A few things have taken place since I last wrote. For one, Jeremy blatantly hit on me, and then snidely asked whether or not I was going to tell Antonio. When I answered that as long as nothing happened, and Jeremy was respectful, there was no need to say anything to potentially hurt or anger Antonio. I think he might have interpreted that the wrong way, though, as I he seems to still want to pursue something.

Spurned on by all this talk with Jeremy, I sent some crazy texts to Antonio reminding him how things would be different once he returned to Shanghai. He told me to just relax, and that he wasn't seeing any women at the moment in his current city. A couple of texts later, all I received from him was silence. I finally got a message telling me to go to sleep and that we'd talk when when he got back to Shanghai. Fat chance, really. I just ignored the text and went out to a bar to forget about it all.

The next day, he sent me a text to ask how I was doing, but when I replied, it was the end of the "conversation." I didn't hear from him today, so who the hell knows what's going on.

I've been feeling really on edge lately, so I decided to get together one last time with the guy I slipped up with last Friday. A much more pleasurable night, although I was still not completely satisfied. Man, do I have such an insatiable appetite? I was certainly wet enough and dripping all over my blankets...

So, I'm going to be practicing celibacy for the next couple of weeks, I think. I'll be on holiday for Chinese New Year, and when Antonio gets back, I'm hoping we get to chat. That'll help to clear up some things, and I can move forward with my life in whatever direction I need to go. Can't wait to see what the outcome of all of this is! ;)