• secretlife said on Jan 31, 2009....

  oh woman i'm so sorry you're in this battle.
  some days i wish there weren't these damn battles.  a little peace would certainly be appreciated.  i know.
   
  i don't like your doctor from what you've written here-  and i think you could do so much better.  have you ever considered finding a nice new "younger" one? 
  Someone who has a more positive outlook and might be able to offer you something constructive? 
  Someone who actually listens and hears you?
   
  I'm glad you decided to go out and eat what you wanted to eat.  Everyone should be able to do that once in a while.  But now it's time to get back into the routine....get walking...get to yoga....take up dancing!  You've got SO MUCH living to do.  SO MUCH in front of you! 
  I'm routing for you!  And sending big {{{{hugs}}}} cause i know it's so hard sometimes!
   
   

• MissMimi said on Jan 31, 2009....

  I'm sorry that you have to fight this battle.  It sucks to have to think about every bite of food you put in your mouth.  When I first was diagnosed, it was so hard to figure out what to eat, and how much to eat, and how to fight my love affair with carbs.  You have to give up eating mindlessly.  I resented it.  I still do.  But honestly, it is what it is, and I keep plugging away.  I'm glad you splurged.  I do that too.
   
  I'm with secret about getting a new doc.  Doctors are supposed to help you fight this disease, not leave you feeling defeated. 
   
  There are some SC'ers who have diabetes.  Maybe we should form a club that has a secret handshake or something.  ;)  {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} for you, and moral support.  PM me any time.  :)

• Me-Myself&I said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Woman, diabetes is on both sides of my family. i have watched 2 grandmas, give themselves their shots each day. my father lost his toes, then foot to diabetes.
  my grandma was into the old ways plus modern medicine, here is what she used that made a believer of the doctor.
   
  Fenugreek (trigonella foenum-gracum) this herbs goes all the way back to the ancient Greeks and Romans.modern research has shown that fenugreek "seeds" not only lower blood glucose but also reduce insulin levels, total cholesterol and also contains 50% fiber. go check it out on the net. it will help you alot.
   
  i am sorry you are fighting this foe. never give up, if you need to get wild and crazy and go feed your face with whatever you want, once in awhile it's good to do so. but please don't suffer afterwards. *smile* i wish you happiness and good health! take care ~see ya

• CreativeWoman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  woman,
  I agree with secret and Mimi that you should get a new doctor.  From my own experience I know what a huge relief it was to me when I did the same thing.  I had already lost a toe and the family doctor I was seeing seemed so uninterested in me as a person.  Heck, she seemed unconcerned about my feet because she never looked at them even when I asked if I could take my shoes off for her.
  
  Long story short, I took a chance on a young doctor.  He has been great for me.  He never puts pressure on me...except to exercise more.   Which I freely admit that I am weak there.
  
  My point is that I feel like he wants to help me take care of me.  He is very preventive in his approach to the foe, but I do know it is me that has to do the work. I'm like you, I really hate the daily fight. 
  
  One thing I do that I have found so very helpful is to keep a daily health journal. I went to the bookstore and bought a really nice bound 2009 calendar that has a full page for each day.  I test three times a day. (before each meal)  I write down the time I tested, what my reading was, exactly what I eat, and -- very important -- what I am feeling.
  
  By doing this it shows both me and the doctor patterns in my blood sugar.  I have discovered that I am sensitive to sugar free products and cool whip for example.  They are things that are supposed to be good for me, but my body doesn't like them.  One thing my endocrinologist helped me to understand was that each and every diabetic is different.   I can't eat things that you can and vice versa.  My emotions are just as big a factor as what I eat. This journal sometimes cramps my style, but it is a useful tool.
  
  Do you see an endocrinologist?  If not, you might consider consulting one.  I really think mine saved my life. 
  
  You are not alone, woman.  Please PM me anytime.
  
  CW
  

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Secret~You sweetie. You always make me feel better, even if you make me cry. I know I have to get going. I had a good day yesterday and I am preparing to have another good day today. I think maybe just putting it out there will ease the burden. I've never done that before but as I said, I'm tired. I am going to stick with the yoga. It appears to good for stress. I might start a zumba class which is a type of cardio dancing. I'm not sure if it will work because I have a lot of nerve damage in my feet and some in my legs. Leaves them with a strange combination of numb/pain.  Thank you for the hug. I swear I felt it over the net!

