So this would be the post in which I'll tell you about a part of mine and my friend's conversation. I've known this friend for a while now. We went to school together, started hanging out and got to being friends in about 7th grade. In my opinion this was a little bit of too much information, but whatever. I didn't even know how to answer her. I also tried to change the topic, but it made me curious.
She mentioned that she's been worried about something. I stupidly inquired as to what. She filled me in and it was NOT what I was expecting.
She's worried that she could be a lesbian. She has a boyfriend, whom she lives with and is sexually active with. She enjoys it a lot. Never problems there supposedly. However, she has commented that lately it seems like she's been watching a lot of lesbian porn. She's noticed that she almost seems to enjoy watching that more than "straight" porn I suppose. Now, I don't know what she meant by straight porn and I didn't want to ask, so we'll just assume that means a guy and a girl. She asked me if it meant that she was a lesbian because she has been getting off to lesbian porn.
My best answer was that maybe she was just subconsciously experimenting. I didn't want to ask her if she ever had actually experimented, but as freaked out as she was I get the impression she hadn't. Then again, maybe that's why she was so worried because perhaps she had but was too embarrassed to share that piece of information. Trust me, I'm not complaining that she didn't share because that would have been even weirder. I also told her that maybe, if anything, since she has a boyfriend and enjoys sex with men, perhaps the most she could be was bisexual.
I didn't really know how else to answer, and while there could have been more questions I could've asked, it was already a TMI so I didn't want to know more really. I have no clue what it would mean personally. I also told her that and that maybe she need not worry over it. It made the conversation pretty awkward so we didn't really go into it too much more. So, the question is:
If a woman watches lesbian porn and that's all she gets off too (aside from sex with her male partner) does that mean she could be a lesbian?
Hegemone posted on Jan 26, 2009
| views: 253
Comments
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scipio said on Jan 27, 2009....
Maybe sometimes - if the actresses in the movie are attractive and matches your subconsious desires then why not get off and enjoy. Some part of their body may cause arousal - maybe like well shaped boobs or good shapely legs / toes etc. -
diabolicdame said on Jan 27, 2009....
I dont she's a lesbian unless she actually does it with a girl and likes it.. watching is just watching.. -
Hegemone said on Jan 27, 2009....
Scipio - I think I see what you're saying. I think it has a lot to do with societies views on homosexuals as well. It's this tabboo thing, so you can't just come out and say 'Yeah, I am sexually attracted to my own gender!' without fear of being the outsider and having people hiss and boo at ya. Such a shame people have to be afraid of something so innocent.
DD - I tend to think the same way. I mean, at most, as I answered maybe it's her subconscious exploring and even at the maximum if she ever goes beyond interest in women in porn that would only be bisexuality at that rate. I don't think she's got anything to worry about.
Thank you both for answering!
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tizzygirl said on Jan 27, 2009....
Um, I don't think she's a lesbian, although if she is actually thinking she might be maybe she is doubting sex with men more than she lets on. Quite honestly I've always enjoyed lesbian porn probably more than "straight" porn. I don't really exactly know why, mostly because I think women are beautiful naked. Men naked? I don't know? I like men in clothes, I like them with their shirt off, I like them in their underwear...but all the way naked, a woman wins hands down to me. I know for sure I like sex with men. I am very secure in that. But exploring? Why not. I am not sure that really makes me bisexual. That I am unclear on. I was talking to a friend about that not too long ago, I hope they didn't think it was TMI! But seriously, I might like being with girl, I don't think that is too far fetched, but I would never in a billion years want any sort of relationship with her, EVER. It'd have to be like a one night stand....so I'm sure that means I am not a lesbian, but bisexual? I don't know. Maybe just bi-curious. But don't lesbians actually have romantic feelings and such for the same sex? Not just interested in sex? I don't know. Was all this TMI?
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CreativeWoman said on Jan 27, 2009....
I'm thinking it's curiosity. Is her boyfriend pushing her to try "new" things? That could be an influence too. Heck if I know about these things.
CW
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Hegemone said on Jan 27, 2009....
Tizzy - Lol, no not TMI, this is an anonymous site anyways. The only reason it was TMI with my friend is because while we went to school together and have known each other for a while, we only get to talk occassionally, so it was just really an odd thing to bring up to somebody who wasn't in her every day life. Then again, maybe that's why she did it. I totally get the bi-curious thing, that would make sense. I didn't even think about that. Lol, from the sound of it maybe I'll need to check out some of that porn then because I've never seen any. I really don't watch it at all, so I don't know much about what's out there at all. You bring up lots of good points though.
