• PieterOpie said on Jan 25, 2009....

  I shall be brief.  Your sister is nuts.
  
  Don't be sad anymore..... 
  

• Alyss said on Jan 25, 2009....

  fallyn, my sister thinks something similiar and hasn't forgiven me for breaking up with DH and spoiling her 'perfect family' idea.

• Fallyn said on Jan 25, 2009....

  pieter .....hard not to be sad. i thought we were starting to see eye to eye..i was wrong.
   
  alyss.
  perfect families are a myth. ...even hers isn't perfect even though she has a realy god relationship.

• Fallyn said on Jan 25, 2009....

  good. jeez.

• PieterOpie said on Jan 25, 2009....

  If I were you Fallyn I would serious think about taking this gloden opportunity to tell your sister that you broke up with your beloved (DH~?) because you are gay.  Try to get some mileage out of the situation.  Be sure to dress a little strangely when she drops in on you for one of her "judging you" visits and make vague criptic remarks about things like drugs and other sordid activities. 
  If you are going to hell anyway then why not I say....
  Black magic could be another angle of course.  You'll need a black cat and a modest sized coldrun. Appropriate books should be left out around the house.
  Good Luck.... oh, and see you in hell darling.
  

• PieterOpie said on Jan 25, 2009....

  uh oh.... I got you two mixed up.  I must have read the wrong post and thought.... oh you know.... i messed up.  Sorry folks.... 
  
  The thrust of my advice is still applicable though.  
  

• Fallyn said on Jan 25, 2009....

  oh she doesn't judge me for leaving him...she thinks i did the right thing...but...i should be trying to find another guy in the church.
  and shouldn't be having sex outside of marriage.etc.
  she was a virgin on her wedding night.
   
  oh...and i'm corrupting my children. that's probably the worst sin of all.

• wishyouwerehere said on Jan 25, 2009....

  There are no degrees of sin, Fallyn - which is why we should refrain from judging others ... no one can stand blameless in the face of God.  I seriously doubt your children are being corrupted. 
   
  I've faced similar criticisms from someone in my family - it's painful and it really stinks, but it isn't valid.  Don't wear anyone else's labels - just be who you are!
   
  Hugs - Wishy

• Fallyn said on Jan 25, 2009....

  wishy oh i'm trying i am trying.
  it's disappointing that i will never have the relationship with my sister that i thought i could. ...we had a really hard time getting along growing up.....
  oddly enough i was the perfect little good christian girl and she was the "wilder" one.

• wishyouwerehere said on Jan 25, 2009....

  That is sad - I feel such disappointment from something similar.  Just today I was told how I am a bad Christian and do not set a good example for others.  I think it's a diversion tactic - judgment from others who do it as a way of making themselves seem greater ... chances are, your sister is trying to compensate for a childhood where she subconsciously thought you were better than her ... the joke is, you still are ... you are not the one trying to elevate yourself by stepping on somebody else.
   
  More hugs - Wishy

• Fallyn said on Jan 25, 2009....

  i'm not better than her.....there's probably a lot in this world that i'm not understanding.
   
  i think she truly loves me and cares about me......*sigh*

• PieterOpie said on Jan 25, 2009....

  Stay calm everybody.... come on now. 
  For starters Jesus made a point of demonstrating that we should not JUDGE OTHERS.  It's a famous routine he did with stone-throwing and all that.  Remember?  Trust me.... he is going to be much more annoyed with her for being a hypocrite and telling you how to live.  How you live is entirely up to you. God loves people - not robots.
  
  Then there is the thing about you having to meet some guy for her church with her seal of approval on him.  OMG -  you may as well just date your crazy sister. He'll side with her every time there is friction between you and your dominerring judgemental dictatorial sister,  And there will be friction.  She sounds like she looks for reasons to make friction. 
  
  As for your children....  it is her kind that brainwash kiddies to believe in what is essentially UNBELIEVABLE.  That is corrupting minors.  Her insane superstition is her business. She has NO right to impose her will on you or your children.  My god - it's like living with Nazis!!!
  
  Frankly she says she loves you but I owe her nothing and can speak my mind....  she HAS to say she loves you.  She obviously hates every aspect of your life.  Over-zealous christians strike me as very bitter and hate-filled people.  She hates what you do, what you are, what you think, what you want.... everything BUT she loves you.  Yeah - lovely. 
  
  She could behave in a more loving way by being understanding and forgiving like her precious Jesus.   Man... what a hypocritical witch she is.
  
  By the way, we choose our friends and our lovers, we do NOT choose our relatives.  There is no law that forces you to love your siblings.   It took me a long time to recognise that my brother had been a bastard to me all my life and after my parents died I eventually let him go.  I no longer care what he does and he cannot hurt me anymore.  I do not have to love him or even deal with him.  Good riddance.
  
