I had surgery at 8 am this morning

it was hell.

Enough about that, let's talk about me. :) I am a depressed, sadly mistaken, horribly ironic, smarter than shit, calm, sweethearted, sexy woman. That's me. Now the sexy part, I threw that in to catch your eye and to make you think I'm a touch over confident, cocky.. did it work?

Delania came by tonight at like 9... and she stayed until 3 am. It wasn't as bad of a talk as it could have been.. and I would have loved to have someone by my side through the surgeries I've had in the past 2 days.. but.. U pick your poison. Sometimes when I look at her I cant see anything but her beauty. I wish she wasn't so angry though. I want people to know I'm happy being adopted. I want Delania to realize that even though she will never hold the same position that the woman changing my diaper and dealing with my colic and going through the teen years as a hellion.. she still holds a part of my heart that I set a side just for her, at a very young age. Everyone just needs to realize that and I can move forward... because what this is doing to me is holding me back.. or I suppress it and when I finally come clean to these people they better watch the F---- out. nicely.

SOO.... I started having pain in my mouth on monday after I chewed a piece of gum. Now here we go, I rarely ever chew gun I don't care for it blah blah .. . but I did it and instantly BANG! I had pain. Mind you I was in real estate class that I can't miss, that also lasts for NINE that's right NINE hours.  I went to the E.R. around midnight because by this point I was nauseated, and in the most incredible pain I truly had ever felt. SOOO they gave me an injection of novacaine, tried to de burden the infection I apparantely had... hooked me up with A.B. and pain meds and I went home. Well the darling next day... my mouth swelled up to almost twice it's normal size, and here's the real doosy. Just one side so it looked as though I had gotten my face punched. It wasn't pretty. Long story short Had a bad infection, which then turned into a BLOOD CLOT in my mouth!!!!!!!! I had to have two count that TWO teeth removed (no worries for all you shallow men out there you can't see them and I will be getting implants) and it's all stitched up..

Send me flowers. even the E flowers I want people to care I'm sick today. Though my grand parents really stepped up. It was nice. they helped me with everything took me to the hospital... talk to the doctors... but

I really missed my parents. I'm used to my mom taking me through these things
but these are also parts of life that I will have to go through on my own.. at some point.

but I STILL miss her even if she's sorta, kinda, maybe being a jerk to me. ugh.