I went to church today for the first time in a few months. I kind of stopped going while I was working on logistics. I was getting up at 5am 5 days a week, and Sunday became a day to sleep in. Now that I'm living with my parents I'm going back to church, partially because I know thats what they expect, and partially because I know its the right thing to do.

It's kind of funny, but the Relief Society lesson today was about The Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance. It was exactly what I needed to hear today. I've never doubted the truthfulness of the gospel and that was the hardest thing for me over the past few months. When you're taught that Christ suffered for all your sins and felt all of your pain that night at Gethsemane, it makes knowingly sin that much harder. Everytime I did something wrong, like not going to church he felt that pain. I made his pain worse. I could say that I should just go about doing my own thing because he already suffered the pain, and there's nothing I can do about it, but that's also making it sound like I don't have free will. I don't have the option to make my own choices, they were made for me almost 2000 years ago.

The wonderful thing about all of this is that the atonement allows for repentance. Christ suffered so that I can repent and become pure again. Christ suffered so that he can judge me and trully judge me with open eyes because he's been through everything that I'm currently going through. He's the only one with the power to forgive me. It's a comforting feeling knowing that there is somebody that loves me unconditionally and knows exactly what I've been through.