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Miss Mimi! Secret handshake! You always make me laugh. I think that's an excellent plan. Thinking about everything I eat is a habit now but still one I resent. I am thinking about switching Drs. Thanks Mimi. I need all the help I can get right now.

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  MMI~Hello there. Glad you have electricity now and I hope it stays on for you. This winter has been fierce. Sorry your family has battled this disease. I agree that some old cures have value and I will look it up on the net. The problem with going ahead and eating a crazy meal once in awhile is that it is difficult to resume the old diet. So for me it is best not to no matter how good it tastes. Thanks for your support. It helps.

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Hello CW. I hoped you'd show up. I remember that you had trouble with your Dr. and that you switched. I have a name of a woman specialist and perhaps I will call this week. I think it's time. Journals are good ideas. I did it for a couple of years and learned how much pizza and rice are not my friend. Even a tiny bit! I think part of my issue is the amount of time I have been fighting. You lose some of your steam after 36 years. Drugs that worked at first, don't. Watching your diet took care of so many problems. As time goes on it just becomes more and more resistant and you become more discouraged and just plain tired. That's where I am. Last year I was on Byetta. It gave me fantastic numbers, the best I had seen in decades, BUT I felt so sick I thought I was dying. Literally. I started therapy for depression while I was on it. (went off the week I stopped it. Depression gone!) Some days I could hardly walk. One day I thought that I was going to die. I don't know how to describe the feeling but that's how I felt. Like I had one foot in this world and one in the next. I stopped using it. You probably know it's an injectable drug, twice a day. My doctor won't have me use it again. I think I frightened him. Nothing much is left except insulin which brings it's own problems with it. I'm glad to hear you test frequently. It is helpful. Sometimes when my sugar is on a serious roller coaster, ranging from 400 to 50 I have tested up to 10 times a day. I am very unstable and sometimes it feels better to just be a little high then to go crashing down. Not healthy but the lows are horrid. Anyway, I'm back to fight. Just need a support system this time. Thanks. Woman

• CreativeWoman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  woman,
  My endocrinologist told me that in the event that my oral meds stop working well, I should think about Januvia.  I haven't tried it because I'm doing well on he cheaper medicine.  Januvia doesn't have a generic yet.  My insurance is not fond of anything but generics if they will work.  I keep it in mind though.  It might be something to ask your doctor about if you haven't tried it.
  
  Never feel bad about needing a friend.  I can only imagine how tired of the fight you must be.  I've only been at it a little more than a year and I understand the discouragment.  
  
  I agree that the "crash" feeling is awful.  It's only happened to me a few times and I don't like it at all.  I would rather be a little high myself. 
  
  Like I said, you're not alone.  I know the struggle is forever.
  
  ((((hugs))))
  

• MissMimi said on Jan 31, 2009....

  I take the cheapie stuff, metformin and it seems to be working well.  The hardest part of having diabetes for me, at least to this point, is feeling like all the pleasure has gone out of eating and enjoying food.  It used to make me feel guilty to enjoy food, now it makes me feel really guilty.  I have always had kind of a skewed love-hate relationship with food, but now it's ten times worse.

  It's a great big pain in the ass struggle.  But even with all the struggle and resentment, the changes I had to make when I found out I was diabetic were all positive ones.   I'm much healthier living with diabetes that I was before I knew I had it.

• Lucytorial said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Ma, this broke my heart.  To struggle with this on your mind 24/7 such a difficult burden to carry.  This is it though, you had no control over your diabetes to start with it wasn't what you were doing and as far as I can tell you do more than most diabetics.
   
  Ohh I don't know what to say but hugs Ma and hang in there, as you can already see there are plenty here to help keep your spirits up and provide information.
   
  Ma!!! Change your doctor, he should be supportive and make you feel strong, not deflated.  I'd love to slap him across the face and say "That slap is how you make your patients feel moron, lift your game"

• nytquill17 said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Type one diabetic here, 13 years last fall.  So I've been on insulin from day one, no other option for me.  It's very intense and so much work, all the time.  So much trauma too.  I was 10 years old and suddenly I couldn't eat candy bars anymore.  Couldn't eat anything without getting the hairy eyeball from someone.  My parents, teachers, friends, everybody is staring at what I put on my plate!  Sometimes you just want to scream at people to back the heck off.  I have had people at church dinners ask me "should you be eating that?" or come out and tell me I shouldn't eat something...people feel such a right to intrude on a diabetic, I don't know why.  You never see anyone except maybe a spouse, telling a heart patient not to eat that Big Mac, y'know?
  
