An Open Letter to the Woman Crossing the Street this Morning.

Hi there! You remember me. I was the guy in the gold car driving up Madison Avenue at about 7:45 this morning. You were the young woman, quite possibly headed to your first college class, with bed head, a backpack and wearing pajama bottoms. You were crossing the street right in front of me, against the light and you looked a little bit irked that I was impatient. I didn’t honk the horn, rev the engine or anything like that. I just followed you with my eyes. You looked at me with such a look on condescension that I honestly felt badly for you…until I realized what you really are. You are one of them. Those locusts of sloth and indolence you routinely invade my neighborhood every fall.

People in Africa refer to you as mafunutu, the young locusts.

So, pudgy woman in pj bottoms for what may be your first college class ever, let me offer you some advice. Slovenly and surly will get you no where in life. You may have a brain under that matted helmet of hair, and you may be required to use it, but you will be required to work. That being said, dress the part, work as hard as you can, and most importantly, refrain from leaving beer bottles on my front lawn.

Thanks,

[info]stilldocked