here. What I would like to know is what about whaling? Technically whalers take whales out of the water. How much displacement will a whale cause. Since whaling is outlawed obviously there are an increased number of whales. So technically we could say saving the whales is causing climate change :> -
D6fer said on Mar 07, 2009....
ginger......you are a good Earth citizen!
smb.....ahhhhh.....you beat me to the punch!.....that is a topic that I planned to address later......can you do some research on the subject of whale populations? I think it would be helpful. Thanks!
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cuppajava said on Mar 07, 2009....
A very interesting post - i might say i agree with you for the most part - but i have my own thought on the situtation too.Lets say that i live in a town on the east coast of africa -which i do -and at any one time,there are about 40 fishing trawlers and tankers anchored about a mile off the coast -what then? -
D6fer said on Mar 07, 2009....
cuppajava......Then we have to find a way to impose a displacement tax on those ships, so that we can fund giant freezers placed at the poles.....those freezers will have huge ice cube trays inside producing cubes weighing exactly
1 long ton......volunteers will remove the huge ice trays from the polar freezers and twist them...popping out the ice cubes and stacking them thereby lowering the sea level to compensate for each ships tonnage!
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superbozo said on Mar 07, 2009....
Love it D6fer. I happily offer my services as crew man. You'll just have to stop by Australia to pick me up but that shouldn't be a problem. We can do research on whale to water displacement during their migration up the east coast of Australia. We can also check out the effect this is having on the great barrier reef.
Your last theory on ice cubes may be misplaced. The North pole is all ice no land. So putting to much weight on it, will make it sink lower in to the ocean therefore causing more displacement. I suggest putting water into large metal drums and then placing this drums in old abandoned mines. This will keep the water levels down and create lots of employment. Maybe even solve the finacial crisis while we're at it. How can they refuse you funding now.
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pickersplock said on Mar 07, 2009....
You sure the whales and fish aren't just getting fatter?We'd better look into that too, just to be on the safe side! -
D6fer said on Mar 07, 2009....
superbozo.....you are in.....we will pick you up sometime around october I think.....I may have to rethink the pole freezer idea.....how about the south pole....any land there? Check into it and get back to me!
Pickers!.....bout time you got here....we have work to do....yes I am afraid the whales are becoming quite a problem.....why are they in the water anyway....they are mammals and they belong on land.......I suggest that we haul them all onto dry land and force them to evolve and sprout legs.....thats how we all got here anyway right? why should they be any different?
btw......does whale meat taste like fish?
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superbozo said on Mar 07, 2009....
No my knowledge the south pole is land based so no problem there. Also I think sea change might be reasponsible. People are getting fatter and moving as close as possible to the coast. They then all go swimming. We should also look into the effect all these people going swimming has. I mean they may prove to be just as responsible as the ships. Lets say world wide there are 1 million people swimming in the ocean at any time (I have deliberately underestimated till we research). We take 75 Kilos as an average weight. What am I saying we are all fat so maybe 85 kilos. Thats 85,000,000 kilos or 85,000 tonnes. (sorry for using that damed metric).
Here in Australia they have imposed fishing catch limits which the EPA says are effectively increasing fish populations. So with all these extra fish getting fat of the toxins we provide them with for free I might add, plus all these fat people and then shipping. WOW I'm surprised we have not drowned already.
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CreativeWoman said on Mar 07, 2009....
I could swab the decks or something being the Cinderella type that I am. :-)
CW
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gingersoul said on Mar 07, 2009....
D6.....ok.....so we fish all the whales out of water....but.....where we put them?
Do we feed Africa with them?
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D6fer said on Mar 07, 2009....
CW.....oh yes we will need that too! Got to keep that ship tip top......I wonder if it has a "poop deck"......anyone know why it's called that?
ginger.....we will force them to accept evolution....once they sprout legs they will be fine.
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javadewd said on Mar 07, 2009....
Okay, I have to give you props, dude. This truly is a masterpiece... And sadly it still makes much more sense than the verbal political vomit called "global warming."
Carry on... "Discuss!" Thank you, Mike Myers!
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travelr712 said on Mar 07, 2009....
this is interesting D6, because my course project for my ecology class last quarter was on global climate change. why didn't you post this two weeks ago? i coulda used this info and even had a citation with the url! this information definately explains why weather patterns can shift over hundreds of years, but the ocean is rising! so i can go tell those people who attribute it to melting ice caps that they're full of crap, it's actually the chinese freighters causing the event!
looking forward to your chart diagraming the correlation...
oh hey, if i do research for you, can i get a piece of your grant?
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ALIENated said on Mar 07, 2009....
You are joking, but you probably could get a grant from this duffus administration. Go for it man.
