Marriage is a big commitment. It's bigger than getting a pet. It's bigger than buying a car. It's even bigger than selecting a college (if you have such an opportunity). All of my friends kept telling me about the spiritual and emotional aspects of marriage. The wife and I went through the whole "pre-marriage counseling" and got all the appropriate nods. Both of us went into our marriage with simple expectations, not some grandiose Disney-type fantasy, and that made everything easier.
The one thing that was never pointed out to me was the physical aspect of this wedding ring that I wear. It is a "Benchmark" ring made out of some heavy metal (could be uranium for all I know) and was custom-made to fit my finger size at the time of the wedding. Now if I lose weight or gain weight, I have to buy a whole new ring... Probably not a good choice now that the food nazi has me trying to control my blood sugar and I'm dropping weight like a rock.
Today, like most days this season, it's about twenty degrees Fahrenheit outside. Our damn car has decided that it won't kick the heater on (I now have it isolated down to the car's computer -- how ironic!) and you can see our breath as I drive my beloved to work. All the while, I'm not wearing a jacket "because real men don't wear jackets" and so my hands go from a white to a pink to a red and then eventually an alien shade of blue. I can usually ignore this until I get back home (6:45am is too damn early to start calling anybody in my humble opinion). As I get an itch, though, as I always do under my wedding ring, I shift it around to reveal what could only be the onset of frostbite. Lovely, I guess. If my finger falls off, do I get the option of divorce? No doubt my wife would have me wear it then around a testicle, or on a pull chain around both.
I hope that soon I can get that fuzzy felt stuff that I've seen several men (who have gone from lard-ass to pleasantly plump) use to hold their ring on after they've lost a few pounds. Perhaps then it won't cause me as much grief in the winter. Granted it won't keep it from conducting electricity (zapped myself about five times in four months) or getting hung on a nail or some rough surface (did that three times in four months).
One of the biggest hazards so far with this ring is that I forget that it has a much heavier density than the rest of my hand. The day after the wedding, my beloved wife (with new wife smell) saw a spider on the inside of the car windshield. My first reaction (as proud hunter/killer of this new family) was to back-hand the little bastard. Of course, this reaction nearly took out the whole windshield, which even though my confirmed kill saved the fair maiden, it also made me lose style points.
Well, that's all I have at the moment... On to the witch doctor appointment.
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javadewd posted on Feb 23, 2009
| views: 163
Comments
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jeteye said on Feb 23, 2009....
One ring to bind them all...... -
PieterOpie said on Feb 24, 2009....
Are you absolutely sure it's bigger than getting a puppy? Really...???
Hmmmm....... I don't know about that.....
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javadewd said on Feb 24, 2009....
Well, PieterOpie, the last time I checked, my wife hasn't chewed the furniture or pissed on the kitchen floor... Unlike the crazy monkey lady, I have yet to spoon a dog, bathe with a dog, or for that matter make passionate love to a dog... I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with you, PieterOpie. I think that marriage is a much bigger commitment than getting a puppy... Unless you're screwing your puppy... You're not screwing your puppy, are you PieterOpie? That's just wrong...
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PieterOpie said on Feb 24, 2009....
Yeah, well since you put it that way I suppose you're right. No I am not screwing my puppy. That would be positively beastly. I don't know where you got that idea from.
However getting a puppy did change my life at the time. For the better...
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javadewd said on Feb 24, 2009....
I think I had a similar life-changing experience with a kitten.
Seriously, though, PieterOpie, you don't think marriage (gay/straight) is a big deal? I mean, sometimes I think that some of these gay folks out there are blessed that they don't have to put up with the stress of the whole engagement, invitations, showers, nagging soon-to-be inlaws... Not to say it is well worth it, in my opinion, but now you have me curious. -
PieterOpie said on Feb 24, 2009....
It doesn't make any difference. I have been with my partner for over 35 years and obviously we weren't married.... nor wanted to be. The whole concept seemed silly to us. Why would we want to? It was not going to make us any more or less committed. However, it does set it in stone - so to speak. Then we'd have to smash the stone if things soured. I can't tell you how many times that happened already. Too much drama!!!! NO THANKS.
As for crazy in-laws... we had those anyway. My parents nearly drove Lance to a state of complete madness - and me too by the way. It was worse than "Everybody Loves Raymond". There are no legal entanglements but the emotional ties are all there and they are just as real - and ANNOYING!!!!!!
The one thing that is different is that if their was a break up the nastier ones could simply walk away without any responsibilities and just leave. No court case. No legal complications. The not-so-nasty ones would have to find a reasonable solution to dividing up "the spoils of marriage" I imagine.
But there are gays who want to play house like the big kids do and I think they have as much right as anyone else. Let them. I cannot see how it would offend a god or undermine straight marriage. Let's face it - straight people do more than anyone or anything else to destroy the "sanctity" (haha) of marriage themselves. Most of them get divorced and fool around and drive the kiddies nuts. People are too selfish for a successful marriage these days.
It's hard work without getting married. I don't see the point. It is an antiquated system designed to protect the property of the male, basically. Women are no longer regarded as property.... ask any divorce lawyer.
The whole married with children thing needs a massive overhaul. Kiddies should be a community responsibility. Some people know NOTHING about raising them.
aaaaaaand.... blah blah blahhh blablablaaaaaaahhhhhh.............
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javadewd said on Feb 28, 2009....
Well, crap... You stopped.
Okay, well from what little I can actually say from experience, doesn't a strong relationship (of any kind, really) require teamwork, trust, love, commitment and many of the traits that define marriage? I guess I may sound a bit naive, but it sounds like your relationships are a bit more 'soft touch' or surface or less than maturable, with few responsibilities between you, but maybe I'm just not understanding your perspective here...
Maybe you should keep writing...
(Oh, and I agree about idiocity and child rearing. Some people project the attitude "I have children and you all will suffer because of it!!")
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PieterOpie said on Mar 01, 2009....
I am barren. I cannot bare children - so to speak. Therefore I am superbly qualified to tell everyone else about how to raise them. I have NEVER made any parental mistakes. My record is perfect.
I wish I had been my own father... and mother too. Imagine how brilliant I would be then. MY GOD!!!! The mind boggles...... (slightly dizzy now)
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javadewd said on Mar 09, 2009....
Ah, I love the smell of sarcasm in the morning... It's so refreshing! God, I love SoulCast. It's not a matter of feeding my ego, but instead that hearty belly laugh I get from good commenters like you all. It warms my heart. No, seriously folks... {Applause.}
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