  On the other hand I have the benefit of never being blamed for getting the disease.  Type 1 is a pure fluke of genetics.  The thing is, people forget that type 2 can be also...there are really skinny people, string beans, health freaks, who mysteriously get type 2.  It's not as common but it happens.  People just think type 2 is always your fault and you could have stopped it.  But even when that may be true, nobody's got any business thinking that about you!!
  
  And it's the same for blood sugars.  I ran into this a lot being so young, where my parents still felt like diabetes was their job and they were terrified and yet didn't understand the disease all that well.  People think every high or low is your fault.  Some of them are.  And some of them are absolute mysteries.  But so many people think that it's as simple as balancing a scale, medicine and exercise on one side and food on the other, and they ask you why on earth can't you do this, do you not realize you could DIE?? (or other dire things).  Like it's just a matter of knowing and then you'll be scared straight.
  
  I had a doctor...well not a doctor, but part of a "diabetes team," a diabetes educator I believe she was.  She weighed 300 pounds I'd guess (not to criticize a person for their weight, but this is important to the story).  Anyway this was in the early days when I had just been diagnosed and was still learning the ropes.  I was in the throes of puberty too which is just hell on your blood sugars (growth hormone and certain sex hormones being some of the many things in your body that counteract insulin).  And there was this whopping high blood sugar in my records that she saw, and she sung out "someone wasn't watching what they were eating!"
  
  I have heard of a conference weekend for diabetes doctors where, the entire weekend, everyone who went had to check their blood sugar at every meal and snack, take shots of saltwater, and basically follow the regime and schedule of a diabetic.  I wish such a thing was a legal requirement for any doctor with diabetic patients or parents with a diabetic child.  Spouses too.
  

• MissMimi said on Jan 31, 2009....

  quillie (there.  I've finally come up with a nickname for you), you have a good idea there, that health professionals should be required to follow a diabetic regime for a time, just to see what it's like.  It might not change their medical advice to their patients, but at least, hopefully they wouldn't be so cavalier and unfeeling.  When I went to diabetes school, the instructor made it sound as if changing your diet is an easily accomplished task.  It's not.  And God save me from the diabetic police who make it their mission in life to make sure I eat only what I'm supposed to eat.  Idiots.

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  CW~I have been on Januvia for over a year. I think shortly after it came out. I think it helps a little but as I said, nothing is really helping much right now. Oh, probably helping but not enough. I think I've been on everything but insulin. Thanks for your support. It's going to help.

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Lucy dear. Don't be too upset. It will ok one way or another. I have had two days of being the model diabetic again and I think with everyone's help I can get back on track. You've all given me a burst of energy. And maybe if I up the exercise I can beat it down again. You never fail to make me laugh. You don't know how much I would pay to see you slap the pompous man. Thanks for the giggle. Don't be a stranger.

• Hegemone said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Woman, I haven't got diabetes but I really had a stirring of emotions reading this.  It just isn't fair that people must deal with these types of things.  It sounds like you've been doing a wonderful thing keeping it all at bay for so long, staying so regimented, so "well behaved" healthfully.  My gosh, I couldn't even imagine, and that makes me feel ashamed because I whine and moan about this little thing or that.  I do draw a couple of things from this though ... you've been battling it for so long now, you CAN and WILL continue to do so.  There is nothing wrong with needing that hand to hold, shoulder to cry on, etc.  The other thing is that doctor ... that was pretty unprofessional to just come in blaming you and your habits without first discussing it with you even!  Had he perhaps taken the time to get to know what your life is like in relation to all of this he would have known that it isn't your fault and that maybe there is more HE needs to do instead of being lazy and blaming you.  I agree that you should definitely find a new doctor.  You should never have to leave a doctor's office feeling deflated and angry for that kind of a reason.  I can't say you should never leave a doc's office feeling bad because well, people go to the doc sick, people find out bad news ... but certainly should never feel as their doctor just insulted them more or less, which is how I would have taken it.  You hang in there, all will be fine, you've got a very wide support system here as you can see.  (((((((hug))))))))