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D6fer said on Mar 07, 2009....
javadewd....thanks man....facts are facts....this is not a "consensus" like you have with global warming.....these are long established facts!
travelr712.....sure join the team! I would love to be a fly on the wall in that ecology class when the professor hears this theory!
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D6fer said on Mar 07, 2009....
alien......It's no more far fetched than any other science that I've heard on the issue so why not? ....btw.....what do you think of the crew I chose? -
RollingC said on Mar 07, 2009....
You can count me in for the trip also....I used to serve a mean Rob Roy and Vodka Martini...I could brush up on my skills and get even better. I also know how to burn toast tastefully. I can be the Whisky and Beer connoisseur for the voyage.
After all, there are over 2000 registered brands of Whisky in the world and no one has bothered to count how many registered brands of beer there are.
You can get a proposed multiple study going on for the trip and that should make it even easier to get a grant from the government.
Rc
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D6fer said on Mar 07, 2009....
rollingc.....a bartender? oh hell yeah!....hey since we are going to hit all ports we can count the beers being exported from each as we go.....of course we will need volunteers to test each one and categorize them accordingly......we will have to conduct a "Beer summit" to discuss the best course of action for the study......good work! -
bluegum said on Mar 08, 2009....
all we gotta do is fill all the holes we've dug every where with the water we've displaced with those ships and we will be apples as they say.lol. blue -
scipio said on Mar 08, 2009....
I see that there are no accountants on board to take care of all that dosh - so, here I come. -
Voltaire said on Mar 08, 2009....
Is this a joke?
Archimedes Principle states that the buoyant force on a submerged object is equal to the weight of the fluid that is displaced by the object.
While you took our ships into account you forgot several geological factors, for example:
tectonic plate movement (can cause i.e. underwater mountains)
Lava (warm water expands, can also cause islands to rise)
Gas pockets (if water pressure is high enough gas can't escape from the depths)
Global warming (if it's true it will warm our water thus expand it)
and so on...
Remember the tsunami in the Indian Ocean in 2004?
It was a direct result of geological activities.
Salt content can also effect, as you know it's easier to float in high salt content water.
Geological factors will have far more impact on the water levels then our boats.
36,000 tons sounds like a lot but if you look at a total water amount on the earth the rise will be minimal. Less then one millimetre.
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stopmediabias said on Mar 08, 2009....
D6-You've solved a major part of the climate problem. We can tax so many things that displace water. Imagine all the beaches around the world where millions of people are swimming all at once. A dollar tax everytime they go in the water. Maybe they can buy displacement offset credits from the government. :> -
SpiritualMom said on Mar 08, 2009....
Hey I wanna go! lol I can be a backup cook/bartender and for the good of the team, I'm willing to take on the duties of beer tester! =P When do we leave??Great post D6fer! -
D6fer said on Mar 08, 2009....
bluegum.....yes that will be a business for our new "displacement economy" ....you see I plan to start a company that specializes in lowering sea levels by means such as what you say as well as my giant polar ice cube makers that I describe a few comments back.
scipio.....you're hired! ......every great venture needs a great bean counter!
voltair......thanks for proving my point......want a job?
smb......yes!....tax them all!.....we need to get the tax rate up to about 110%....that should solve all of the worlds problems!
SpiritualMom......you are in baby!.....this is a 24/7/365 operation.....we need staff like you wouldn't believe!
Oh my this project is getting big!......We may need a bigger ship!.....Someone tell Obama that we are going to have to mothball a nuclear sub or something to offset this change of plans......maybe we should have a summit to discuss the best way to offset the new vessel.......does anyone have any ideas? Is there a really big hole anywhere that we can fill with water?
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Voltaire said on Mar 08, 2009....
D6, maybe, depends on salary and what activity I am to do. -
RollingC said on Mar 08, 2009....
Start siphoning water into all the abandoned coal and salt mines around the world....that should bring the level down a bit.
The only really big hole that I know of (the meteorite that hit the Gulf of Mexico) is already filled with water so we're going to have to scrounge around a bit.
There's always Death Valley in California...that's below sea level and the folks in that area could use some beachfront property I'll bet.
Rc -
D6fer said on Mar 08, 2009....
voltair.....check out the ship and the crew then get back to me on the salary negotiations!
RollingC.......hey.....how about the Grand Canyon? I bet that sucker would hold a lot of water!........immagine how much money the government would have to spend to build a couple of dams big enough to cap it off at the top!......that would employ millions of people by itself!.....economy problem solved!
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Voltaire said on Mar 08, 2009....
D6: I'm geology interested, if we happen to pass any caverns (or cavities?) I'll be interested to take a look.
Seems ok to me, where in Europe will you pass by?
And now as for salary!
As for supplies, you might want to stock up more...