  I think you are falling into an emotional trap here. You need to assert yourself and tell her to back off or suffer the consequences.  That could mean seperating yourself from her influence and the risk of her turning other against you.  If you need to go to the same church (god knows why) then so be it.  Frankly you do not need a church to love god. You can do that quite completely at home.  God understands, 
  
  This relationship with the dominatrix is a toxic one.  The longer you live under her evil venomous pressure you will get sicker and weaker.  She wants your spirit - not your soul.  Don't let her own you. Don't let her poison your life.  She won't give in and I think you know it.  Be strong and lay down the law - the law of YOUR HOUSE and YOUR LIFE.  Tell her OR ELSE she gets seriously dumped until she tows the line.  Don't be her intrument so she can feel like she has broken you for her idea of what is best for you. 
  
  Do not be sentimental and emotional at this time.  If you get all soppy and depressed now then she has you at a huge advantage. 
  
  BE STRONG!!!!  BE DECISIVE!!!   BE YOU!!!!   FIND STRENGTH IN THE LOVE FOR YOUR CHILDREN.  YOU CAN DO IT.   YESSSSS!!!
  
  No more tyranny...... no more hate..... no more oppresion!!!!   FREEDOM!!!!!!!
  
  
  
  and THAT is the way I see it.
  

• Fallyn said on Jan 26, 2009....

  god and i seem to have an understanding..... we leave each other alone. the only church i step foot in is the church i grew up in.....people i consider family. and that happens once every few months ....maybe.
  
  as for jesus.....if i could follow him i would....he seems a decent fellow.
  as for my sister, ......we left each other alone for a long time.....until my kids were taken away by their father...and she came to my rescue....pulled me up from the depths and got me on the road to getting my kids back.
  
  i don't know that i feel like i "owe" her......but i did feel that we could have a relationship.. .....i think i might have been wrong.
  i will forever be grateful that she helped me. but i can't live my life by her ways.
  
  and i'm done having discussions with her.
  
  

• PieterOpie said on Jan 26, 2009....

  God leaves everybody alone.  I don't think god does anything other than exist.  Of course that is coming from someone who does not know if there is a god.  I imagine he would not interfere in our affairs.  Neither should we meddle in his. 
  
  You need to talk to your sister.  If you can fend her off or don't want to because of what she did then you need to make your feelings known or you'll go crazy.  One crazy sister is enough don't you think. 
  
  Despite having helped reunite you with your children she is not their mother.  Raising them is your business.  She must respect that.
  

• wishyouwerehere said on Jan 26, 2009....

  Fallyn - I didn't mean to put your sister down - I am sure you love her, as I love all of my siblings, even though I am closer to some than others.  You are definitely not alone in feeling like there are many things you don't understand.  What sets you apart is the willingness to acknowledge your own limitations.  Your sister could take a page from this - less judgement and more acceptance would probably go a long way.

  I hope you are feeling a little better today - Wishy

• Fallyn said on Jan 26, 2009....

  pieter.....yeah, i'm not sure either. ...it's not something i choose to worry about anymore. ...it's a long story.
  
  wishy. *HUGS* thank you so much.
  
  
  

• PieterOpie said on Jan 27, 2009....

  Then pray tell...... what are we all doing here?  
  
  Are you just letting off steam or are we going to have her bumped off?
  
  In the economic climate right now it won't cost more than about....hmm...  $45.
  
  I'll put in $10.........  NO..... $15.  I hate her guts!!!!
  

• Fallyn said on Jan 27, 2009....

  *laughing* eh....i still love her.
  
  tonight we had a discussion on reparations to slaves... .(something i know VERY little about) ......and the pros and cons of the welfare system.
  
  we didn't come to blows. :P ....she was being nice....cause i walked her through cooking lemon salmon over the phone.
  

• PieterOpie said on Jan 27, 2009....

  Well OK... since you still love her we can go upmarket a bit if you are willing to spend a bit more.  Maybe something classy or exotic.  Something oriental perhaps... 
  
  Oh - I  know.... bamboo shavings in the lemon salmon.....  DEADLY!!!!!
  
  
  
  
  <chuckle chuckle>    I am beginning to see the appeal of torture........... mmm....
  
  Maybe I'll just go ahead without you....  MHUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
  

• Fallyn said on Jan 27, 2009....

  *giggling* um.....wow...... you're close enough...you could go after her husbands family. 

• PieterOpie said on Jan 27, 2009....

  Naaa... I am too busy proving what a moral person I am in another thread.

• Fallyn said on Jan 29, 2009....

  *laughing* planning on running for public office any time soon?

• PieterOpie said on Jan 29, 2009....

  Not now.  Obama is more than qualified.   I am going into business and have declared myself Pope in yet another thread.... 
  
  Hey??  Aren't you one of my High Priestesses??  
  

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