• nytquill17 said on Mar 04, 2009....

  Hmm...with DH it's usually both arms around the waist or chest, because I'm short and that's the most comfortable (his arms go around my shoulders).
  
  With friends it depends the kind of hug.  Like a greeting, I usually just do one arm, kind of squeeze in from one side.  I usually aim for the shoulders unless the person is really tall and it's just awkward to even try.  If it's more for comfort or support I might do both arms and hold it out a bit.   Of course I don't think about it that much when I'm doing it, I just hug!  The why and the how work themselves out naturally.
  
  If it's a friend I'm willing to hug in the first place, I'm usually not too awkward about it, no matter what gender.  But I am probably quicker to let go with a guy than with a girl - more because I don't want to make him or the people watching feel uncomfortable or start thinking things, than for myself.
  

• Mr_Box said on Mar 04, 2009....

  I had to think about this one cuz I never really paid attention to how I did it....lol Usually I put my arms under hers and around her waist.
  
  
  But if I'm hugging a friend its more than likely a one armed quick squeeze. I don't wanna embrace my male friends too tightly or closely  for obvious reason. And same with female friends cuz I wouldn't want them to think I had other ideas....lol

• fragglesrock said on Mar 04, 2009....

  i'm a girl so when my girlfriends and i hug it's that charge into eachother almost knock eachother down type of hug, when i hug a male friend it can be much the same, if i'm sad and need a hug it's much more low-key, but i don't have a sig. other right now, and really i'm not much of a hugger. i just realized i completely didn't answer your question...lol...i should be a politician ;)

• beyondtheveil said on Mar 05, 2009....

  My daughter always wants to jump up and put both arms around my neck. With everyone else, its usually one over shoulder and one around waist, except my wife likes both around neck often. 

• superbozo said on Mar 05, 2009....

  Good question.  I have had to learn a variety of hugs and handshakes over the years as I've travelled around. My favorite man to man hug (very popular with the samoan and maori guys) clasp each others right hand by the thumb crossed over and held at the chest. Touch foreheads and clasp each others shoulder with your left. It's intimidating and cuddly all at the samr time.

   I often find people running from me as I like the good ole bear hug when I have not seen someone in a long time. But thinking about it, most man to man hugs I've come across have some sort of handshaking too. With women I try to stick to the hand on either shoulder, groin apart hug. Unless I know them really well then its just sort of a come here you bear hug thing.

  But I have a question here. Should a male shake hands with a female in a social setting to greet her upon being introduced....When ever I'm introduced to a female by friends I always feel so awkward shaking hands. It doesn't worry me in a buisness setting but at a social thing it feels wrong for some reason.

• GrapeKoolaid said on Mar 05, 2009....

  To be honest with you, I don't do PDAs that often.  I'm a little uncomfortable with it, actually.  I don't hug people.  A firm handshake will suffice.  When they do try to hug me, not only do I not hug them back, it generally ends up being an awkward experience for the both of us with back-patting.  :)
  
  When I do hug however, I don't hug with my arms, but with my soul. 
  
  Because it's an expression of my love and affection for someone, when I do, I envelop them with all that I am, and more.  I wrap my arms around her waist, hold her close, almost to the point of wrapping my arms completely around her and breathe deep, release a sigh of total and utter contentment. 
  
  More often than not, a hug usually is a prelude to a kiss.  One I haven't had all too long. 
  

• scipio said on Mar 05, 2009....

  Depends - whether it is a hug  to express sorrow or hug to express happiness  or just a plain hug.
   
  The intensity depends - whether you are hugging a one night stand - in which case your hands go roving furiously all over the place or a romantic one in which case it is gently hoovering all over... also depends on the looseness of the dress....  to safely park your hands
   
  so there you have it - no definite hug theory.

• queenparanoia said on Mar 05, 2009....

  with sincerity... ;-)

• uniquely-ironic said on Mar 05, 2009....

  I'm giggling about this because I've been hug deprived lately.  (I know, hard to believe given the volume of dating I've done) 
   
  I hug male/female friends in "tent" hugs.  Both of us one over one under bent at the waist.  This applies to family except my kids as well.  With my daughter it's one over one under and pulled in tight.  Often she's wheezing "not so tight! I can't breath".  My son is taller so I've had to go to two under but same squeeze.
   
  Men.  Well, if I like like them [winks] I will step either toe to toe or one foot between their two feet and make it a two arms under since they are usually taller. (there are exceptions)  I'm a back patter as well when I hug.  I like hugging so I tend to linger in these. *sigh*

• HollyGoLightly said on Mar 05, 2009....

  always passionately...as I do everything...
  no matter the person, because if I'm moved to give someone a hug, it has great significance to me, and I want them to feel that significance as well.
   
  With men, usually being spontaneous, my arms are around his neck and it's a full body hug. When I am feeling vulnerable, need to be held, or we're cuddling, my arms are usually below his armpits and up around his back, stroking or running my hands up and down it.
   
  With little children, I always pick them up~what a feeling! To hold dearly an affectionate, selfless child heart to heart, at times stroking their little heads/hair, feeling deeply their preciousness, giving your unconditional love and feeling of security. My grown children I hug as I always have, no matter their age, this will never change. I hug them as if I am holding the most valuable treasure, the most precious gift, I have ever received...because I am. They are.
   
  I am very affectionate and a huge hugger. My whole family is this way. I hug with my whole being. I hug gently as the situation may require, I hug desperately as though I'm holding on for dear life (which I am), I hug warmly and lingeringly (is that even a word? :)  ) in an attempt to comfort, console, rejoice, and convey my deepest feeling.
   
