THE SECRETS OF GIVING GOOD HEAD!!  REALLY!!  (if you don’t believe me then read on…)

A gay close friend and I had a recent discussion on the difference between blowjobs done by women and blowjobs done by men.  It seems, that after the countless hours of research done on XTube that we’ve done, we were both in agreement that blowjobs done by men were 100% better than the ones dones by women.  I mean, seriously, when you watch the ones done by women, half of the time you feel like they don’t know what the hell they’re doing.  They’re rolling their eyes up into their sockets, looking “sexy”, but when it comes down to technique, they’re all shit:  they hit the wrong spots, their grip is too loose, there’s no variety, all they do is swirl their sorry pink little tongues up and down that thing like it’s a tall McDonald’s ice cream cone.  They seem so sloppy yet…careless…at the same time.  Like a guy is going to come after a few licks here and there, a few haphazard wanks here and there, look up at him with your fake sexy eyes, and you think you’ve won him over.  WRONG!!!  There have been so many times where I’ve yelled at the computer screen, watching a woman give a blowjob, and yell, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU BIMBO!!  YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!!!”  And then I throw my fists in the air, grunt because I’m pissed off, and furrow my eyebrows because I’m embarrassed at the fact that there’s another useless woman living on this gynormous world that can’t even give good head, even on camera.

Now, when it comes to guy-on-guy blowjobs…wow…can I say “bow down”??  Now you KNOW when you see a guy giving a blowjob, he knows EXACTLY what to do:  he’s hitting the right spots, moving around different areas of the shaft, the penis, the head, the balls, a few spots here and there around the surrounding areas of the penis, and he’s doesn’t even do the usual girl move of “let me show you I’m sexy by looking up at you with my eyes half closed like I’m dead” or some shit like that.  He just does his thing, rarely looks up, he just does his job and gets the job DONE!!

Now that’s something to commend about.  Bravo to the gay guy that knows how to handle his equipment.  So…you ladies…here is a lesson on HOW TO GIVE A PROPER BLOWJOB:

Okay, you girls may think I’m nuts, but I’m really serious about this.  In order for a guy to want to come back to you again (and believe me, this has never failed on my part, a guy who loved what you did will call and call you again for booty, no matter what), you need to know how to handle his equipment, his family jewels, his Joni and Chachis, WHATEVER:  just learn how to do it right, please??

Okay, here is a short anatomy of a guy’s penis:  first, on top, you have the head.  The head, on the bottom side of the penis, is connected to a long vein that runs underneath the penis and sticks out when he’s hard.  And that vein is part of the shaft, that runs all the way down to his balls.  Underneath his balls, is a small area of skin that’s called the perennium, which is where his prostate is located underneath the skin (more on the perennium on another post).  Then, you get to his anus, or his butthole, and the surrounding area are his butt cheeks.  Got it?

Most girls focus on the top of the head and swirl around on top of it.  That, of course, is basic.  But, if you notice, the head of the penis looks a little like a mushroom and potrudes out like a cone hat, right?  Well, if you want to get his attention, you should focus on that area under his head, which is a little ridge of skin that connects to the shaft and the head.  You do a little digging in there with the pointy part of your tongue, and he’ll be majorly surprised.

Another thing that you can do on the head is focusing on the hole on top of the penis, prodding your way in and out with the tip of your tongue moments at a time, I’ve heard that that is another good sensation for guys as well.

As you dig your tongue in that hidden area, you’ll noticed that when you get to the T-section where the vein meets the head, there’s a bit of a knob that sticks out at the T-sections.  If you flick your tongue on that small knob, the boys will go crazy, I guarantee it.

Things you can do on the vein:  Basically, after he gets hard enough where you’ll see the vein, focus on the vein for a while, like flicking it from side to side, use long strokes going up and down with your tongue, or pressing it (not hard, but firm, you don’t want to hurt him) in increments as you go up and down on his shaft.  It’s a great way to get him surprised with new sensations as you massage his balls with your hands.

Next, comes the balls.  You may be surprised, but guys really like it when girls mess with their balls, if handled properly.  Every guy is different, but think of holding guy’s balls like they were like holding lightbulbs…you have to hold them firmly, but if you hold them too tight, they’ll break.  Massaging one with your fingers in the palm of your hand while you’re lightly sucking on the other is a good thing to do…and when I mean suck on them, suck on the skin, surrounding the ball, but not the ball itself - that would just hurt them in general.  Be gentle, but firm.  The guy will tell you if it’s too much or too little, he’ll guide you (if he’s smart enough).

Now, here’s a trick I like doing with guys while giving blowjobs (I call it the “Nympho Special”):  every guy has an ultra-sensitive spot on his vein, and if you’ve been with this guy for a while, you’ll know where it is.  It would be located somewhere along the center of his vein.  Your head would be lying on his stomach, and you’re sucking the life out of his head, really sucking hard (but not enough to hurt him).  You would take your two first fingers and place it on that sensitive spot on his vein, and you would rub it vigorously.  Trust me, he will go nuts…TRUST ME!!    Just tell him the Closet Nympho told you…*wink wink*

Always remember to do VARIATION.  When you’re doing one thing, don’t keep on doing it for minutes at a time.  Remember, you have a lot of skin to cover, in comparison to girls.  Guys get bored if you just do one thing on them.  They like action, they like variety.  They want to be brought to the brink by someone who knows what they’re doing.  So when you’re sucking on his head, rub his shaft at the same time, or give his balls a massage.  Don’t do it for every single move you make, but keep in mind that you should, half of the time, be doing two things at once.

Whew!  I know, I covered a lot of material today.  Don’t worry, there’s more to come in another post.  Questions?  Comments?  Let me know, I’d be more than happy to clarify anything here!  Happy blowing!!