CW - So far as what she said they haven't been trying risky new things that make her uncomfortable, but they keep it fresh. I dunno, it could be related, lol.
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fragglesrock said on Jan 27, 2009....
hi hege - i'm jumping in late on this one...after my recent "am i gay?" post i had to chuckle about your friend and her giving you tmi!!! sorry if i ever gave tmi ;) i think it's something she'll just have to figure out for herself...myself? i ascertained that i am def. not gay...lol -
Hegemone said on Jan 27, 2009....
Nah Frag, like I mentioned to tizzy ... this is an anonymous site, and I expect to hear plenty of things I wouldn't expect. This girl I've known for years and we've never really talked about that kind of stuff ... and I probably could've described more as to why it was a TMI, but well, there were further details mentioned that definitely were. Glad to know you figured out you weren't gay, lol. -
gingersoul said on Jan 27, 2009....
Hege......i think we girls have this kind of curiosity more often then we want admit it. I bet that some of my friends have had this feelings as well but they will never tell me.
I can tell you though that i have had a sexual relationship with a woman for more than one year. She was my best girlfriend.
I wasn't lesbian before starting to love her and i have never been lesbian after that...
It just happened.....and it has been beautiful.
I have had several other occasions in which i could have gave in to that side of my sexuality but i never did it. Even recently, a co-worker of mine who is openly lesbian asked me out for a date. I declined.
I find women extremely sensual and beautiful. I am more interested in watching a naked woman than a man, for example....
So i don't find odd at all that your friend has this kind of impulse.
Tell her to lighten up...:-)
Its not the end of the world.....there is nothing shameful .....As long as she is not hurting anybody.....love is love. Attraction is attraction. Who cares about the sex of our desire?
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Hegemone said on Jan 27, 2009....
Ginger - I liked that comment. I'll have to share some of that with her next time we talk. I don't know, maybe she was just looking for reassurance for her feelings. I don't really know, but I know I've never experienced it so it was hard for me to really know what to tell her. Plus, lol, I don't look at porn so I haven't experienced that one either. What you say makes sense. So what if it happens, it's not the end of the world, it's her own desire. It's just a shame in the first place that society has made it so "shameful" so that people can't feel free to be open and honest about what they feel, like, desire, etc. I know not EVERYBODY hides these things, but I know that a lot do just because of how "others will view them". -
PieterOpie said on Jan 29, 2009....
NO.
I hope that answers your question.
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Hegemone said on Jan 30, 2009....
Piet, thank you for the input, I'll let her know, lol. -
starchini said on Jan 30, 2009....
My Dearest Hege,
im a bit late on this one. But lots of different things get lots of people off. Phil likes to play mr dominator and he likes to hear me scream "no!" "stop!" "it hurts!"...It weirded me out at first but i get it and it turned me on too. He wanted to feel masculine and in power and dominating, and i didnt even know it but i wanted to feel helpless and submissive and out of control....One might think this would make Phil some sort of pervert w demented rapist tendencies...but it doesnt. He wouldnt hurt a fly. Most often times it is what we are not in real life, we want to be in the bedroom.
Phil is the most gently caring kind human being on the planet, but in bed what turns him on is the thought of his massive cock ripping me to shreds until i scream in agony...or something like that. Ive probably given ya too much information now huh hege? Ah well, your a big girl i bet you can handle it : P
My point was, just because this chic likes to watch lesbos screw in porn doesnt make her a lesbian. A lot of times what is "Taboo" and something we would never do in real life is what can turn us on. It the abnormal that is sexy...
I myself have absolutly no desire to see two women making love. It doesnt interest me and i dont find it arousing...most likely bc ive had relations with women before and its not something new to me and its not something i particularly enjoyed, it was just experimental.
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Hegemone said on Jan 30, 2009....
Star, I think you've presented a very good point. So far as I know that wouldn't be the norm for her, so her brain is exploring those avenues and she's getting off for it. I wouldn't view Phil as some pervert either, he's not the only one out there like that. Oh, and nah, not a TMI, lol. All of what you say makes sense, I'll have to pass that on to her as well and give her that tidbit to mull over. -
PieterOpie said on Jan 30, 2009....
Yep, Starchini has explained it very well. Your friend is getting aroused by the extreme erotica more so than who is involved. The action and not the details of the participants. It is not something her own desires would have sought for in a fantasy but upon seeing it she got caught up in it. If placed in the actual situation she might even enjoy joining in but again it is not something she would initiate.