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  nytquill~Thanks for writing. You've been at this for awhile. As a teacher I frequently had one or more students who had been diagnosed as type 1. I would try and talk to them and we would compare testing kits and laugh. One day I found a little sweetie sitting in my room in the dark. It was my lunchtime and she had wandered in there. Her sugar was very low and she was confused and disoriented. I carried her down to the office and we got the ambulance to come. Gave her some juice first. I'm so sorry you had to deal with this as a child. Nothing could be worse. Yes, I HATE the food police. I know some people are just worried about me and think they are helping but I soooo do not need to hear about the effects of high sugar. I would imagine that bothered you even more as a teenager. I'm sorry but I had to laugh at your 300 pound Dr. (As you said, not making fun of the weight). Are you doing well with your control? Do you feel that the insulin makes you gain weight? My doctor is positive it will with me and then that will cause other issues. It's the only thing keeping me off the insulin. Good or bad. I hope you keep in touch. Thanks again.

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Miss Mimi~I say we let Lucy slap all the unfeeling Doctors. I think the laughter would lower our blood sugar. Oh heck. Let's let her slap all the food police too!!

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Hedge~Nope it really isn't fair but so many things in life aren't. On good days I consider this a minor issue. At 60 I have already lost friends to cancer, and heart disease. I'm here. I still do exciting things. I still hold my grandchildren. It's mostly good. Just sometimes, and mostly lately, I feel tired of it all. I will get back on the right path. Just finished 2 great days and tomorrow will be the third. Thank you for all your kind words and suipport. woman

• Lucytorial said on Jan 31, 2009....

  tee hehee well it isn't right, if he doesn't know what to do then he shouldn't be berrating his patient he should be referring... pomopus is a fabulous word and he sounds just that!
   
  I've heard exercise is great for controlling diabetes, which kind I don't know.  Get into your fishes and low gi stuff again.  Everynow and then a treat is okay iof you plan for it.  I know that CW has done that, planned for a treat and then well you know what it will do....

• nytquill17 said on Jan 31, 2009....

  I bet that little girl was so grateful to have you in particular to help her.  Anybody else would have been terrified and probably overreacted.  When I was diagnosed I lived in a small community and I was the only one in the entire community with type 1.  My parents had to come to school and explain the basics to all my teachers, and they put up posters of "high" and "low" symptoms in my home classroom (talk about embarassing!)  But the other kids were great about it.  Some of the girls would come to the bathroom and watch me do my tests and shots and ask questions.  Sometimes I let them prick their own fingers (changed the needle before and after of course!)  But I wanted to encourage them because I would rather they be curious than afraid of me.
  
  I did gain weight on insulin when I first started, but only because I was wasting away from high blood sugar before they figured out what was wrong with me.  I had no insulin in my body at all so everything I ate couldn't get out of my blood and into the parts of my body that needed it.  So once I got on insulin I gained the weight back and a little bit more (hehe).  But now I am watching what I eat and exercising more and I'm losing weight on insulin.  It's harder to keep off weight on insulin but not impossible.  And maybe the newer insulins are better about that too... they certainly let you be more flexible in your schedule and your diet.  I think one helpful thing is to learn when you need the most insulin (for me it's the mornings) and eat the smallest meals then so you don't need HUGE doses of insulin all at once.
  

• nytquill17 said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Reading back I'm not sure I was clear... I gained more weight than I should have on insulin not because of the insulin but because I got carried away with eating after having been so hungry for so long.
  
  Insulin does make you gain weight because it helps the food get from yoru blood to your body more efficiently.  If you take a lot of large doses one of the things it does is tell your body to store more fat.  And everyone's body is different, some struggle more with that than others.  But it is possible to take insulin and not gain weight, or even as I am doing to lose weight while taking insulin.  It just takes more work than it would if I weren't on insulin.
  
  I think though that I prefer being on shots in the end because I have a lot more freedom in what I can eat and what my schedule can be.  Taking insulin makes your diabetes care more intense but also more flexible.  Especially with these newer insulins that work so much better than the ones I started on even just 13 years ago.   Insulin has come a long way.
  

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Lucy. You keep me laughing and I may be cured! No treats for me for a long time. They just get me off track. It's hard to exercise when there is 3 feet of snow outside but I am taking yoga classes and I am walking in the malls and stores. NOOOOOO not shopping. Just walking. Maybe I will come and take that dance class with you!

