uniquely-ironic's tags:

 Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

 Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

 Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

 Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

 Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

 Law of the  Bath  When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

 Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

 Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio mechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

 Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

 The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

 Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

 Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

 Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

 Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

 Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

 Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

 Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick



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Comments

  • diabolicdame said on Jan 19, 2009....
    Did you happen to meet Murphy? Yep these laws all work and totally suck!! Like bf likes to sleep lying very very still.. whenever we were trying to fall asleep together and if our bodies were touching.. I'd ALWAYS want to itch my nose, my forehead, my arm etc etc until he threw me off to a safe distance in order to sleep!! lol
  • uniquely-ironic said on Jan 19, 2009....
    dd - I think Murphy had a lot to do with there.  My favorite is if you wear anything white you should count on eating something that will permanently stain it.
  • diabolicdame said on Jan 19, 2009....
    uni.. yep.. been in white.. stained that!!  :-D
  • wishyouwerehere said on Jan 19, 2009....

    Doctors' Law
    If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick

     

    This was my favorite - or when you take the car to the mechanic and it no longer makes "that noise," so you are forced to stand there like an idiot and try and recreate it!

    Very funny, Uni!

  • nytquill17 said on Jan 19, 2009....
    My probability of getting tomato sauce on my shirt while making dinner is directly related to how much I like the shirt I'm wearing.  Wearing my favorite shirt? Guaranteed.  Wearing some junky old thing because "I'm making spaghetti and I'll probably get it on me?"  Won't spill a drop.

    Loved these, Uni!

    I think the law of physical surfaces also covers cat barf, in my experience.
  • uniquely-ironic said on Jan 19, 2009....
    wishy - I thought so.  We have my sis to thank.  I've spent time immitating "that sound" in a few garages.
     
    nytquill - I have often thought of buying my own supply of lobster bibs just because I can and do often destroy shirts I love with tomato sauce, wine, grape juice, etc.
  • Fallyn said on Jan 19, 2009....
    i've had the law of commercial marketing strategy work on me several times.
    it's really annoying.
  • uniquely-ironic said on Jan 19, 2009....
    Fallyn - lipstick is one of the prime examples of this for me!
  • yani said on Jan 19, 2009....

    Law of Close Encounters ahahahahaha that always seem to happen to me :)

    and the "if the shoe fits" = it's ugly hahahaha nasty

  • uniquely-ironic said on Jan 19, 2009....
    yani - I have a similar version of Close Encounters.  The uglier and dirtier I look, the more likely I am to see someone I'd like to impress.
  • Fallyn said on Jan 19, 2009....
    the last two i've had was a makeup mistake remover pen....which was AWESOME. but now i went to replace the one i lost...and the stock girl said they'd discontinued it....
    before that it was the cough patches for kids. ....you could stick them on their chest....or even on their pajamas....i'd have to do that with middle cause she's allergic to the sticky stuff on the back of them.
    and they would actually STOP COUGHING ....like ALL night.
    then they discontinued them. :(
  • yani said on Jan 19, 2009....
    ooohhh ooohhh i just remembered, I finally found this lipgloss that works like heaven on me ( it takes me forever to find the exact right gloss or color or tint or whatever) and I was just so happy, I used it all the time, like I check my lips every couple of minutes to retouch hahahaha and so after a couple of weeks, I run out of it, so off I went to the beauty shop and guess what? they have phased it out :(   huuuwhat!!!  yeah...... just nasty
  • Fallyn said on Jan 19, 2009....
    i say it's infuriating!
  • uniquely-ironic said on Jan 19, 2009....
    Fallyn - wow, both sound extremely useful ..... which of course means they need to be taken off the market. ;)
     
    yani - happens to me a lot too.  Takes me forever to find a color and texture I can live with and then poof! gone.
  • Fallyn said on Jan 19, 2009....
    well of course they do....we can't actually have anything USEFUL sold in stores!
  • scipio said on Jan 20, 2009....
    A new tie attracts the soup of the day.
  • Hegemone said on Jan 20, 2009....
    Good ones, and a few I'm them I'm convinced from personal experience, that they are 100% TRUE, lol.
  • uniquely-ironic said on Jan 20, 2009....
    Fallyn - you're right.  God forbid we buy things that are helpful.
     
    scipio - I've heard that.  Not having experienced it myself.
     
    Hege - nothing like personal experience to reinforce the law ;)
  • one_wired_kitty said on Jan 29, 2009....

    I know, right? I found a soup that looked good ... bought it ... loved it ... no longer there.

    Found a tea-tree shampoo ... works beautifully on my hair ... can't find it anywhere.

     

    Or when I'm going to class ...

     

    I change lanes to ditch a tailgater only to be tailgated by a cop.

  • uniquely-ironic said on Jan 29, 2009....
    OWK - I hate when cops all but crawl up your tailpipe!  It's not like you can stomp on your brakes and give them a "hint"!  I'm with you on the shampoo thing too.

Comment on "Laws"

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Today is T day at work....
If you know how to multi task....
I am drowning my sorrows in a bowl full of kid's cereal - Cookie Crisp, dinner of champions. I could have easily made a case for eating cookies for dinner, but at least this way I can pretend to have eaten real food.

What I'd like to know is...
i was working with the other tech yesterday....
I've been computering again....