we cant be together because he doesnt have time for me. his job just got worse so hes now taking on the work of 3 other people because of layoffs, and hes traveling a lot with it, and hes in a band, that he just joined, an hes so happy when he plays. but because he travels so much with work right now, he is missing a lot of practice, so when he comes home he has practice and stuff to do with the band. so the only time left me is when he an the guys go to the bar, and i went an hung out only for it to be semi wierd between us. and then i left. i was tired and it was late, he shows up drunk at my place after they shut down the bar...and its like hed rather spend time with his friends drinking and having fun then come see me. and it hasnt always been like that, but just since my classes started again. now i have my set schedule and i know when i can do things, and hes a sper of the moment guy, where as i like to plan things..

i was so unhappy that i just cried because i never got to see him, and he came over, and talked. we just sat on my bed, i cried an he wiped away the tears an held me as he said he knew i wasnt happy . but that work was only going to get worse, and that he didnt know how to fix things... we kissed a bunch as the tears rolled down my face. and we decided we could try an salvage a friendship but not right now.

hell i cried myself to sleep lastnight with his tee shirt i miss him! i miss so much of him! everything! i want him so bad... i hate how things turned out. i hate this!

maybe i was right when i was younger and id say i was destined to be alone because, it seems to be that way!