• woman said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Nytquill~The children do feel different and it always made me feel like my diabetes had a good side if I could help them be more at ease. Now I am retired but I have nice memories. If I need to use insulin, I am ready. I like to travel and I am a little concerned about that. That and the weight gain. My doctor said flat out, everyone gains on it. Glad to hear your side. Another thing that worries me is having more lows. They frighten me and make me feel out of control. Do you have problems with that? You are a sweetheart for taking this time with me. Thank you.

• nytquill17 said on Jan 31, 2009....

  I would say it's very easy to gain on it and since most people aren't careful most people do gain...but it's not inevitable either.  There is an element of body chemistry also that you can't really predict until you try it.
  
  Travelling with insulin is a cinch. Well I think so because I've always done it, but I don't find it stressful or problematic.  I guess if you travel by plane or cross international borders it helps to have a doctor's note or copy of your prescription.  I use insulin pens though so they're not as conspicuous or scary-looking as a vial-and-syringe combo.
  
  You do have more lows I think on insulin than on pills just because insulin is a bit more aggressive.  But on the other hand you have more flexibility also.  For example, if I know I'm going for a long walk after lunch and I'm afraid I might go low, I can shave one or two units of insulin off my lunchtime shot to play it safe.  But with pills, you can't really finesse it like that.  Also with the newer insulins they are out of the body so fast that you don't have nearly the problems there used to be.  It was a lot easier to mess up and run into lows when your insulin was active for 6 or even 12 hours and had different "peak" times that would sometimes double up on each other.
  
  I guess the trick to dealing with lows for me has been to learn my body.  What time is best to exercise, how does insulin affect me in the morning, in the afternoon, or overnight, etc.  I'm on an intensive management routine which is basically just a lot of math.  I have one formula to use to figure out how much insulin I need to take to bring my blood sugar down.  Another formula for how much insulin I need to cover carbs at mealtime (it's actually a different formula for each meal because your body reacts differently to carbs at different times of the day).  Another formula to know how much insulin to subtract if I have been or am going to be active.  Put it all together and that's my dose.  It took some time to find the right formulas and I did have a fair number of lows while figuring that all out.
  
  But these days I usually only have lows if I do something silly like "guess" my insulin dose or workout harder or longer than I planned.  What I mean is usually for every low I can point to something that *I* did that caused it, that I probably knew better.  I don't have a lot of mystery lows now that I have my routine worked out.  I still hate going low - it makes it really hard to stick to my diet and eat just 15 grams of carbs, when I just want to stuff my face until I stop shaking!  But it doesn't happen very often since I can choose for myself how aggressive to be on my insulin.
  
  If you go on insulin your docs may not put you on the same kinds or the same plan as me though.  Obviously your doctors and you know your body best and what you need.  But definitely if someone suggests or you are interested in intensive management, don't be afraid of it!  I absolutely love it.  Of course the body is not a calculator so sometimes you're still left scratching your head, how did it get that high?  But overall it makes everything feel so manageable - unexpected high? it's okay, I have my formulas, I can fix this!  And honestly it's a breeze compared to the kind of hard work you've been doing with diet and exercise.
  

• bluegum said on Jan 31, 2009....

  g'day, 3 feet of snow sounds beautiful ,hope the diabetes takes a hike ,its a lovely afternoon where i live ,must go and mow the grass .blue.

• Lucytorial said on Jan 31, 2009....

  Have sex? that burns more calories and is a better work out than a marathon run of 30 miles..... try it, its fun too! tee he hehee
   
  Well if you don't laugh you will cry right? so who else is gonna make fun of yoru situation better than me, who is exactly in her 36th year of life right now.
   
  Blue you bastard! how could you! tee he he hee actually a cyclones heading south from us as I speak, nothing really just a little rain and blow... but you like that don'tcha Bluey! LOL

• woman said on Feb 01, 2009....

  Nyquil~ I was concerned about temperature and the insulin. And yes, I travel to Cental America and other distant places. I'm glad to hear you can use the pens. They make it a lot easier. I used them when I took Byetta. You make it sound doable but you also sound a little like a chemistry professor!! Math isn't my strength!! 15 grams of carbs? Is that in a day? I would be bottoming out all the time on that. Is that what your Dr. suggests? It's good to see you know yourself and your body and are handling your diabetes well. You don't let it stop you, do you? Good for you. Thank you for making it sound much more managable. You've been a great help. 15 grams???

• woman said on Feb 01, 2009....

  Blue~It is beautiful. It is also a pain. Diabetes isn't going anywhere but a hike would make it behave a little better. You have fun mowing the grass. I don't remember what it looks like... Thanks for stopping in Blue.