  More than even a kiss, a hug speaks volumes.
   
   
  ((((hugs to you))))
   
  ~*~Holly~*~
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
  I hug with my whole self, my whole body, sometimes gently as the situation
  requires, many times tightly as if I'm holding on for dear life (which I am), but
  always lingering, hoping to convey the spirit of my heart through my body.

• husbandhater said on Mar 05, 2009....

  I'm a 2handed hugger and I love displays of affection my sons can vouch that I'm BIG on that so. Hugs and kisses are ME:~)

• rmuxagirl said on Mar 05, 2009....

  I am somewhat like fraggle, with my girls its like tackle them kind of hug, and my guy friends its one arm around their shoulder.  but there are some guy friends that both arms around their neck.  two guy friends will hold me for a long time like hey dont want to let go.  One i think nothing of it because he is married and he and I are justg close, the other it makes me wonder.  One time we ran to each other and hugged for a while...our friends keep telling me there is something there but he keeps denying it...hmm

• the_infernal_optimist said on Mar 07, 2009....

  nyt: That's a good point that we don't think about it while we're doing it. (You need to take a trip down this way -- I miss you! You're a squish-close huggee...)
  
  Jaxl: Yeah, I can see why you might not wanna hug any friend, regardless of gender, too long and get anyone wondering. ;-)
  
  fraggles: Somehow I can totally picture that with your girlfriends...lol, politician, huh?
  
  beyond: My daughter is already like that -- very enthusiastic with the hugging!
  
  superbozo: I like that man-to-man hug/embrace like you described. Warm, but not too squishy-fluffy...it sounds like you've encountered a lot of interesting customs and cultural details like that in your travels.
  
  Handshakes always feel awkward to me in social situations, so I can see how you feel about that. I don't know what would be better though sometimes...
  
  Grape: Ah, see, I was always like you, and I still am in a lot of situations. Hugs often happen to me rather than being a mutual thing, though I can pour my heart into an embrace when I want. If it's someone I dislike or am not comfortable with invading my personal space, I stand there stiffly and sometimes force myself to bend an arm around their shoulder to spare them embarrassment.
  
  But when it's a good friend or the one I love...oh yeah. No holds barred, squishy hug -- they'd know how I feel without a word!
  
  I like hugs. I really do. But not from just anyone.
  
  scipio: Thanks for sharing. :-D
  
  queenie: So simple, yet so important. Well-said.
  
  u-i: You are very aware of how you hug people, it seems. That's pretty interesting. I know exactly what you're talking about with the foot-between-theirs thing, too. I don't have much occasion to hug people significantly taller than me, although I'm surprised a little that it's not a reaching up, arms around their neck thing in that case for you... it always seems so fairytale-ish (in a good way) but it doesn't really work if they're the same height or shorter. :-p
  
  Holly: I loved your description of hugging small children. :) I have a few who would flock to you for that! ;-) Your words made me smile.
  
  hh: I think hugs are good for every part of a person. :)
  
  rmuxa: It sounds like you have something that might be worth wondering aloud around him about...hmm indeed...
  
  And to answer my own question, though my reply to Grape said a lot, it depends a ton on the person. With DH, we rarely hug. He's about an inch shorter than me, and when we hug, most of the time it's a side-armed quick thing. Every now and then, especially if one of us is upset, we hug full on and I think I just put my arms under his. I'll have to pay more attention the next time it happens and see.
  
  It's definitely arms-under with my dad, who is taller than I am. With my mom it's a stiff "Do I have to?" because she's one of those people who hangs on you like a limp dish rag, not really hugging but draped/leaning. The kids get scooped-up squeezes, my best female friend gets a one-over, one-under, and that's about all I know for sure. :-p
  
  Ever wonder if two people seeing each other for the first time and having reason to hug, would have an awkward or hilarious moment figuring it out? I've never actually seen that happen though, so I think it just automatically works itself out.
  
  ~Infernal
  

• WithoutShade said on Mar 16, 2009....

  Taller = Arms go under
  Short = Arms go over
  Family = Right arm goes over and left arm goes under, so you have room for a kiss on the cheek.
  Stuffed Animals, Pillows, and Girl-Friends = long, tight and comfy.
  Male Friends = quick, before something bad happens.
  Close Male Friends = No.
  Cats = Thumbs go under cat, fur then goes on right shoulder.
  Dogs = Wait for dog to sit, try to hug dog, get trampled.
  Hello hug = lean in.
  Goodbye hug = get close.
  Very Long Goodbye hug = *my favorite and my least favorite* very long, close, a snuggle, a few tears, warmth... I need another hug.
  

• soaringraven said on Mar 21, 2009....

  Well, I am what my sons refer to as a professional hugger.  I hug most folks equally without regard to gender or relationship.  It is simply a part of who I am.  
   
  My sons have attempted to introduce me to the concept of the "man hug" but I believe that if one (a man that is) feels awkward about hugging another man, any attempt to "man it up" would only serve to make one feel even more so.
   
  As to method I might say that it really makes little diff.  Although when hugging my wife I usually put both arms around her waist and she both arms about my neck.  with others almost without exception it is right arm about the waist and left about the shoulders.  Also my hugs tend to be somewhat prolonged and the beginnings of our conversation occur durring said hug.
   
  soaring

• the_infernal_optimist said on Mar 21, 2009....

  SOARING!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  ((massive, massive hugs))
  
  Where have you been?? How are you? You were missed!
  
  (response to other replies coming later, y'all)
  
  ~Infernal
  

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