It's not for me but for the crew, I don't drink. -
D6fer said on Mar 08, 2009....
voltaire.......I am sure there will be plenty of caverns to explore on the way.....the crew seems to be genuinely interested in that field of study!.....we are hitting all major ports in Europe......$100,000.00 US is the yearly salary being budgeted for each crew member.....but specific qualifications demand more obviously! ;p -
mongol said on Mar 08, 2009....
One world government, the chip, forced abortions, WW3, depression, starvation, 666, global warming ....It's all here now. The rest is but a side show for the masses. -
RollingC said on Mar 08, 2009....
And there's also Yellowstone National Park. Build a dam around that...fill it up with water..and use the natural geysers to warm the water and I'll bet there would be enough warm water to supply half the country thereby lowering the need for importing foreign oil to run the generators that provide electricity to heat the water.
Imagine that !
Providing millions of jobs to solve the economic problem and at the same time balance the deficit plaguing the country.
Congress will be so pleased they'll probably want to take the credit for the idea...but who cares as long as the problems are solved.
Rc
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SpiritualMom said on Mar 08, 2009....
wooooooooo hooooooooooNow I gotta pack!! A few bikinis and I should be good to go huh? :P -
D6fer said on Mar 08, 2009....
mongol.....I hope not.....hope all that waits until I'm long gone!....but....I am afraid the writings on the wall.
RollingC......that would be like the worlds biggest hot tub!
SpiritualMom......uh....bikinis are optional. ;p
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SpiritualMom said on Mar 08, 2009....
LMAO When do we leave again? -
GrapeKoolaid said on Mar 08, 2009....
Could you use a chronicler? Jotting things down's just about the only thing that I'm alright at.
I don't drink or take up much room. Possibly a stowaway?
I'm not really looking to do any work though.
Not much, anyways. :)
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D6fer said on Mar 08, 2009....
SpiritualMom.....just as soon as the Obama admin releases the funds!
Grape.....hmmmm....a chronicler huh?.....sure....we just have one rule though....what happens on the ship stays on the ship!....were like Vegas that way! ;p
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javadewd said on Mar 08, 2009....
This is too funny. Somebody send me a post card and I'll bring the wife to see you off. No job for me, unless you just need high-seas on-site IT... -
ALIENated said on Mar 08, 2009....
$100,000 a year? Sign me up.
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D6fer said on Mar 08, 2009....
javadewd......we need IT.....bring the wife.....unless you don't want to! lol
Alien.......I figure what the hell...what's a hundred grand to our government...they'll print more.....and as long as we are throwing money at problems we might as well get in line....this project is a bargain.....and I even came up with a way to pay for it....a displacement tax....hell...the chinese have a new cargo ship called the Emma Maersk its close to 157,000 metric tons that is about the same as a long ton....that should command a hefty tax....now if we can just get the Chinese on board, everything will be just peachy.
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Voltaire said on Mar 09, 2009....
D6; Sounds good, I'm in. lol -
pickersplock said on Mar 09, 2009....
I just was thinking, if we're going to do this right, we'll need a lot...and I mean a LOT of high tech equipment thingies, which coincidentally my new company,Expensive Measuring Thingies and Such, can provide for an large sum of money.And for an extra $500,000, I'll toss in some high quality, rope like, displacement, sonarlogical, eco-friendly, mercury free, mega-watt, on-board, fish calming utensils. -
D6fer said on Mar 09, 2009....
pickers!....perfect!.....I was wondering where we could get one of those.......do you have any spinny things with blinking lights? -
D6fer said on Mar 09, 2009....
oh!.....and I'll need a bronze bust of Jacques Cousteau! -
RollingC said on Mar 09, 2009....
Not Jacques Cousteau ! Get someone sexier....like Marilyn Monroe or the Playmate of the Year ! Life size even.
Rc
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D6fer said on Mar 09, 2009....
uh.....did you see the crew rolling? -
travelr712 said on Mar 09, 2009....
how do i get one of those fish calming utensils pickers? -
pickersplock said on Mar 10, 2009....
Just send $500,000.99 toPickersplock C/OExpensive Measuring Thingies and SuchMakemybankaccountbigger LaneThanksawfully,NY50099:) -
RollingC said on Mar 10, 2009....
Wow....hey, as the bartender and official Beer Baron for the trip, I'm going to have to fraternize heavily with the crew...and specially practice the swimming lessons with heavy emphasis on the life resuscitating techniques. Have to be ready for all contingencies you know.
Rc -
superbozo said on Mar 10, 2009....
I'll do the chest compressions Rolling. I can't wait for you guys to get here. I've been thinking do we need a helicopter for well anything really I've always wanted to fly one. We will need a small sub as well I think to check out those underwater mountains etc. We can also then track the whales and fish underwater. Also can I have the rank of Rear Admiral as it would be so cool to put Rear Admiral Bozo on a buiness card.
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