• woman said on Feb 01, 2009....

  Lucy~Fabulous idea and I'm not against it. You do know the situation there dear! So behave. It's bad enough not having chocolate! You go right ahead and make fun because I do love a good laugh. Is it your birthday Lucy??

• nytquill17 said on Feb 01, 2009....

  Haha well I have had to learn a fair bit of science (health science and nutrition mostly) but it's possible to do it without that.  I just like to know how it all works together and I find it easier knowing than not knowing.  For some people it's the other way around :)
  
  15g carbs is what you're supposed to eat to treat a low.  In a day I eat 150-200g depending (but about 20g of that is fiber which is chemically a carb but it doesn't really count because it doesn't affect your blood sugar!).  But for a low the rule is eat 15g (about one slice of bread) and wait 15 minutes.  If you're still low, another 15g and 15 minutes.
  
  The math part really isn't all that complicated to use.  It just takes a lot of words to explain!  I'm so NOT math-oriented at all...I always tell people I was an English major for a reason!
  
  I haven't always been this good about it.  For many many years I just kind of gave up on myself.  Barely ever checked my blood sugar, took insulin just when I started to feel sick.  It was pretty bad.  But even then it wasn't really the diabetes getting me down.  It was some other stuff kind of related to it, a bit hard to explain without taking up a lot of your time.  I like to say that I had some "mental scar tissue" that got in the way, I had to break it down, in order to take care of myself.  It grows back sometimes and I fall off the wagon, but you just gotta stop beating yourself up, and get back on again.
  
  Temperature while travelling is a bit inconvenient but not too hard to do.  The main thing is, don't leave it in the car and don't pack it in your checked luggage on the plane (it will freeze).  Bring one to carry around with you while you're out and about and at least one more to leave in your hotel room as backup.  That's the great thing about pens too, the cartridges are so small that if you do happen to lose one to temperature you haven't wasted much insulin. 
  
  When I travel, granted I don't go anywhere exotic much!  but I take a small insulated lunch box and a small ice pack, it works perfectly.  Bring a plastic bag or small container so that if you can't refreeze the ice pack at your destination, you can just fill the container with ice and stick it in the lunch box instead.  If you look around enough, you can buy a plug-in cooler, you can plug it into an outlet or a car cigarette lighter and it will keep itself cold.
  
  Another thing to remember is that insulin, opened or unopened, is good out of the fridge for 30 days, as long as it stays at room temperature.  And a bottle or cartridge of insulin is only good for 30 days once you stick that first needle into it, refrigerated or not (unopened and refrigerated it will last 90).  So basically whatever insulin you're currently using doesn't actually need to be kept refrigerated all the time.  Only the "extras" do.
  
  Anyway you're not there yet!  But if you have any questions I'll be happy to share what I know.  The more you know about this disease yourself, and the less you have to depend on your doctor to tell you what to do, the easier and better it is!  I've been there so many times...the unhelpful doctors, the ones that actually blame you, the ones that don't listen or that act like drill sergeants!  And oh it hurts, it breaks your heart.  Because you try so hard and you just want somebody to tell you you're doing a good job and instead they make you feel like you're some kind of terrible human being for not being able to control something that even they don't fully understand!  Where do they get off??
  
  It took me quite a while to learn that a doctor may be an expert but they aren't God, and they aren't my mother either!  Especially if you are seeing just a regular family doctor for your diabetes...that means he is not an expert on diabetes!  But you are!  You've lived with it and dealt with it so much more than this guy has!  And even more importantly, you are the expert on YOU.  You know when you have done your best, when it's not your fault, when something's right or something's wrong.  Nobody, no matter how long they went to school, knows more about you than you do.
  
  You don't work for your doctor, your doctor works for you.  He's supposed to be on your side, on your team.  You can fire him! ;)  Or at least keep telling yourself that just because he's a good doctor doesn't mean he's always right, knows all the answers, or that he gets to judge you.
  

• blueraven6 said on Jul 26, 2009....

  May I seriously suggest the in depth study and exercises of Tai
  Chi?
  
  They look and feel like ballet.
  
  Try it. You'll like it!
  
  I'm Also retired, and too busy to tolerate being ill, but I'm handicapped physically, and life's daily little frustrations often make me scream and cry, alternately.
  
  You are not alone.
  
  So much for protecting my Country.
  
  

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