The pictures of Rihanna's face speak to a horrible and secret reality that battered women strive to hide.  Whether or not they have money, fame and beauty, they all face the same horrible circumstances of abuse.  What has happened to this young and rising star is a sign of brutal hostility towards women.  That Rihanna is small in size and stature is a particular worry.  She is beautiful and admired but also at risk for violence at the hands of a cruel 'boyfriend'.

I sympathize with her but do not know her.  The press has done the right thing in publishing these photos even if they represent a violation of privacy and personal reality.  Lately, her image has come up in tabloids.  I find the idea of paparazzi and tabloid journalism engaging the exploitation of someone's personal dilemma insulting to women.  It is wrong to make money off of someone's personal tragedy and misery.  This is hardly the first time they have done this, but this type of media has no standards.  They can only fall lower and lower and obviously will never hit a bottom. 

Hopefully, some good will come out of this.  At the very least, Chris Brown will face charges.  I hope that Rihanna is able to recover from this completely but even if the scars heal physically, it doesn't mean that a person heals completely on the inside.  If her fans can learn to sympathize and related to battered women, as well as victims of sexual assault, harassment, human trafficking and other violent and degrading injustices against women, it will help all of us in the end.  What nobody seems to notice is that her fame and stature have brought focus to a reality that is often hidden.  When it is brought up, it is often excused and dismissed.  

The more our society excuses domestic violence and verbal abuse against women, the more it condones it.  That condonation is tatamount to permission for the batterer and neglect towards the victim.  The more that this issue is brought to light, the more that something can be done about it.  Honesty is the only way to confront the ugly daily reality that many women strive to cover up with sunglasses, makeup, hair, keeping their faces down, large jackets and so on.  It is also not an issue of race, religion or class.  A woman from any background, religion or ethnicity can experience domestic violence.  Money and stature cannot possibly excuse this type of behavior towards women.  I hope that people will wake up and realize that they need to help and support battered women and assault victims instead of excusing the violence and misogyny behind this behavior.  We as a society should be helping victims instead of batterers.  It is high time that we looked at the other side and their experience instead of constantly worrying about perpetrator's rights and the 'human dignity' of the batterer.  I can guarantee you that counseling for a pathologically-inclined violent offender is not going to solve this problem.  It is not an issue of altercation, communication, respect or any other feel-good concept.  It is literally a life-and-death issue for women that threatens their core existence and quality of life.   It is time we started focusing on saving the women in these situations and not on helping the perpetrator, who deserves to be held accountable for his actions under the law and made to pay for the victim's protection, counseling and recovery. 

Sincerely yours,

Stephanie