Okay so I just had a discussion with my hubby and it made me think about something that really irritates me and I thought I would share.. :)
**BEWARE OF THE RANT** lol
Okay so, we were talking about our kids and about where we are right now, the things we are doing and why we are doing them... As you all know we have 5 kids, we love them dearly but as they are all still very small (the oldest is 8 and the rest are 4 and under) it can be pretty overwhelming at times.
When we moved back here to my hometown (6 months ago) we left my hubby's hometown where all his family lives and where my father and siblings live to make a better life for our family. My mom is here as is her family.. We had already decided that we were going to go back to school when we got here as there is an awesome college in this town and we both wanted to go back and further our educations.. I dropped out of school when I was 16 and got married, I had alot of unresolved issues at that point, I did get my GED though in '03 with no trouble.. My hubby (GodsChild) graduated high school but chose to go into the military rather than college.. Anyways we decided we both wanted to get a degree as it would be good for our family and it would be a way to show our kids that we don't just think they need a good education, we need one too. We want to teach them that it is never too late to follow your dreams.. I have already started school and the hubby will start in Sept. but at the moment it has worked out so that we can both be at home with the kids, I do my school work and work from home, and the hubby is taking care of the kids full time right now... Here is where we start the rant!! lol
Okay first let me say that we both applied for the job from home, I got it because I have more experience in the field, we are perfectly capable of living off what I make and we do not want the kids in daycare due to past horrible experiences (thats a whole different blog lol) We are both very happy with the way things are, we get to spend lots of time together and with our kids and that means more than anything to the two of us.. Others however have a different opinion of things and this is the part that really pisses me off...
There have been members of both my family and his (the ones we just moved away from) who have made comments to us both about my hubby staying home and doing the majority of the housework and child care... We have heard everything from "Your not being a man!" (boths his family and mine) to "He is just using this as an excuse not to work!" (my family) and everything in between with disparaging remarks made about us both...
We believe that we are BOTH equally responsible for the kids and that whoever is able to work at the moment should and the other should take care of the kidsn.. This has always been our system, if he was working I took care of the kids and house, if something happened and he was out of work we would both place applications and whoever got hired was the one to go to work.. We know its not the way that everyone does it and we know its not necessarily the "norm" in our society but it works for us..
My husband is a wonderful man and a great father, he loves our kids and loves to be with them so why in the hell is that seen as a slight on his manhood?? I don't get this whole "Its a man's job" or "That's woman's work"... Are we really still that archaic in our thought processes that we thing that each gender has to fall into line and only do certain things??
I have all the respect in the world for what my husband is doing and I'm thankful that he is willing to take the brunt of the work here at home so that I can concentrate on school and work.. Believe me I have the easier job right now and I know it!! He works his ass off around here everyday and he never complains.. He is always there to lend support or to boost my spirits when it all gets to be too much..
I think saying that he is less of a man is bullshit! If anything, what he's doing makes him more of a man because he is putting his family first and foremost.. Isn't that what women have been wanting for years? For the men to take a more active role in the home and in raising children? So why is it that when they do it has the opposite affect on some??
My mother-in-law never had any help, my father-in-law was always working and never had time to go to school events or special games for the kids nor did he have the time to teach them to play football or baseball, they learned from other family members.. My husband doesn't want to be that kind of father.. He respects his father for working hard and providing for them but he hates that he was never around.. Is it so wrong for a man to want to be such an active part of his children's lives?? And if you think it is then why?
I look forward to your feed back :)
Love and Light all!!!!
