I'm a little calmer, a little more relaxed today.  Things with my family in law are not finished, but they are calmed for the moment.  My BIL and MIL are both aware that I have had it and will no longer take the excuse 'Well you know that's just how he gets sometimes.'  Hearing that brought me to ponder something.  I'm sure I'm not the only one that's ever heard the phrase:

"Oh, try not to be too upset, that's just how "so and so" is."

Why do they get to be 'how they are' and I have to suck it up?  What if I want to be the way I am?  Well, guess what .... I AM the way I AM!  I'm going to react however I damn well see fit.  So, fine, sure he's the way he is ... I'm the way I am ... you can tell him to get over it just as much as you're telling me to.  Has anybody else been faced with that statement?  How did/do you handle it?

I've made my position known.  I'm lying in wait, ready to pounce.  My FIL will bait me into a conversation in which he'll want to brag about the most recent goings on.  When he does ... I will release the poison, so to speak. 

That said, I want it to be known that I am not maintaining a high level, pissed off attitude 24/7.  I'm merely taking care of business when it's necessary and making sure to cover all of my bases.  It's leaving me in a much more relaxed state not worrying about who's going to think what about my getting pissed off and fed up.  I'm getting to this point that I am full on starting to realize that I'm doing things for me (and some for my husband).  I'm losing weight so I can be healthier and happier.  I'm moving my horse so I can cut down on stress for myself.  I'm not taking the crap anymore so I don't have to stress and so my husband doesn't have to stress (which makes me stressed because I worry about him).  To hell with all of those soul sucking, selfish, whiny bastards that I have to say are my in-laws.  Why should I put their happiness and comfort before my own?

I'm 23, almost 24 ... I don't want to be the 60 year old who wonders where the good years went, or if there even were any!  I want things as good as can be so that I've got lots of really awesome memories to look back at, not constant stress, hurt feelings and family turmoil.

Which this whole thing has led me to do some even further pondering ... I was lying in bed Saturday night actually strenuously trying to think of what my grandmother, my great aunt or even my husband's grandparents would have done.  How would they handle this?  There is no surefire way to know.  There is only 'How will WE handle this?' in reality.  It frustrates me that there is no way to tap into their knowledge, wisdom and knack for getting the point across without an uproar.  I mean my great aunt no more than 2 months before she died told my FIL that he was a damn alcoholic and needed to stop abusing his family ... to his face!  He didn't get mad or anything.

Do any of you try to tap into somebody's knowledge or at least try to think of how they'd handle a scenario before you act?  If so, who and why?  If not, why?

Wait, I know, I've got it!  I'm going to take an elixir, age 20 or 30 years past his current age and tell him off!  I'm gonna be truthful with him and he won't bitch because he'll have an elder telling him what a piece of crap he's acting like!  MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Just kidding.  At least I can keep good spirits about this, although the whole thing has turned very business like, you know?  I don't foresee good times in the future involving my FIL.  My husband wants to turn his farm keys in and tell his dad to shove it.  I asked him to give me enough time to move my horse so he doesn't rush me with it. 

It will definitely be nice going home today and relaxing by myself.  I've got lots more to blog about, but I wanted this post to mostly contain all the family in law leftover tidbits I'd been mulling over and wanting to express.  I don't want to inter mingle this with my other thoughts.  So ... as I have a half an hour left at work ... I'm gonna finish this one up and probably post another one once I get home, eat and maybe do a couple of other things.  Until then ... bye bye!