Personally if this thread does not quickly get some more hot guys in it I am going to have to abandon ship..... too many naked romping lesbians make me nervous!!!
<whimper.... tremble...>
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Hegemone said on Jan 30, 2009....
Piet, yup, wonderful expansion on Star's comment. And well ... you say it needs more hot guys ... ummm ... well she mentioned that she still likes to think about hot naked guys ... does that count? -
starchini said on Jan 30, 2009....
lol, YAY TWO people have agreed with me today!!! Ive entered so many controversial blogs today that make me feel like a leoper : ) So this is kinda cool : ) Peter, im with you man i agree you should prolly abandon ship in search for some good throbbing man meat to swallow, i myself have had enough, bleh...My apetite will come back soon though, hopefully : ) Hege, thank you for thinking im brilliant ; P hehehe im kiddin with ya : ) I hope your friend become less confused. But hey! Sexual confusion can be quite a ride : P -
PieterOpie said on Jan 30, 2009....
Let me remind everyone here that I no longer do "it". Due to a whole slew of circumstances I have not indulged in matters of the flesh as it were for so long it has all healed over and have declared myself a born-again virgin.
I simply do not think of it as part of my pathetic existence. Believe me, it has distinct advantages not having to pander to one's urges and hormones. That always was a real chore and only paid off every now and then.
Mind you I still have a keen eye for a nice specimen and do enjoy casting an eye over the delightful features of a well-shaped hunk. Fortunately the internet is a playground of endless limits for such persuits. I like erotica more so than hard-core porn but good porn is not bad for a perve*.
*perve: Aussie slang for a look (at).
I am not dead yet but when or if I shall ever share the KY ever again remains a mystery to me. I'm not concerned. However I do have enough experience to last two lifetimes so I have plenty of material to serve as a source for discussion.
I was quite the slut in my time....... hehe
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starchini said on Feb 02, 2009....
I myself have never enjoyed anal peter, i dont blame ya at all...I dont know how some men do it...It hurts like a mo fo! Not me, no way jose bot. Its an exit only. The only time i ever grit my teeth and accept anal is when i need leverage for something of more importance in my life to be done. lol, the last time was when the entire house needed cleaning. Dishes stacked to the ceiling. I didnt want to do it...Phil didnt either...unless..."baby, if you clean the entire house and scrub every dish, ill let you put it in my behind..."...He agreed, for a half hour of agonizing pain, i got out of days and days of cleaning : ) Sooooo worth it : )
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PieterOpie said on Feb 02, 2009....
WOW.... I'm typing but believe me I am speechless. I've never used my ass-ets in labour negotiations myself. The trouble with your approach is largely one of reluctance. The more you don't want it, the more it hurts. Resistance is futile as the Borg say in Star Trek... hehehe. Relaxation is the secret. Complete passivity will serve you well in this situation. I know that might sound "crazy-you-insane-son-of-a-bitch" to you, but it is true.
Men have a bonus effect when having (passive) anal sex because of the prostrate gland which is situated on top of the rectum and is massaged during sex. This results in far greater stimulation and enhanced orgasm. You may be surprised to learn that the nerves of the anus are part of the same nervous system of the sex organ's pleasure senses. This stems from when we were babies and passing poo was very enjoyable. Why? Because it was beneficial for babies to expel their waste. Other parts of the body are also part of this pleasure nervous system such as the lips, nipples and other fun bits. That is why babies love to shove all kinds of things into their mouths. They "explore" objects with their lips and mouths and enjoy doing it. As adults this is also true with all of those fun places our in our person.
I used to like being fucked stupid in my youth. I merely got out of practice and lost interest and now I am completely barren. I am soooo not into it or anything else that I could be mistaken for a reanimated corpse. Well, if I shut-the-fuck-up once in a while......
So there you go. If you haven't been utterly horrified by this anatomy lesson you may try relaxing next time (and use lubrication of course) and you may get the house cleaned on a more regular basis.... and who knows what else.
Class dismissed.......................................
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Hegemone said on Feb 02, 2009....
Star ... Piet ... what a .... well ... educational conversation! Lol, obviously I hadn't checked in in a couple of days. No problem thinkin' you're brilliant Star, lol. Piet, thank you for the lessons ... maybe between what the two of you discussed I'll remember that for future bribery tactics, if necessary. Very interesting indeed. -
abitofeverything said on May 29, 2009....
I don't see the correlation between what gets you off and orientation. personally. But I think a guy in combat boots and a summer dress is adorable.