Its been a long day and its time to start winding down...
I thought that tonight I would just do a post telling you all a bit more about myself.. As you already know I'm 29, married and a mother of 5...
I'm also a full time college student, and in another few weeks I'll be back to working full time as well..
We just moved back to my home state of Indiana over this past summer... We had been living in Georgia which is where my husband is from and where my father and siblings live... I do not have a good relationship with any of them.. My siblings choose to ignore the horrible person that our father is and I refuse to... Needless to say this has caused alot of tension through the years... I try not to let it bother me too much, but its hard when I see them destroying themselves to keep the lie alive...
My brother is an alcoholic with numerous health problems caused by his addiction (Easier to get drunk and not be able to think than to face the truth) and my sister, well, she is still allowing my father to control her as well as her husband.... She is nothing more than a slave to them and her health is showing the damage that a lifetime of stress can cause...
My mom still lives here as well as her family... My mom and I are very close... It is her I have to thank for getting me the help I needed to deal with my father's attrocities... Without her I would have probably ended up like my siblings...
My adult life has not always been easy, but then no ones is.... I went through a horrible marriage and came out the other side pregnant, alone and scared to death... I was 20... My oldest and I were alone for 2 years before I met my husband, those two years are still some of the fondest memories I have... I found myself during that time and through my daughter I found I had a capacity to love that I never dreamed possible...
I have since then fought cervical cancer and won... I've almost died from infection caused by an incompitant surgeon, as well as hitting numerous other bumps... I am thankful for all of them, they have strengthened me in ways that I can't even begin to describe..
For all the struggle and heartache I have faced in my life I have also been very very blessed... I have 3 beautiful, smart little girls and 2 handsome, sweet little boys... All of them are perfectly healthy which is a huge blessing in and of itself... I have a nice home, good marriage, etc...
I have been floating around SC reading at random, I know that there are alot of you who are going through hard times in your lives, some worse than others... I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter what life throws your way, you'll make it through better than you were before... Stronger than you were before... Be proud that you are facing this struggle (whatever it may be), you are not running from it, your not hiding from it...I know that some of you are scared, weary from the battle, hurt and confused but I also know that you are strong and you have great courage.. You will not fail...
I apoligize for the length, I just felt the need to ramble, sometimes it turns into something of a message.. I believe that this is one...
Love and Light
